


Prologue to Life/I Know You

by Slaymesoftly



Series: The I Know You Verse [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-08
Updated: 2011-07-08
Packaged: 2017-10-21 03:41:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 64,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaymesoftly/pseuds/Slaymesoftly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Begins just after Chosen, then goes to an AU season two where the Spike that comes to Sunnydale meets a Slayer he isn't ready for. But she is ready for him...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because this is a long fic, and an old one which has probably already been read by anyone interested in it, I am going to post it in multi-chapter sections. The first section is just the Prologue and Chapter One. The later postings will contain much larger portions of the story.

**A Prologue to Life — I Know You**

She held it together until they were in the motel. It wasn’t much of a motel, just a little roadside collection of cabins and rooms; but it had enough vacancies to fit everyone in, and it was only a few miles from the hospital where they’d left the wounded slayers and Robin.

Buffy and Dawn had a cabin to themselves and they flipped a coin to see who would shower first. Dawn won the toss, and while she was showering off the airborne dust from the crater that had replaced their home, Buffy just lay on the bed, staring blindly at the cracked ceiling. She idly noticed that there were flyspecks all over it and wondered where all the flies had gone.

 _Maybe Spike sucked them down into hell with the rest of Sunnydale. Maybe it created such a big vacuum that all the little teeny things got whooshed into the hellmouth. I think I’ll ask him if that’s what happened…._

Without warning, the full impact of the morning’s events hit, and she could no longer pretend not to know that she would never be able to ask Spike anything, ever again. Full awareness of what she had lost hit with a physical shock and when Dawn emerged from the bathroom she found her sister curled into a miserable ball in the middle of the bed, keening softly and rocking herself from side to side.

Dawn silently slipped onto the bed behind Buffy’s much smaller body and wrapped her arms around her. With her own tears sliding down her face, Dawn rocked with the older girl, knowing that as bad as she felt for letting Spike go without healing the rift between them, it was nothing compared to what her sister was feeling.

Dawn thought about Spike’s defense of the Slayer when everyone, including Buffy’s own younger sister, had ejected her from her own house. She remembered hearing Buffy giving Spike credit for enabling her to find the courage and strength to confront Caleb and retrieve the scythe.

In spite of the anger she’d felt toward the vampire when Xander had told her he tried to rape her sister, she knew that he’d been the one constant in Buffy’s life for years. His love for her sister never wavered, and no matter what happened between them, he was always there for her when she needed him. And she had needed him a lot this past year. Right up until the bitter end, when he allowed his newly restored soul to immolate him to save the world.

Choking back her own sobs, Dawn stroked Buffy’s hair and made soothing noises until the high pitched keening tapered off. Eventually, Buffy stopped rocking and appeared to have drifted into an exhausted sleep. Dawn quietly unwound herself and went out to join the others for a meal.

When she reached the nearby cafe, Giles gestured for her to join him at the table with Willow, Kennedy, Xander, and Andrew. Faith had stayed at the hospital to be near Robin

“Where’s Buffy?” Willow asked, looking around with concern. Even though the apparently mortal wound that Buffy had sustained during the fight had miraculously closed up by the time she made it out of the cavern, her exhaustion had been evident and they were all concerned about her.

“It just hit her,” Dawn said quietly.

“What just hit her? That we won? I’d think she’d want to celebrate. There should be singing and dancing and....” Xander’s voice trailed off as he remembered why he wasn’t singing and dancing. “Oh,” he said, subsiding into the fog of grief that he’d been in since their escape.

“What, oh?” Kennedy asked with her usual disregard of anyone else’s feelings. “We SHOULD be singing and dancing. We beat the bad guy and we’re all still here to talk about it.”

Xander’s fists clenched under the table and Dawn gasped at the new slayer’s lack of empathy. Everyone at the table, except Xander who was staring intently at his plate and fighting back tears, turned to stare at her.

Willow struggled to make excuses for her new girl friend’s lack of tact, telling herself that Kennedy hadn’t been part of the group long enough to know how much the others had been through together before the potentials began filling Buffy’s house with noise and hormones. But she cringed in spite of herself to think that she was falling love with someone so inconsiderate.  
 _Tara would never have been that thoughtless._ She poked Kennedy hard in the side and hissed angrily, “We’re not exactly all still here, Kennedy.”

The newly called slayer actually had to think for a few seconds before she remembered that Xander had lost an ex-fiancée and that the vampire that had lived in the basement since before she arrived was also gone.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, guys.” She looked apologetically at Xander and Dawn. “I forgot for a minute.”

Dawn looked as though she was planning to come across the table and test Kennedy’s new-found powers until Giles put a restraining hand on her arm.

“Do you think she will be joining us for dinner, Dawn?” he asked gently. His heart ached for his surrogate daughter, knowing that their estrangement this year was entirely his fault. He was too old and experienced in the ways of the world to allow himself to wallow in guilt, but he accepted without hesitation that his willingness to help Robin kill Spike meant that his sympathy would not be welcomed at this time.

Dawn shook her head “no” emphatically. “She fell asleep, finally, and I don’t intend to wake her up until she’s ready.” She felt her own eyes fill with tears again as she said softly, “He promised he would never leave us... that he would always be there to....” She swallowed a sob and got up abruptly. “I don’t think I’m all that hungry, guys. I’ll see you all tomorrow morning.”

She bolted from the cafe and ran back to the cabin, an unreasonable fear making her gasp for air as she ran. Bursting in the door, she immediately glanced at the bed; there was no sign of her sister.

Terror worse than anything she’d felt that morning seized Dawn’s body and she gasped for breath that wouldn’t come. She had no idea why she was suddenly so frightened; she just knew she should be.

The sound of water running in the bathroom brought her to the door and she cautiously pushed it open to find Buffy, still dressed, standing under the shower and staring at the knife she held over her left wrist.

Dawn’s strangled gasp didn’t so much disturb the wet girl, as it distracted her for a moment. She looked up slowly with eyes that chilled Dawn with their blankness.

“B... Buffy?” Dawn’s voice was a trembling whisper. “What are you doing, Buffy?”

Her sister continued to stare at her expressionlessly; then she looked back down at her wrist and the knife blade just touching it.

“I don’t have to do this anymore, Dawn,” she said as though explaining something self-evident. “I’m not The One anymore. I can rest again.”

“You’re going to leave me alone? You too?” Too late, she realized that adding to Buffy’s guilt wasn’t going to get her the result she wanted and she immediately changed her approach, moving a little further into the small bathroom.

“Buffy, he wouldn’t want you to do this. You know he wouldn’t. He wants you to enjoy not being the One anymore. He died so that you could have the life you wanted.”

“He died to save the world, not me.” Even as she said that, Buffy knew it wasn’t true. She knew that he’d expected her to be part of that world. That he’d made her leave the cavern so she wouldn’t die with him.  
.  
“It hurts, Dawnie. It hurts so much....” She spoke in a whisper, still staring at her wrist and watching the water run down the blade of the knife and onto her skin. “If I….” She raised her eyes again. “It doesn’t hurt when I’m…. There’s no pain there.”

Dawn blanched at the reference to the last time Buffy’d died. “I know it does, Buffy. It hurts me too. But he doesn’t want us to hurt. You know he doesn’t. He loved us too much to want us to be unhappy. He wanted us to live and enjoy the world he saved. Shouldn’t we try to do what he wanted, Buffy? Shouldn’t we do that for him?” Dawn’s voice was soft and pleading as she edged closer to the bathtub.

“I don’t care what he wants! I want it to stop. If he wanted me to be happy, he shouldn’t have died. He shouldn’t have left me.”

Once again clutching her sides as if she could contain the anguish by just squeezing hard enough, Buffy collapsed into the bottom of the tub, letting the knife fall unnoticed into the water. Dawn quickly snatched it up and threw it out of the room as she climbed into the rapidly cooling water still pouring out of the shower to hold her sobbing sister.

When they were both shivering from the now icy water coming from the shower, Dawn pulled her unresisting sibling out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel while she shut off the stream of cold water. Buffy offered no resistance, nor did she offer any help, as Dawn got her dried off and into dry clothes.

Morning found the Slayer and the Key huddled together on the bed, exhausted, but filled with the calm acceptance that comes from having grieved as much as it was humanly possible to do at one time. The morning sun washed their tear-stained faces with warm, golden light, inviting them to get up and go out into the newly saved and welcoming world.

 

 **I Know You**

 **Chapter One**

“Buffy, do you know where my green sweater is?” Dawn’s voice echoed down the hall of the large Victorian that Giles had bought with Council money. It was a more or less permanent home for both himself and the younger people he had come to think of as his children.

Buffy and Dawn had moved in with him at his urging, ostensibly so that Dawn could attend a “good” school in London, but also so that he could watch Buffy and track her mental health. In his stiff, British way, he had apologized to her for his treatment of Spike – and by extension, his treatment of her for supporting the vampire. He willingly admitted that he had misjudged both the man and the situation and, without actually going down on his knees, he had begged for her forgiveness.

Her easy acceptance of his apology bothered him more than he cared to admit. The Buffy he knew, while generous and forgiving with the people she loved, was also volatile and capable of great anger. He was confident that until she had expressed that anger fully, she would not be able to truly forgive him. The fact that he couldn’t see that righteous anger anywhere in her demeanor worried him enough that he confided in Dawn.

The teenager had grown up so much in past year that he found nothing strange about talking to her as another adult. He wasn’t surprised when she agreed completely that Buffy’s apathy was a negative sign, not a positive one.

“She doesn’t even cry anymore, Giles. It’s like she’s just waiting for something to happen and nothing that goes on while she waits is important enough to get excited about. She won’t talk about him, but she won’t try to meet anybody else. If you say ‘Angel’ to her, she just looks blank and shrugs like she’s not sure who that is. The only time I saw her show any emotion was when we went past a soc – sorry – football stadium and she saw the sign for Manchester United. For some reason, she started laughing and then crying, but she wouldn’t tell me why. She just muttered something about ‘happy meals on legs’ and ‘stupid vampire’.”

“Perhaps when Willow arrives in a few weeks, she’ll be able to reach her. I’m quite concerned about Buffy’s mental health; I just cannot fathom what to do about it.”

“Well, you know Willow,” Dawn snarked. “She’ll just want to do a spell to ‘fix it’.”

The new head of the Council of Watchers shook his head and smiled.

“Now, Dawn, you know that all the time Willow has spent with the coven has cured her of wanting to use magic to solve everything. That was really quite unfair.”

“Uh huh,” was the only response as the teenager left the room. “Whatever you say, Giles.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Willow’s arrival was a very low-key affair. She arrived with a minimum of baggage and fanfare. The fact that Kennedy was not with her didn’t upset the residents of the house, the brash slayer not being terribly popular with anyone except her girlfriend.

Buffy’s greeting was warm, but restrained. As she did with everyone, she expressed a polite interest in Willow’s well-being, but soon distanced herself from the conversation. The other girl frowned briefly when Buffy didn’t even ask about Kennedy, but attributed it to her not wanting to embarrass Willow in public. When Buffy still hadn’t inquired by the time Willow was unpacking, she finally asked, “So, aren’t you curious about why I’m by myself?”

Buffy gave a guilty start, shocked out of her self-absorbed misery for a few seconds by the pain in Willow’s voice.

“Oh, God, Wills, I’m so sorry. Of course I am. Where’s Kennedy? Has something happened to her?”

Willow looked at her friend with sad eyes and answered slowly, “No, nothing happened to her. We just decided... well, I decided, that we needed a little break. Some time to think about... things.”

“Things?”

Willow sighed and sat on the bed. Buffy got up on the other side and they sat crosslegged, facing each other just as they had so many times when they were in high school.

“I know it’s wrong to compare her to... to Tara. I know that. She’s not Tara, she’s Kennedy and that’s not a bad thing to be. But....”

“But?”

“But I keep finding myself thinking, ‘Tara wouldn’t do that,’ or ‘Tara would never have said that,’ and I realized that those things that Tara wouldn’t do or say... they were things I valued about her. They were reasons why I loved her so much. And... even though I am attracted to Kennedy, and very grateful to her for showing me that I could live and love again, she’s not who I want to spend my life with.”

The redhead fiddled with the bedspread as she talked. “I just want to find someone to love again. Someone who makes me complete the way Tara did. And I’m willing to wait until that person comes along. Do you know what I mean, Buffy?”

“I know exactly what you mean, Willow. Believe me, I’m the queen of waiting for someone else who completes me.”

The two friends were silent for a few minutes, each lost in her thoughts. Finally Willow took Buffy’s hand in hers and asked, “So, you’re still with the missage, huh?”

Buffy nodded her head and allowed a tear to trickle down her cheek. “Every minute of every day. The only time I don’t miss him is when I’m asleep and I’m dreaming that he’s here with me. Then I wake up and....”

Willow nodded, but couldn’t help saying, “You know he wouldn’t have wanted you to mourn this long, don’t you? All Spike ever wanted was for you to let him love you and be happy. As much as he was glad to get you back, he would have given you up in a minute if he’d been sure you were ready to go back to Heaven.”

“I know that, Will. And, I want to be happy again. I do. I’m just not sure I remember how to do it. From the time I sent Angel to hell, my life has been pretty much one big suck fest after another. I’d love to go back to perky, cheerful Buffy. I just don’t know where she is, you know?”

Willow reached out to hug her friend, a thoughtful look on her face.

Several conversations with Giles and Dawn, as well as more time spent with Buffy, and the kind-hearted witch was determined to do something about her friend’s unhappiness.

 _If she wants to go back to being happy, Buffy, I just need to find a spell that will bring back that feeling. To make her feel the way she did before being the Slayer interfered with her life so much. A way to make her feel like sixteen-year-old Buffy. How hard can it be?_

More conversations with Giles and Dawn had Willow more than convinced that a spell was the way to go. She would find one that allowed Buffy to keep all her adult memories, but push the years of pain into the back of her mind and let the innate perkiness she’d had as a sixteen-year-old resurface.

Knowing they would not approve of what she was planning, she didn’t talk to either Giles or Dawn about her idea. She found time alone in which to research exactly what kind of spell was needed and to collect the materials required, and then she waited for an opportune time.

The night Giles went out to a late meeting, and Dawn was spending the night with one of her new friends, Willow decided that the time was ripe. She remembered how Buffy said the only time she was not unhappy was when she was asleep and dreaming about Spike. That seemed to Willow to be a good time to do a happiness spell – when the recipient was already in a happy place.

Checking briefly to be sure Buffy was still peacefully asleep and not having a nightmare, Willow quickly set up her spell and began to cast. The candles flickered as she muttered her incantations in Latin and English. When she was almost finished, she waved her hand through the herbal smoke and whispered.

“Let this spell bring forth the happy person inside this one; and let her find her true happiness. So mote it be.”

With that final sentence, the candles blew out and Willow got up to put her things away, pleased with herself. She decided to wait until morning to see how it turned out, figuring a Buffy interrupted in the middle of dreaming about Spike was not going to be a happy Buffy, spell or no spell.

She got into bed and drifted off the sleep, secure in the knowledge that she had improved Buffy’s life for her.


	2. ChapterTwo  through Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy wakes up someplace much too familiar. And Spike meets a slayer who knows things about him he can't imagine.

**Chapter Two**

Buffy jerked slightly and blinked at her surroundings. One minute she was dreaming that she was in Spike’s arms, sleeping peacefully in his crypt, and the next she appeared to be in the old long-gone Bronze. And she appeared to be dancing – with Willow and Xander. A very young Willow and Xander.

As the dance went on and she began to enjoy the way her body was moving with the music, she realized that the whole thing seemed very familiar. She glanced at the band, back at her friends, and down at herself and her clothes.

 _Ohmygod, I’m dreaming about that night in the Bronze. The first time I saw Spike. The first time he threatened to kill me._

Buffy gazed around and marveled at how detailed her dream was. She could feel the wooden floor under her feet, smell the mixed brew of perfume, beer, and sweat that permeated the air. She could even see the beginning of a zit on Xander’s face if she looked closely.

 _Wow, this is a freakishly real dream. I’m dreaming about zits. On Xander._

Suddenly she felt the tingle on the back of her neck that meant there was a vampire nearby and she remembered Spike’s telling her one time that he had loved her from the first time he saw her dancing in the Bronze. She turned slowly, scanning the room for the bleached blond vampire her neck was now telling her was watching.

In reality, she hadn’t known he was in the club at all. She’d just responded to what she heard about an attack in the alley and run out. However, telling herself it was her dream to do with as she liked, she looked around the room until she spotted him prowling like a blond panther on the edges of the crowd, never taking his eyes off her as he stalked through the other patrons.

Buffy stared back at him until he raised his eyes to her face _What the hell was he looking at all that time? My sixteen-year-old butt?_ and blinked in surprise to find her looking right at him. Their eyes locked and Buffy’s stomach clenched as the familiar blue gaze bored into her. She suppressed a whimper of longing, reminding herself that in this time and place, they were not lovers but enemies.

 _He’s here to kill me. There will be no flirting with the Slayer of Slayers. Never mind what I know about what he’s got hiding under that long coat. He’s unchipped, unsouled and very evil._

In spite of the pep talk she gave herself, Buffy couldn’t resist giving him a dazzling smile before she turned back to her friends and waited for the phone call that would tell her she was needed in the alley.

Spike froze in mid-stride when the Slayer focused her beautiful green eyes on him. It made him shiver, the way she was looking at him. As though she knew who and what he was. As though she... He shook himself abruptly.

 _I must be losing it. Thinking about the Slayer like that. Not that she isn’t a hot little number. Movin’ her body an’ all, driving these little boys crazy. But I’m here to kill her, not shag her. I have my dark princess for that._

He quickly went back outside and gave the minion his instructions while he faded back into the shadows to watch the Slayer. She didn’t disappoint him. She was out the door in no time and threw the minion off the girl he was trying to eat. Spike watched in admiration as she toyed with one of his better fighters, uttering bad puns and clever quips as she kicked his arse all over the alley. It was almost pathetic how easily she handled the vampire. Especially after he got in one lucky punch that rocked her back for a minute.

It was the last punch he got. With incredible fluidity, she dazzled the vamp with punches and kicks until one of her friends tossed her a stake and she put it through his heart with one well-placed stab. She was wiping the dust off her hands when Spike stepped out of the shadows, clapping slowly.

She looked up at him with no surprise on her face and waited for him to stop clapping.

“Who are you?” she asked, sounding unconcerned and not really interested.

“You’ll find out Saturday,” he said in what he hoped was an intimidating manner. There was something about the way this girl was looking at him. As though she could see right through him and wasn’t worried at all.

“And what happens Saturday?” Her bored tone implied she already knew the answer.

“I get to kill you,” he growled.

To his complete amazement, she gave him another one of those dazzling grins and said, “You get to try. If you can wait that long.”

“Oh, I can wait, little girl. What makes you think I can’t?”

“Because I know you, Spike,” she said, her expression softening for a minute. “I know you,” she repeated so softly that only he could hear it.

He could do nothing as she and her friends returned to the club but stand in the alley with “Huh?” written all over his face.

Inside, Buffy pleaded thirst from vampire dust and sat down to drink her coke and think about this incredibly real dream. She’d treated it just like any other dream at first – walking through the motions of fighting with the vamp. She did notice that the fight was much more one-sided than she remembered it being the first time. Due, no doubt, to her sixteen year old body being run by the much more experienced mind of the longest lived Slayer in history.

After fighting with Spike himself multiple times, Angelus several times, a Hellgod, and a Turok-han, one overly-cocky minion hadn’t even challenged her. The one punch to her jaw did hurt though, and she’d responded with righteous anger that ended the fight very quickly. She absently stroked the slight bruise on her jaw and wondered how a dream punch could continue to be sore after the dream had moved on to somewhere else.

Surprisingly, when the evening ended and they got up to go home, her dream continued in rather boring fashion. She walked home, greeted her mother – hugging her hard enough to make her mother wince before she reminded herself that in this dream her mother wasn’t dead or dying yet – and went upstairs to get ready for bed.

 _All right. I think I could find more interesting things to dream about than brushing my teeth. What happened to my nice dream about snuggling in bed with Spike? Why am I dreaming about him when he wanted to kill me? Oh well, I’ll wonder about it tomorrow. Maybe I can dream I’m asleep, dreaming about Spike..._

 _***************_

 _Okay. This is officially getting weird now,_ she thought when she awoke the next morning in her old bed with the sun coming in the window. I’m dreaming I have morning breath and I have to pee. I have got to be the most boring dreamer on the face of the earth. Where’s a good Slayer/prophecy dream when you need one?

 

By the time she had dressed in a sixteen-year-old’s cotton underwear and a skirt much too short, she was beginning to get the sinking feeling that this was not a dream from which she was going to wake up anytime soon. The thought that she was about to relive the last five stressful years of her life was not a happy prospect, but with the resilience of youth she was able to push it aside. She bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen, greeting her mother cheerfully and suppressing the little twinge she felt at knowing how different things were going to be in a few years.

Then she remembered that Spike was here. She had five years to convince Spike that she loved him. Five years to make up to him for all the pain she’d inflicted on him. Five years to spend time in his arms, in his bed. Five years to appreciate how precious those moments were going to be.

 _Great. All I have to do is convince William the Bloody that the only thing better than killing this Slayer will be—_

Much to her surprise, the school day went fairly quickly and she was able to do the work without leaning too heavily on Willow’s brainpower.

 _I guess I did learn a thing or two in spite of myself._ She grinned with silent amusement as the answers to much of her homework popped into her head. Willow looked at her curiously, but didn’t say anything as Buffy whipped through their history assignment.

As she knew was her habit, she went to the school library after classes were over, somewhat startled at the youthful appearance of her Watcher. From the perspective of a woman in her mid-twenties, he appeared to be a very attractive, somewhat older man, rather than the stodgy old codger he had appeared to her sixteen-year-old eyes. The comparison between the man she was now looking at and the weary, careworn Head of the Council of Watchers that she’d left behind in what she was trying very hard to believe was the real world, was an eye opener, and she realized that the years of fighting on the hellmouth had taken their toll on him just as much as they had on her.

“Ah, Buffy, there you are. I understand you had an unusual experience last evening?” The question indicated that Willow or Xander had already told him about the strange vampire and his cocky remarks about killing her on Saturday.

She chewed her lip briefly, wondering what she wanted to say to him. Although she tried to tell herself it was only a dream, so it didn’t matter what she did or said, the nagging feeling that this was very real for everyone else would not go away. Deciding to hold her tongue until she figured out what was going on, she just gave him the bare details of the encounter, leaving out that she already knew the vampire.

She did tell him Spike’s name, as she remembered that the vamp she’d staked had asked Spike for help just before she dusted him. Giles frowned and went to consult his watcher’s records for a vampire named Spike.

“You’re sure he called him, ‘Spike’?” he asked, thumbing through his books.

“His name is Spike, Giles,” she responded wondering if he would pick up on her certainty.

“Try looking under William the Bloody,” came a deep voice from the stacks behind the librarian.

“Angel!” Buffy felt her heart rate increase, then level off as she looked at the brooding vampire with eyes that had seen him at his best and worst. If he wondered why she was looking at him so intently, he didn’t say anything. If anything, he tried to avoid her eyes as he sought out the watcher and helped him find the correct book.

“Oh dear,” Giles said as he read the short bio of Spike’s career as a vampire. “It says here he has fought two Slayers before – and killed both of them. He travels with his consort—“ he looked up quickly as Buffy coughed a muffled, “ho bag” into her hand, then went back to his book, “Drusilla. A seer before she was turned by... oh dear….” He glanced up again. “By Angelus.”

Buffy watched Angel flinch at the mention of his unsouled self and the insane vampire he had sired.

“You will have to be very careful, Buffy. It would appear that this could be one of the most dangerous vampires you’ve faced yet.”

“More dangerous than the Master?” she inquired, trying to look more interested than she was.

 _I guess it wouldn’t do to let them know I’m not worried about Spike killing me. Might be hard to explain._

“Don’t underestimate Spike,” Angel said quickly. “He is nothing if not persistent.”

He stopped in confusion as Buffy laughed and whispered, “He is that.” She saw the look on his face and mentally scolded herself. “I’m sorry Angel,” she said, waving at him to continue. “Please tell us more about him.”

By the time Angel was through telling them about Spike, and he and Giles were making plans for Saturday night, the feast of St. Vigeous, Buffy had lost interest in the conversation. With her newfound perspective, she was very aware of the omissions in Angel’s stories about Spike, and also the edge of irritation in his voice that was always there in later years when he spoke of his grandchilde.

She could tell Giles was getting very frustrated by her lack of attention to their plans for Saturday night and she finally asked, “Are you both so sure he’s going to attack me Saturday? Maybe he’ll get tired of waiting and do something before then. Tomorrow night, maybe. At Parent-Teacher Night.”

She rolled her eyes as Angel and Giles ignored her and went back to making their plans for the weekend.

As the day went on and she lived every minute of it, including such mundane things as eating dinner and sneaking out of the house for patrol, it was becoming more and more obvious that she was not dreaming.

 _Somehow, I’ve been returned to my sixteen-year-old self, but with all my memories and knowledge. I guess it’s time to let Giles in on what’s going on and see if he can help me get back to my own time and place._

She decide to wait until Parent-Teacher Night was over and she had seen Spike again before telling her watcher what she thought was going on.

 _If I have to be stuck here, I don’t plan to wait four more years before I kiss him for the first time._

 

 **Chapter Three**

The time came for Back to School Night and Buffy was able to shrug off her concerns about Snyder and her mother meeting each other. She could see him for what he was – a power-hungry little man – and dismissed him as unimportant to her life.

 _Maybe I’ll let Spike eat him tonight_ , was her idle thought as she passed out cookies and waited for him to arrive with his minions. Where her sixteen year old self would have been aghast at the thought of letting a vampire have a human, even one as obnoxious as Snyder, her older self shrugged and wondered what high school would have been like without the nasty little man.

 _Maybe Robin would be sent here sooner. No wait, that wouldn’t be good cause Spike is still evil and he’ll try to dust him._

She sighed and decided that Snyder would get to live a little longer in this world too.

When the sounds of screaming and breaking glass signaled the arrival of the vampires, she perked up and ran to be sure her mother was safe. As soon as she knew the adults were as safe as they could be, she began her search for Spike. She idly staked whatever minions she came across, not stopping until she found the smirking object of her search. As she stepped out into the hallway and dropped the axe, she saw him run an appreciative eye up her bare legs, past her short skirt and tight shirt to her face.

The lustful look on his face almost made her forget that this Spike was not chipped, not souled and not in love with her. _Yet_

Shaking off the urge to walk right up to him and cup the bulge she knew was growing in his pants, she stared at him intently and said her line, “Do we really need weapons for this?” In retrospect, it was an incredibly stupid thing for a slayer to do or say. She could remember years later, Spike’s pointing out to her that she always had to have her weapon ready because a vampire’s fangs and claws were always ready.

 _What the hell was I thinking? It’s a good thing Spike can’t resist a challenge or he would have had me right then and there._

As she knew he would, he dropped the pipe he’d been holding. Only after running his hand down his chest and flat stomach to draw her eyes back to his crotch. She watched his eyes and saw the confusion when she licked her lips and smiled in appreciation at his actions.

 _This could be a lot of fun. Damn sexy vampire thinks he’s going to freak out the little virgin Slayer. He doesn’t know I know there’s a Victorian gentleman lurking inside that punk package. Or that I know all about pushing his buttons and he hasn’t found any of mine yet. Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun._

Buffy was so busy anticipating how much fun she was going to have playing with Spike that she almost forgot he seriously wanted to kill her at this time in their lives. His first punch rocked her back on her heels and she shook off the sexual fantasies until she could get the situation under control. Although she could see her mother hovering in the background and staring in confused amazement at her daughter’s battle with the vampire, she knew she wouldn’t be needing her mom’s help with the axe this time.

Years of fighting with and beside Spike, not to mention sparring with him for training, had given her an intimate knowledge of his fighting style. That plus her years of experience as a slayer made this fight a very different one from their evenly matched battle the real first time they met. It was easy for her to anticipate Spike’s moves and counter them before they could hurt her.

She watched the frustration growing on his face, but she could also see the joy he always had in facing a worthy opponent and she knew he was having a good time. When it seemed that they had been fighting for much longer than the first time, she took advantage of her knowledge and experience to sweep his legs out and slam his head into the floor.

Even though he appeared to be unconscious, she leapt to straddle him and hold a piece of the axe handle over his heart. She waited until she knew her mother had followed her instructions to take the others and leave before allowing herself to relax and lean over his face. She stroked his brow ridges until he relaxed back into his beautiful human features and she was looking down onto the face she’d only seen in her dreams for the past year.

She got so wrapped up in reacquainting herself with his chiseled cheekbones and full lips; not to mention the incredible feel of his body between her legs, that it was a full second before she realized his eyes were open and he was staring at her with a combination of lust, hate and bewilderment.

 _What the bloody hell? I was out like a light, the Slayers sittin’ on me with a stake in her hand, and I’m not dust._

“Hi,” Buffy said cheerily.

He looked up at her suspiciously. “Like to tell me why I’m not blowin’ in the wind, pet? Not that I don’t ‘preciate it,” he added quickly as he felt the stake press into his chest just enough to let him know that she could drive it home before he could move.

Buffy shook her head and admitted reluctantly, “I don’t think I can do that yet.”

She fought the urge to drop the stake and run her hands over his body by reminding herself that this Spike was still in love with Drusilla and would take advantage of her weakness in a heartbeat. Thinking about how much he loved the crazy vampire helped her focus and she glared down at him as though he was deliberately cheating on her.

Spike could feel her pulse pounding and could see the play of emotions flicker across her face, but he was completely dumbfounded as to what was going on. By all rights he should never have awakened from his short spell of unconsciousness. She should have staked him and moved on. That’s what slayers did. They slayed. No witty quips, no sitting on the intended slayee with their hot little bodies only inches from his rapidly growing erection...

 _Bollocks! Wasn’t bad enough she beat me, she’s got to rub it in my face by turnin’ me on._

Buffy watched his eyes darken and knew that she was having the same effect on him that he was on her. In spite of how much he wanted to kill her, his body was hers for the taking. Never taking her eyes off those intense blue lasers, she slid back until his denim-covered erection was touching her damp sex. She knew he could feel and smell her arousal and she smiled at the way he involuntarily pushed his hips up against her heat when she tightened her legs around him again.

Keeping the point of the stake pressed into the skin of his chest hard enough to cause a drop of blood to form, Buffy leaned slowly toward his face, dropping her eyes to his mouth. When her warm lips met his soft, cool ones, she couldn’t help giving a little moan as he immediately responded to her kiss. Their lips moved softly against each other as Buffy reveled in the familiar sensation and the vampire tasted her warm, mobile mouth for the first time. When he tentatively touched her lower lip with his tongue, requesting more, she readily complied, sending her own tongue out to meet his and caressing it before drawing it in to her mouth.

Buffy lost track of how long they were there, lost in exploring each other’s lips and tongues. She could feel Spike’s cock pushing against her and fought the urge to drop the stake so that she could lie down on top of him the way she wanted to.

Suddenly the sound of voices reached their ears and Buffy pulled back reluctantly. Spike’s eyes flickered back to amber as he recognized Angel’s voice calling Buffy’s name frantically. He looked at her almost reproachfully as she gave a guilty start and sat up completely. Unfortunately, that forced her hips down onto his, grinding her warmth onto him.

Ignoring the stake pressed against his chest, the vampire sat up quickly, leaving them face to face with Buffy straddling his lap. The stake forgotten, she slipped her arms around his neck and nipped him gently right below his jaw where she knew he loved it. She giggled when he groaned, earning her an indignant glare as he pulled back in shock.

“I know you, Spike,” she responded to his unspoken question.

“You ARE going to explain this to me, Slayer,” he growled, “but not right now. I think it’s time for me to leave before the cavalry gets here.”

He shocked both of them, himself more than Buffy, by leaning in to plant a quick kiss on her lips as he whispered, “Later, luv,” and threw her off his lap. He grinned at her indignant sputtering from where she was sprawled on the floor; then blew her another kiss as he turned and vanished out the nearby window.

When Angel, Xander and Giles came sliding to a halt, Buffy was already back on her feet and waiting for them.

“Buffy! Are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

Angel’s readiness to assume that she had lost the fight angered the Slayer and she huffed at him, “Of course, I’m all right. The day I can’t take Spike....” Her voice trailed off as she remembered that she wasn’t supposed to even know the blond vamp yet, let alone have fought him before.

“If you are all right, does that mean you dusted him?” Xander inquired eagerly.

“Um, no. Not exactly. I did have my stake pressed over his heart, though,” she added brightly. “That has to count for something.”

“If you had your stake over his heart, why isn’t he dust?” Angel asked with a growl. He was walking around Buffy obviously sniffing her as he did.

“You know, Angel, that whole smelling things on people is really yucky,” she snapped at him. She knew he was scenting not only her close contact with Spike, but the arousal still dampening her underwear.

Her heart softened when she noticed the bewildered and hurt look on his face.

 _This is Angel. He loves you and he is just trying to protect what he thinks is a very young Slayer. He hasn’t lost his soul, he hasn’t left you and he has no idea that he will do those things._

“I’m sorry, Angel,” she said softly. “I know you’re just trying to protect me, but, really, I’m fine.”

He nodded briefly, but the hurt look didn’t leave his face and she knew he would be going back to his apartment to brood later.

Telling her watcher she would talk to him tomorrow, she ran off to catch up with her mother and try to explain away the evening’s activities. On the way there, it occurred to her that keeping her mother in the dark about her slaying until she found out the hard way, might not be the best approach.

 _Okay, then, here goes my first attempt, other than kissing Spike, to really go against what I know actually happened. Hopefully, it won’t end the world._

When her mother indicated that she wasn’t angry, but proud of Buffy’s behavior during the crisis, she decided that was the perfect opening for her confession. They settled into the kitchen with cups of hot chocolate and Buffy began her approach to the subject.

“So, Mom, did you get a good look at those guys who attacked the school tonight?”

Joyce looked at Buffy carefully. She knew that the fight she had witnessed between her young daughter and the man with the frighteningly deformed face was well beyond the skills and physical capabilities of most sixteen-year-old girls. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that it was probably beyond the capabilities of most adult, professional bodyguards.

“Yes, I did,” she answered simply and waited.

“What did you think they were?”

“Well, Principal Snyder indicated they were a gang hopped up on PCP....”

Buffy’s snort focused her mother’s attention back on her daughter.

“But I have a feeling you’re going to tell me that isn’t what they are, aren’t you?”

Instead of answering directly, she asked quietly, “Do you remember why I said I had to set fire to the gym in LA?”

Her mother flinched at the memory of that trying time in their lives and nodded. Then her eyes widened and flew to meet Buffy’s expectant look.

“Oh my god, you said they were... vampires? And that you were trying to kill them.”

Buffy nodded and continued to look at her mother until she could see that all the dots had been connected. Her mother’s face was a study in disbelief and horror.

“We... we sent you to a psychiatrist! We thought you were crazy.”

Buffy smiled bitterly, “Yeah, that was definitely one of the highlights of my life.”

When she saw the tears in her mother’s eyes, she regretted her tone and the words instantly.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” she grabbed her mother’s hand and squeezed it. “I understand. If I hadn’t been me, I’d have thought I was crazy too.”

“So, those... people tonight... they were vampires?”

“’Fraid so. Apparently we moved here so that I could take care of the little problem this town has, what with being built over a hellmouth and all.”

At her mother’s blank look, she straightened and patted her hand reassuringly. “That’s another story. Right now, all you need to know is that there are such things as vampires and demons, and I was... chosen... to fight them. I am the Slayer. The one in all the—oh, nuts. I’ll have Giles come and talk to you.”

“Mr Giles? The librarian?”

“Uh, yeah. That’s his day job. Watching me is kinda his night job.”

Her mother shook her head, trying to make sense of the things her daughter was saying. Suddenly her gaze went over Buffy’s head and she asked in a small voice, “ Buffy? These...vampires. Do they sometimes look like ordinary humans?”

“They can, Mom. That’s why you have to be so careful about who you invite into the house. Why do you ask?”

“Because I think there’s one out there looking in the window,” her mother answered without ever taking her frightened eyes off the window in the kitchen door.

Buffy whirled, pulling her stake from the waistband of her skirt as she did so. Standing just outside the kitchen door and making boogey-man faces in the window was the vampire she’d been sitting on earlier.

Buffy stomped to the door and threw it open angrily.

“What do you want, Spike? And stop making stupid faces at my mom. You’re scaring her.”

“Buffy,” her mother ventured, “shouldn’t we be locking the door rather than opening it?”

“It’s okay, Mom. He can’t get in unless one of us invites him – and we’re not going to do that. Not yet, anyway.”

Spike and her mother wore identical expressions of confusion at her “not yet”, but she ignored them and again demanded, “What are you doing here?”

“Wanted to finish our... conversation, pet,” he smirked, rolling his tongue up under his teeth.

Buffy heard her mother’s gasp as she thought he was referring to the violent fight she’d witnessed between them. She shot her mother a reassuring glance; then turned back to the vampire lounging in the doorway.

“Tempting as that thought is…. “ She laughed at his startled look and the way his eyes immediately darkened with desire. “I don’t think so. We will finish it, though, Spike. I promise you,” she added softly. “I promise we will.”

For just a second the cocky look slipped and he stared at her intently. “Gonna hold you to that, luv,” he said with a low rumble that made her body tingle in exciting ways.

She looked back at him, wanting nothing more than to step out the door and throw herself into his arms, but she forced herself to hold back and remember that to him she was just a new slayer he had to fight. The way he licked his lips as he stared at her told her he was already feeling things he didn’t want to, but she knew Spike too well to think that he would let lust get in the way of bagging his third Slayer.

“I know you will,” she replied with a smile. “I’m counting on it.”

“Why’s that, pet?” He tilted his head at her inquisitively.

“Because I know you,” she replied and shut the door on his befuddled face.

 

 **Chapter Four**

Buffy gave her new life several more days, just to be sure she wasn’t going to be snatched back into her bed in England, before she approached Giles and told him she had something to talk to him about.

“In private, Giles. I don’t want anybody else to know about this until after you’ve had time to research it.”

He looked at her curiously, but agreed and quietly suggested that Willow and Xander take advantage of the nice afternoon to go for a long walk. Her two friends looked somewhat hurt, but the prospect of an afternoon somewhere besides the musty library was too much to resist, even for Willow.

As soon as they had gone, Giles turned to Buffy and indicated one of the comfortable chairs in his office.

“I presume you are now prepared to tell me why you seem to know more about William the Bloody and his possible activities than his own grandsire does?” he said mildly.

“Can’t put anything by you, can I?” She smiled back at him with affection.

“I am fairly certain you ‘put things by me’ at regular intervals,” he commented dryly. “However, in this case, I have definitely identified a few glaring discrepancies that I should like to have explained. If you don’t mind.”

“Such as?” she asked, putting off the explanation as long as possible.

“Such as how and why you know Spike, and why you seem so sure he cannot hurt you. Such as when you became so adept at your calling that you could take on four vampires at a time and still maintain an unrelated conversation with your friends...”

Buffy gave a guilty start as she remembered taking Xander with her on patrol the other night and toying with the inexperienced fledglings they found while she talked and joked with him. She made a note to herself that she should not take things quite so casually in the future as she had noticed that this body was not as strong as the one she was accustomed to.

“And why your mother made a phone call to me this morning demanding that I tell Principal Snyder that you are the Slayer and he is to stop harassing you!”

“Whoops?” Buffy offered meekly by way of apology.

The older man continued to glare at her until she took a deep breath and let it out forcefully.

“Okay, here goes. But you have to promise not to wig on me, ‘K?”

“Fine,” he muttered, “There will be no ‘wigging.’ ”

“Several nights ago I went to bed in my room, just like I always do,” she began.

When her watcher continued to look at her expectantly, she paused and then added. “My bedroom is in London, in a very large house that you own.”   
While Giles stared at her incredulously, she added, “And it was September 20, 2003.”

She leaned back in her chair to watch the inevitable removal and rapid polishing of his glasses. When he had put them back on his face and clasped his hands in front of him, he was finally able to talk; although, “Good Lord”, was all he could manage.

She saw him visibly control himself and go into research mode as he began firing questions at her.

When they had established that she was really in her twenties, had been the slayer for seven years before retiring -- Buffy was keeping her explanations as simple as possible to begin with and she left out the multiple Slayers – and had no idea what had happened to her, he stopped and just looked at her.

“A slayer who lives into her twenties.” He shook his head. “You’re a miracle.”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” she smirked without explanation.

He shot her a suspicious look, but didn’t ask her to elaborate. Instead he put his head on his hands and thought hard for several minutes. When he raised his head, she could see that he had accepted the situation and was already exploring options.

“While I am sure there is much you could tell me, beginning with how and why you seem to know Spike so well…” He didn’t miss the blush that went into her youthful cheeks and mentally groaned. “I feel it is not in anyone’s best interests for you to tell us very much about the future until we know why you are here.”

“That’s what I figured,” she said, nodding. “If this is an alternate dimension, or just a really, really long and often boring dream, then it probably doesn’t matter what I do to change things. But, if I’m really in my past, then anything I do could cause—”

“Anything you do could potentially change the world,” he finished for her.

“Well, yeah.”

“So, the safest thing to do right now, is for you to proceed just as you would have/did the first time around.” He peered at her over his glasses as he asked, “You have been sticking to the same scenarios, have you not?”

Buffy blushed again, and decided he didn’t need to know about her molesting Spike on the floor of the school hallway.

“Well, I told my mom last night about me being the Slayer – in my world, I didn’t do that until after... until much later in the year. And I’ve had this conversation with you,” she added brightly.

Not to be deterred from his need to know, Giles persisted, “And Spike? What happened in your time when you fought him the first time?”

“Uh, pretty much the same thing,” she said, blushing furiously again. “Except, in my time I wasn’t as good a fighter yet and he....”

“He beat you,” he said flatly.

Buffy pouted, but admitted, “Well, he got lucky. But my mom hit him with the axe and he ran away.”

Giles breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Right then, that probably won’t affect anything in this timeline. You’ll just have to be careful not to meet him again until....”

Something on Buffy’s face stopped him.

“Unless, of course, you have already faced him again.” He looked at her anxiously.

“Uh, not in the fighting sense, no. But I did talk to him last night for a few minutes.”

“You TALKED to him?”

“Um, yeah?”

“You spoke to William the Bloody. As in, had a conversation.” His voice was full of disbelief. “And you both walked away again? Did neither of you want the other dead?”

Buffy took a deep breath and calmed herself as she remembered how Giles had conspired with Robin Wood to kill Spike.

“I think the jury is still out on that for Spike just now.” She met his eyes and said with complete honesty, “But I do not want him dusted. Ever.”

“I presume you have a good reason for that remarkably irresponsible attitude?”

His words reminded Buffy that his man worked for the organization that insisted on teaching Slayers that all demons were evil, to be eliminated on sight, and that, even without having met Angelus yet, he was unlikely to trust one just on her say so.

“I have several good reasons, actually,” she said in her best adult Slayer voice. “Several very important reasons. And that’s all I’m going to say about it until we know what’s going on with me and why I’m here.”

The man studied the young girl sitting across from him and realized what he had been missing for the past week. This was not the giddy teenager he had been working with for the past year or more. While the body sitting there was undoubtedly only sixteen years old, the poise, demeanor, attitude and, most importantly, the eyes were those of a much older girl. They were the eyes of a woman who had suffered and grown wise in the process.

It finally hit him what it could mean to have a Slayer with over seven years of experience and knowledge working on the hellmouth and he leaned back in his chair and relaxed.

“Very well, Buffy. Until we actually know if the information you have for us can create problems, I will trust you on this matter. However, in view of what Angel has to say about Spike’s love of bloodshed, I cannot promise to ignore him for long.”

Buffy snorted slightly and said, “Not everything Angel says is the complete truth, you know. He edits things to make himself look better.”

Once again, Giles looked at her in complete shock.

“Forgive me, but I understood that you and Angel... not that I approve of the relationship... but are you not in love with him? And he with you?”

Buffy sighed and slumped in her chair. “It’s complicated, Giles. Let’s just say that, while I will always have a place in my heart for Angel, I did eventually outgrow my teenage crush. And, there are... extenuating circumstances that make it impossible for us to be together anyway.”

“These circumstances would be more of the things I shouldn’t know about yet?”

“Oh, yeah. Big time,” she said, shuddering at the thought of telling Giles his budding romance with Ms. Calendar was going to be ended in a very unpleasant way by Angelus.

“Well then, it appears that I need to begin researching this situation immediately. What can you tell me about your activities leading up to finding yourself here?”

“Not much besides what I told you. I said good night to Willow and went to—Oh my god! Willow! I’m going to kill her!”

Giles raised his eyebrows, shocked at her vehemence toward her best friend.

“Willow?” he asked. “What does Willow have to do with it?”

“Oh, I’m gonna guess, pretty much everything!”

Still confused, Giles continued to look at her warily.

“She must have done a spell – and, as usual....”

“A spell? Willow?”

Buffy blew out an exasperated breath. “Oh yeah, Willow and spells? Sometimes not so mixy.”

“Are you saying Willow sent you back here? On purpose?”

“I doubt she was trying to send me back here. I’m sure she was trying to help me... I wasn’t a very happy person. And I was....” Buffy agonized over how much she could safely tell her watcher. “Let’s just say she was probably trying make me happy and this is the result.”

Giles shook his head in wonder. “Willow... who would have... well, I’ll have to start training her. Magic is nothing to fool around with unprepared. She could cause all sorts of....” his voice trailed off as he looked at Buffy’s rueful grin.

“D’ya think?” she said wryly. Then she shrugged and added, “It doesn’t really matter that we know she did it. The question still is, what did she do? I really don’t have any great desire to relive the next six years of my life. At least not some parts of it. But I’m afraid to do anything to change it. I’m afraid of what will happen to the future.”

“Quite right,” Giles agreed. “However, if you are from an alternate dimension, then any actions you take here would have no effect on your original dimension and you could perhaps avoid some of the more painful things that occurred.”

When he saw Buffy’s hopeful joy at that thought, he hastened to add, “But we must be extremely careful until we know that for sure. And, that will include your interactions with Spike; whatever your... relationship... might be with him in the future, right now he is your mortal enemy. A creature that has slain two Slayers. Do be careful, Buffy.”

“I will. Don’t worry. I don’t want to have to dust him to save my life. And Giles?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t underestimate what Willow can do with magic.”

The older man understood immediately that he was being given a cryptic warning and he nodded his head in acknowledgement.

 

 **Chapter Five**

Buffy wandered toward her home, basking in the warm sunshine – something she really missed, living in London – and enjoying the sense of having no pressing duties. She knew she needed to patrol later that night, but she also knew that, except for Spike, there was nothing in Sunnydale at this particular time that she couldn’t take down easily.

Thinking of Spike reminded her of Giles’ warning to be careful around him and she sighed as she acknowledged the truth to his warning.

 _This isn’t my Spike. Either because the things that made him mine haven’t happened yet, or because we’re in another dimension where our lives are different. Either way, if I let him get too close, he might decide to drain me before he falls in love._

She kicked at a rock in her frustration at being so close to him again and not being able to be with him.

 

After Giles had studied interdimensional spells, time travel spells and whatever else he could think of that might give them a clue, he called Buffy into his office again to discuss their options.

“As I see it, the only way we will know if this is your past, or an alternate timeline, is to carefully examine everything that has happened here so far, including anything you have done differently so far. I need to know as much as you feel you can safely tell me about what would be happening right now the past that you remember.”

Buffy wrinkled her brow in thought and then ventured. “In my time, Spike would be working on setting up a ritual to heal Drusilla, using Angel’s blood. He would have hired the Order of Taraka to kill me...” She broke off at Giles’ explosive, “Good Lord!”

“Hey, don’t sweat it – I took—okay, never mind. Oh! I almost forgot! Kendra!”

“Kendra?”

“Yes, she’s another slayer. She was called when the Master killed me for a minute last year. She should be showing up here any time now....” Her voice trailed off as she remembered how short Kendra’s career as a Slayer had been.

Giles looked at the sad expression on her face and made a mental note not to get too attached to Kendra, if and when she showed up. The realty of Buffy’s position suddenly hit him and he cringed inside for the girl he was already coming to think of as a surrogate daughter.

 _Dear Lord! She knows what’s going to happen to everyone around her! Who will live, who will die and how and when. What a burden to carry! And here I am telling her not to do anything to change it._

He looked at Buffy with new-found sympathy and said gently, “We will sort this out soon, Buffy. I promise. I know it must be frustrating to know that certain things will happen if you don’t stop them, but....”

“Giles. There are some things I just don’t think I can let happen. I don’t think I’m strong enough to stand by and watch.... There are just some things I don’t want to go through a second time. Or to watch someone else go through, for that matter,” she said enigmatically with a quick glance at him.

When she began her patrol that evening, she went by herself, leaving Xander and Willow to wonder what was going on with their friend. She had yet to tell anyone but Giles about her situation and the strain of pretending to be a high school junior was telling on her.

She had been avoiding the run-down industrial part of town, thinking that she would have less chance of running into Spike if she stayed away from the factory. She knew he’d taken over the Master’s minions and was technically the Master of Sunnydale right now, but she also knew he was spending more time worrying about curing Drusilla than he was killing her.

“It’s too bad,” she mused aloud as she walked through the cemetery, “I could use a good fight with Spike to take the edge off.”

“Be careful what you wish for, little girl,” she heard behind her and whirled to find the blond vamp aiming a kick at her head. She just slipped past his foot, her eyes lighting up as he followed it with a series of punches that she blocked easily.

For over an hour, they fought their way through the graveyard, dodging thrown tombstones, and leaping from crypt to crypt. Buffy’s blood was singing as they punched and kicked their way from one side of the cemetery to another. Neither one was able to get or keep the upper hand long enough to get a kill. In Buffy’s case, her intimate knowledge of Spike’s fighting style was somewhat mitigated by the weaker body she was using.

 _That and the fact that I don’t want to kill him_ she thought wryly as she passed up another chance to end the battle permanently.

After a while, she realized that Spike wasn’t really trying all that hard to kill her either. She could tell from the look on his face that he was enjoying every minute of the battle and she gave him one of her dazzling smiles when he laughed in appreciation of a particularly clever series of moves.

As the fight wore on, becoming less of a battle to the death and more of a sparring match, they slowed down until they were barely registering the weaker and weaker blows they exchanged.

Finally, the vampire raised his hands in the classic sign of surrender and said, “Time out, pet. What do you say?”

“Fine with me,” she answered, immediately sitting down to lean against the side of a crypt. With a sudden start, she realized she was leaning against the door of the one Spike would later choose to live in. She reached behind her and ran her hand lightly over the door she had kicked open so many times; then flinched when she felt him sit down beside her.

“So, Slayer,” he said, leaning his head back against the door with her, “when are you gonna tell me what’s goin’ on here?”

“I... I don’t know what you mean,” she tried in her best “blonde” voice. “We’re enemies and we’re fighting. Except now we’re not... fighting, that is. Now we’re resting and then maybe we’ll be fighting again, and....”

She stopped when she saw that he was giving her one of his skeptical raised eyebrow looks that said “I see right through you, Slayer.”

“Not buying that, huh?” she said with a sigh.

“Not even rentin’ it, pet.” He pulled a cigarette out of the pocket of his duster and casually lit it.

“How’s Dru?” she asked abruptly, looking for a change of subject.

Spike choked on the smoke as he was blindsided by her not only knowing that Dru was with him, but that she was sick. He looked at her hard, but didn’t comment or answer her question.

“I’m not going to let you do it, you know,” she remarked casually, as though they had been discussing the ritual all along.

“Don’t try to stop me,” he warned, amazed to find that he really didn’t want her to try to stop him because he didn’t want to have a reason to kill her.

“It’s my job,” she said quietly, then added after a long pause, “And I can’t let you hurt Angel”

“Fuck your job!” he exploded. “And fuck the bloody poof, too. He owes her.”

“He probably does,” she admitted, “But I can’t let you have him, regardless.”

“Do you love him?”

The question surprised both of them, but having asked it, Spike waited stubbornly for her answer. Buffy thought hard before responding.

“I... it’s complicated.”

He snorted derisively. “ ‘S nothin’ complicated about love, Slayer. Either you do or you don’t.”

She rolled her head over to look at his angry face and couldn’t resist running her hand down one knife-edged cheekbone. She felt him start and then shiver under her touch. She made herself look into his confused eyes as she said softly, “I do.”

“I want to kill you. You know that, don’t you?” he blurted, unsure of what was making him so angry, but knowing it had everything to do with her loving Angel and nothing to do with her being the Slayer.

“You won’t,” she said simply, dropping her hand.

“You sure about that, luv?” He tried for a cocky smirk, but it didn’t quite come off.

She nodded her head, saying softly, “I know you, Spike.”

“Bloody hell, woman! Will you stop saying that! How the hell do you know me? You just met me! I don’t know YOU!”

“I know you don’t,” she said sadly. “But you will,” she added so low that no one but a vampire would have been able to hear her.

“Is that a threat or promise, Slayer?” he asked, never taking his eyes off hers. Without being aware he was doing it, his hand came up to push a stand of hair off her face and he caught his breath when she closed her eyes briefly.

“I guess it’s a bit of both,” she admitted with a shaky laugh as she forced herself to move away from him and stand up.

He kipped to his feet, but the comeback he’d been preparing never left his lips as a Faryl demon grabbed him from behind and tried to wrench his head off. Buffy managed to get one good punch in, enough to make the demon let go of Spike’s head, before she was grabbed herself and had no more time to see what was happening to Spike.

She had no weapons with her but her stake, which she knew wouldn’t do much more than irritate a Faryl. She soon found herself with her back to the crypt door and the vampire snarling and snapping beside her as they tried to fight off the pack of large, angry demons.

“What did you do to make these guys mad?” she gasped, kicking and punching in an effort to keep them at a distance.

“Me? What did I do? It was probably you. You’re the bloody Slayer, aren’t you?” he snarled back, slashing at the face of the nearest one with his claws.

They didn’t speak again, the only sounds being the whump! of punches landing and the snarling of the vampire and the demons. Buffy got as close as she could to him without interfering with their fighting and whispered, “I don’t think we’re winning.”

“No shit,” he growled back. “You’re all ‘save-the-world-girl’, what do you think we should do about it?”

Checking that the outer door was ajar, she edged back against it and pushed lightly on the inner door to be sure it would open; then nudged Spike and said, “Let’s duck in here.”

“And be trapped? No thank you, Slayer.”

“Trust me?” she asked meekly.

"I should have my head examined,” he growled as he nodded at her and rushed the demons, pushing them back briefly to allow her to open the door and slip inside. At her hissed, “Now!” he jumped back into the crypt while she slammed the door shut and leaned against it.

“Uh, Spike? Little help here?”

He grabbed a sarcophagus and dragged it over to lean against the bulging door.

“That’s not gonna hold ‘em long,” he growled.

“It doesn’t need to. Come on,” she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the back of the crypt. When he saw her wrestling the top off another sarcophagus, he rushed to help and was soon looking down into what appeared to be a room under the crypt.

He arched an eyebrow at her, but didn’t waste time asking how she knew about the room. He just jumped down, using his enhanced vampire senses to see in the dark room. Then he turned and looked up at her.

“All clear, Slayer. Come on. I’ll catch you.”

Buffy climbed over the side of the sarcophagus and dropped lightly down, only to find herself caught just off the ground by a pair of strong arms. They both froze, bodies just barely touching, while they listened to the sounds of the Faryls trying to push the door open.

“We should hide,” she whispered. “They’ll notice the open coffin.”

“They’re mean, but they’re stupid,” he replied, inhaling the scent coming from her hair. Without meaning to, he found himself nuzzling her ear and he heard her heart beat speed up as he neared her neck.

“Not gonna bite you, luv,” he murmured as he ran his lips down to the spot just below her ear. He gently licked the spot with his tongue and when she gasped, he smiled and said, “Now I know somethin’ about you, Slayer.”

Buffy smacked him lightly on the chest, then allowed her hand to linger on the hard muscles she found there. She was finding it almost impossible to be in such close proximity to him and remember that his affections belonged to someone else.

She was just steeling herself to push him away, when they heard the door being pushed open. Spike drew her back into the rear of the cavern and into a crevice in the wall, pushing her in ahead of him so that his leather clad back was the only thing exposed to the open room. His hands were resting on the wall on either side of her head, and his head was bent down toward hers. She could feel his cool breath on her face and knew if she looked up their mouths would be only centimeters apart.

Spike heard her heart rate skyrocket and wondered what the cause was. He wasn’t getting any sense of fear off her; if anything she was excited. When he smelled her arousal, he almost groaned at the effect it had on him.

So slowly that she was barely moving, Buffy brought her head up until she was looking blindly toward his face, knowing he could probably see her, even though the darkness was complete to her less sensitive eyes. She sensed rather than saw him moving his mouth toward hers and suppressed a whimper when he stopped just short of her lips to whisper, “What are you doin’ to me, Slayer?”

In response, she lifted her chin slightly and touched her lips to his. She could feel his fangs and knew he was still in game face, but she persisted with the kiss anyway, ignoring the small nicks in her lips from his razor sharp canines. She felt a shudder go through him when tiny drops of her blood oozed out onto his questing tongue.

Suddenly his arms were around her and she was being pressed against his body as he deepened the kiss, heedless of the damage his fangs were doing to her lips and tongue.

This was new to Buffy. As violent as their lovemaking could be, and often had been, Spike had never let his demon out when he was with her. It surprised her to find that the reminder of what he really was excited her more than she wanted to admit. While he sucked on her bleeding lips with a groan, she slid her hands under his tee shirt and stroked the smooth skin on his back, taking advantage of his distraction to caress him the way she’d been wanting to.

When she pushed his shirt up and pulled her mouth away to fasten it on one of his hard nipples, he hissed and clutched her arms. She teased him with her tongue and lips, nipping gently on the pebbled tip until he was growling so loud she was afraid the Faryls would hear.

“Like that, don’t you?” she breathed, pulling back from him and putting her hands on his chest.

“You know I do,” he growled, trying to pull her into another kiss.

“Yeah,” she agreed softly, “I know you do.”

She pushed him gently away from her and was surprised when he didn’t resist. As they eased out of the crevice, they could hear the snarling Faryls stomping out of the crypt and soon there was only silence overhead.

“I love Dru,” he said angrily, as though she was going to argue with him about it.

“I know you do,” she replied, stroking his face.

“Then what the bloody hell are you doing to me? Has the great poof got you so horny you have to hit on the first convenient vampire?”

She flinched, both at his tone and the words that reminded her that once again, she was taking what she wanted from him without thinking about what he might want.

Spike was able to see the flinch, even in the complete darkness of the room, and started to apologize, then got furious at himself for it.

 _What is this girl doing to me? I’m leavin’ my dark princess with minions to follow a Slayer around. A Slayer who somehow knows where and how to touch me to make me crave her._

His words, and the resulting guilt she felt, were enough to douse the heat between them and she turned away saying, “I think we can leave now. You can get back to your... girl friend, and I can—“

“And you can get back to the all-so-soulful Angelus,” he growled, not sure why that bothered him so much. “As horny as you are, I’m surprised the two of you aren’t shaggin’ like bunnies.”

Buffy cringed at his cruel words, but she was grateful for the reminder of just who this Spike was at this time.

 _Note to self – teasing the vampire is fun; getting to close to him before he’s ready – not such a good idea._

She let her fist fly into his nose and as he grabbed it with a curse, she said coldly, “Trust me, Spike. You really don’t want that to happen.”

She whirled, not even worrying about turning her back on the angry vampire, and leapt upward to grab the edge of the entrance and pull herself up. Without looking back, she marched out of the crypt and headed for home, grumbling to herself the whole time.

“I’d almost forgotten what a pig he was before he got the soul. Damn stupid vampire. Would serve him right if I did sleep with Angel. That’d show him what a ‘ho Dru is. I could warn Jenny... we could just avoid Angelus until Willow gets the spell ready and.... oh my God! I’m seriously considering sleeping with Angel! What is wrong with me?”

Spike remained in the crypt until he was sure she was gone, his mind whirling. He looked around frantically, desperate for something to throw or break to relief his frustration. He couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to put his mouth on the Slayer’s neck and not bite her. Instead of killing her so she couldn’t interfere with curing his dark princess, he’d ended up kissing her. Thinking about kissing her reminded him of the blood he’d swallowed from her savaged lips and tongue and he groaned at the memory of its sweet, powerful taste and the effect it had on him.

In spite of the bitter words that followed the kissing, and the subsequent abuse to his nose, he was still sporting the erection he’d had since they started fighting hours ago. With a muffled curse, he unzipped his pants and wrapped his cool hand around the hard shaft and pulled vigorously until he found some small release. He tried loyally to think about his lovely Drusilla, but as friction caused his hand and cock to warm up, all he could picture was the Slayer’s hot little hand touching him and as he came it was the word “Slayer” that hissed through his lips.

He bounded up to the crypt without touching the sides at all and stormed out of the graveyard, desperate for something to kill.

 

 **Chapter Six**

Buffy spent the next few days waiting anxiously for Giles to come up with an answer as to where she was and how she got there, but he was still stymied in his search. He was coming perilously close to contacting the Council and explaining the situation to them, but Buffy was adamant that they not be told anything about it unless absolutely necessary.

“I don’t understand you, Buffy. The Council exists to support its Slayers. Why aren’t you willing to go to them for help?”

“I have one word for you, Giles. Cruciamentum.” She turned her back on him, but not so quickly that she didn’t see him blanch.

“Oh dear Lord, I had completely forgotten that if you have reached your twenties then you have already survived—”

“No thanks to you or your precious Council,” she interrupted bitterly.

Giles was left mute while he contemplated again the things this woman had gone through and the things she knew. He determined to see how much information he could get from the Council without actually telling them what was going on. Buffy assured him that the newly called Slayer would be showing up in Sunnydale any day, and he decided her arrival would be a good opportunity to address the issues with the Council.

When he reminded Buffy of Kendra’s impending arrival, she turned pale and said, “Oh my gosh! Angel! I forgot about him!”

Where in her time line, she and Angel were together almost every night for at least a little while, in this one she was avoiding him as much as possible so as not to lead him on to expect more than she was willing to give him. In spite of her angry muttering when she left Spike, she had no intention of having sex with Angel – birthday or no birthday.

She racked her brain to come up with the exact date or time of Kendra’s arrival as she hurried to Angel’s apartment to warn him about the other Slayer. When she got there, she could see that she was almost too late. Kendra had already locked Angel in the storage room with the window facing the sun.

After a fight that lasted a much shorter period of time, again due to Buffy’s experience and creativity, she and Kendra had their stand-off about who was the Slayer and took themselves off to let Giles sort it out.

When they got to the library, Willow and Xander were also there and the redhead’s face lit up when she saw Buffy. Willow was so glad to see her that Buffy realized guiltily she had not been spending the time with her best friend that she would have if she were really sixteen. Since she didn’t need Willow’s help with her schoolwork, and didn’t want either of them around when she patrolled, both Xander and Willow were wondering what was going on with their friend.

“Hey, guys,” she greeted them cheerily, “I’m sorry I’ve been all self-absorbed, avoido-girl lately. How about we make up for our missing buddy time by Bronzing it tonight? We can show Kendra what Sunnydale has to offer.”

“Uh, Buffy? You sure you want to do that?” Xander snarked. “Might drive her right back to Jamaica, or wherever.”

Buffy saw how Kendra had blushed and stammered every time Xander spoke to her and she determined to bring the sheltered Slayer some small measure of happiness while she was with them. Once again, the inevitability of the things she was expected to just let happen sent her stomach into knots.

 _Let’s see – if I never sleep with Angel, he never loses his soul, so he doesn’t go back to Dru and Spike, so they don’t break up, so Dru has no reason to come looking for Kendra... but I want them to break up. If she doesn’t hurt Spike by sleeping with Angel.... Gah! This is making my head hurt!_

Telling Giles she needed him to give her some kind of decision by tomorrow, Buffy left with her friends, dragging a reluctant Kendra along to her house to get ready for their night out.

She introduced Kendra to her mother, glossing over the way Kendra came to be called, and hustled her upstairs to her room for major make-over time. While Kendra was playing with the makeup on Buffy’s dressing table, the Slayer was looking over her wardrobe and trying to find something that would be sexy without being slutty looking.

She also dipped in to the new underwear she’d purchased to replace all the plain cotton panties in her drawer. She hoped her mother wouldn’t freak out at the addition of a couple of thongs and some lacy bikinis to her boring underwear.

She dressed in a matching set of black lace panties and a black lace push up bra under a low cut red blouse and black skirt. Telling herself she was not dressing in Spike’s favorite colors for any reason other than lack of anything else to wear, she added a pair of black, strappy sandals that showed off her tanned legs.

They hadn’t been in the Bronze long enough for their drinks to get warm when Buffy felt the tingles that warned of an approaching vampire of some power. She tensed up, then relaxed when she recognized Angel’s signature. She could tell from the disgruntled look on Xander’s face that Angel was approaching the table. She could also see Kendra tensing up as she sensed the vampire’s approach, but the new Slayer managed to remain in her seat. Buffy could see the girl was fighting every instinct that was screaming at her to defend herself.

She glared coldly at Angel, but refrained from trying to stake him, muttering to herself instead about how unnatural it was to socialize with a vampire. Sensing a kindred spirit, Xander moved his chair closer to the grumbling Slayer and offered to keep her company.

Angel stood awkwardly for several minutes before touching Buffy’s shoulder and saying softly, “May I talk to you for a minute, Buffy?”

“Sure, Angel,” she said with a warm smile. “Why don’t we dance while we talk?”

As they took the floor, she stood on her toes and reached her arms up around his neck. As warm and familiar as he felt, she was very conscious of the size difference between them and the awkwardness of their dancing.

“Buffy,” he began. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I know there is something. You’re so... different, all of a sudden. Have made you mad somehow?”

She sighed and leaned into him. “No, Angel, I’m not mad at you. I just... I can’t tell you just yet. Can you just trust me for a little while longer?”

“I would find that a lot easier to do if I thought you trusted me,” he said with almost a whine in his voice. “You can tell me anything, Buffy. You know that.” He looked at her mournfully.

 _Yeah, right. I should tell you that if we sleep together next month Angelus will come back, That you’re going to kill Giles’ girlfriend to keep her from returning your soul. That I’m going to send you to a hell dimension to save the world from your insanity. And that, years from now I’m going to be sleeping with Spike and I’ve come back to make that happen sooner. Oh yeah, that’ll go well._

Instead, she looked at him with as much compassion as she could find in her heart and said softly, “I promise. I’ll tell you as soon as Giles figures out that I can.” _IF I can, that is_. She mentally crossed her fingers.

Angel sat with them for a while, refusing, as usual, to drink or eat anything the humans did. He and Buffy danced a few more times, and she allowed herself to enjoy his affection without feeling any trace of desire or passion for him. It was obvious that what sixteen-year-old Buffy found mysterious and sexy, much older Buffy found uninteresting and attractive only in a very platonic way.

When his tentative nuzzling at Buffy’s ear and attempts to hold her pressed against him were not getting him any response, the vampire gave a sad sigh and said “good night” so that he could go home to brood.

Willow looked curiously at Buffy and whispered, “Why is Angel leaving so early? Did you guys have a fight?”

Buffy could see that Willow was all prepared to be supportive and realized with a start of surprise that her relationship with Angel had required a lot of support from her friends. At the time, the drama of “Does he love me?” “Do I love him?” had seemed very natural. Now it just seemed silly. She didn’t love him. Not in the same way she loved Spike, and she had no intention of leading him on and letting him think they were going to have a relationship.

She smiled at Willow and just whispered back, “No, we’re fine. I’m just not as interested in him romantically as I used to be.”

She shook her head at Willow’s shocked look and said, “I’ll be able to explain it soon.”

 _I hope I will, anyway!_

When she once again felt the tell-tale tingle on her neck, she sighed in exasperation and looked around to see where Angel was lurking. She saw Kendra stiffen beside her and as the other slayer also began to look around, Buffy suddenly recognized the signature as Spike’s. She leapt to her feet and, pushing Kendra down into her chair with an, “I’ll take care of this. You just stay here and have a good time,” she cast around until she figured out from which direction the signal was the strongest.

She moved through the crowded bar, searching for the source of the tingle and fighting down the less vampire-related tingles that were traveling from her neck down to her hardening nipples and other suddenly aching body parts. She stopped on the edge of the crowd, near the stairs, searching for Spike and hoping Kendra would stay put.

When she felt his cool breath on her neck and his arms around her body, she leaned back into him and laughed softly when he twitched in surprise. Obviously he had expected her to be surprised and, if not frightened, at least startled. She turned around in his arms and looked up at him from under her eyelashes. Again, she had to remind herself that this was still an evil vampire and that he was probably here for a snack, not to see her.

“What are you doing here, Spike?” she demanded in her best Slayer voice, even as her hands were stroking the soft fabric of his tee shirt just above the waistband of his pants. She felt rather than heard him hiss and he dropped his hands from her arms and backed away.

“I’m lookin’ for my dinner, Slayer. What do you think I’m doin’?” he growled, adjusting himself in his jeans.

“You know I’m not going to let you kill anyone here tonight, don’t you?” she said, looking at him as coldly as she could while fighting the urge to push him back under the stairs and climb up his body.

“That right, pet? And how do you propose to stop me?”

He cocked his head and gave her one of his best smirks. Running his eyes appreciatively down her body, he continued, “You don’t look like you’re dressed for fightin’. More like you’re trying to seduce some poor ponce. What’s the matter? The great poof not gettin’ the message?”

“You’re a pig, Spike.” It was so automatic, she didn’t even notice that it was the first time she’d said it in this time.

He just grinned and nodded. “You have no idea, pet.”

“Actually, I do.” She smiled at him, her disgust forgotten as she got another chance to needle the cocky vampire.

She was rewarded with flashing yellow eyes as he threw his arms up in the air and snarled, “Don’t start that ‘I know you’ shit again, Slayer. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Really? You don’t?” She allowed a little touch of disbelief and hurt into her tone and he responded immediately.

“Not unless you’re going to explain it to me, I don’t,” he responded, dropping the snarl for a sulky tone.

Buffy sighed and wondered how many times she was going to have to make this promise and to how many people before Giles decided it was safe for her come clean with her friends and lovers.

She couldn’t resist gently touching her finger to his pouting lower lip as she said, “I promise, as soon as I think it’s safe, I’ll tell you as much as I can.”

Without thinking, the vampire pulled her finger into his mouth and bit down gently with his blunt human teeth. When he reached to touch her lower lip, Buffy pulled his finger into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it while sucking gently.

“Bloody hell!” he groaned, pulling her back into the shadows of the stairway and wrapping his arms around her. “What are you doing to me, Slayer?”

“Nothing you don’t want me to. I promise,” she whispered, burying her nose in his neck and inhaling the scent of whiskey, tobacco, leather and Spike. “What do you want me to do?”

Her warm breath on his neck was making his jeans very uncomfortable and her scent was filing his senses as he responded in spite of himself.

“Want you to touch me, Slayer. Just touch me.” He trembled with the effort it took not to sink his fangs into her soft skin and taste again the elixir that was her blood. He didn’t know why this Slayer seemed to be trying to kill him with sexual frustration, but he was past the point of caring. All he could think about was feeling her incredible heat on his cool skin.

Instead of pulling away and calling him a pig again, as he fully expected, she slid her hand down and cupped the bulge he couldn’t hide. He hissed when he felt her hand on him, and groaned when she squeezed gently.

When she began to rub and squeeze him the way she knew he wanted, he couldn’t stop himself from whispering desperate encouragement in her ear.

“Ah, that’s it, luv. Feels so good. Wonderful little hands you have, Slayer. Want you to—bloody, buggering fuck!”

Buffy had used her other hand to pull down his zipper and suddenly his bare cock was enveloped in her hands and she was stroking him to the accompaniment of his rasping breaths. It had been a couple of years, but she remembered exactly what it took to bring him to a shuddering release. She ran her thumb over the head of his cock, spreading the pre-cum down the side so that her hand would slide more easily.

The vampire was gripping the side of the stairway over her head, his long leather coat hiding them from casual view. When Buffy felt his hips beginning to thrust into her hands, she couldn’t resist reaching up to fasten her lips on his as, with a strangled cry, he came in her hands. While Spike pumped the last of his spendings into Buffy’s hands he allowed himself to enjoy the feel of her warm, supple lips on his. This kiss was very different from the rough, violent one they’d shared when he was in vamp face.

This time, she was free to run her tongue around the inside of his lips, lightly over his teeth and to pull his tongue into her mouth to suck on it. He could feel himself becoming hard again as the Slayer moaned against his mouth and pressed up against him, murmuring his name.

Suddenly she pulled back and put one hand to her mouth in shock.

“Oh, oh, God, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to....” Her eyes darted around the space frantically, and she tried to tuck his newly hard cock back into his pants. “I just meant to...I’m sorry, Spike.”

The more she pushed on him, the larger and harder he became and he finally grabbed her hands and said gruffly, “If you’re trying to put it away, pet, you’re gonna have to keep those hot little hands off it.”

Blushing furiously, she started apologizing again until he stopped her with a surprisingly gentle hand on her lips.

“Don’t know what the hell you’re apologizing for, Slayer. That was the best hand job I’ve ever had in my un-life. It’s like you knew every...Fuck! “ He stopped and glared at her. His tone changed entirely and she was suddenly very aware that she was standing in the dark with a master vampire and no stake hidden in her skimpy clothes.

He gripped her arms so hard she knew she was going to have bruises the next day and he ground out between his teeth, “I want to know what the hell is going on. Now.”

Buffy shook her head, whether at herself for giving in to the urge to be with him in some way or in answer to his demand she wasn’t sure. She was pretty sure this vampire didn’t care how much she used his body for sex, but the feeling of taking something he hadn’t agreed to give her was too familiar for her to feel good about what she’d done.

She’d only intended to get close enough to keep her scent on him and remind him she existed. She studied his face as well as she could in the dim light to see if he was disgusted with her behavior, but all she saw was anger and confusion.

“I... I’m sorry,” she repeated again, still shaking her head. She brought her eyes up to meet his. “You must think I’m the worst ho, ever.”

“Got to admit, it’s not what I expect of the virtuous Chosen One,” he agreed wryly. “But something’s going on here. Something between us. And you know what it is. You DO know me, Slayer. And I want to know how.”

“To... tomorrow night. I promise. I’ll tell you tomorrow night. No matter what Giles says. I promise,” she added when he didn’t release her arms immediately.

Instead of responding, he loosened his grip and began rubbing her arms lightly as though to sooth the marks left from his fingers. When he realized what he was doing, he snatched his hands away and shoved them into his pockets. He stared into her liquid green eyes for a long minute, then nodded abruptly and left in a swirl of black leather.

 

 **Chapter Seven**

When she could no longer feel Spike’s signature in the club, Buffy slowly came out from under the stairs and headed for the ladies room. She leaned over the sink to wash her sticky hands, although part of her wanted to keep the scent of Spike on her as long as she could. Before she put her hands under the running water, she brought them to her face and inhaled the scent he’d left on them.

She remembered when she used to run home from the crypt, desperate to get away from him and his pleading eyes as he tried to coax her into staying in his bed. The nights that she found the pleading too hard to resist, the nights that she weakened and allowed herself to sleep wrapped in his protective, cool embrace, she would wake up feeling the Spike-scented stickiness between her legs and before she was awake enough to remember that she hated him, she would stretch and inhale the heady aroma of their mixed fluids. Then she would remember that she was lying in the arms of a soulless vampire, who couldn’t possibly love her the way he said he did, because – hey! soulless – and she’d jump up, grab her clothes and run home to scrub off any trace of him.

But the nights she ran out of the crypt as soon as she was finished with him, ignoring the pain on his face when she wouldn’t meet his eyes or tell him “good-night”; those nights she would just get into bed without showering and go to sleep surrounded by his scent. She shook her head at her future self, amazed at her ability to deny what her body knew. She’d never once wondered why, if Spike was so unimportant to her, she needed to keep his scent on her if she didn’t have him nearby while she slept.

Knowing Kendra would be wondering what was taking her so long and not wanting to chance the other slayer’s running into Spike, Buffy quickly soaped and rinsed her hands so that she could join her friends. She took a deep breath and plastered her “I’m perky” smile on her face and headed for the table.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Outside the Bronze, Spike stopped to light a cigarette and try to get a grip on what had just happened. He couldn’t deny any longer that when this Slayer said, “I know you,” she was telling the truth. He also couldn’t deny that the way his body responded to her nearness was not completely the result of her knowing when and how to push his buttons.

Snarling with frustration over his lack of information, he strode off toward the warehouse district, stopping only to grab a belligerent drunk for a quick feed and a bonus buzz. He hoped that the minions had fed Dru and that she would be asleep by the time he got back. He knew the last two times he’d gone out he’d come back covered with the scent of the Slayer. He’d been able to pass it off as the close contact involved in fighting with this incredibly strong slayer, but this time the Slayer’s unique and delicious smell was going to be mixed with the unmistakable odor of sex. He knew Dru didn’t love him the way he loved her, but she was capable of tremendous possessiveness, and he had no desire to be subjected to a temper tantrum or a crying fit.

Fortunately, she was sleeping with Miss Edith in her arms, and he was able to stay away until he could get cleaned up and wash the smell of Buffy from his body. When he finally stretched out on the bed next to the woman he’d loved faithfully for over a hundred years, his mind whirled in confusion.

 _I love Dru. She’s my black princess, my wicked plum. Why is this Slayer actin’ like there’s somethin’ between us? I just met the chit and she’s actin’ like I’m some long-lost lover. She’s gonna explain this to me tomorrow or I’m gonna have her for dinner._

As much as he told himself that he was only leading the Slayer on until he got his answers, as much as he insisted to himself that he could kill her at any time, in the back of his mind there was a nagging fear that if it came down to it he wouldn’t be able to drain her. He would drink her blood. There was no doubt about that; he’d never tasted anything as powerful or as arousing as the blood he’d sipped from her cut lips and tongue. But the idea of taking it all and leaving her broken and lifeless just had lost all the appeal it had when he first came to town.

~~~~~~~

The following day Buffy skipped her history class and cornered Giles in the library.

“Giles, I need to know something. Things are going to begin to happen soon. Big, future-changing things that I’m going to have to make decisions about.”

She looked up at him, her big green eyes looking more like the sixteen-year-old he still wanted to believe she was as she pleaded with him to tell her what she wanted to hear.

“Buffy – I don’t know... I don’t know what to tell you. The Watcher in me wants nothing more than to be able to sit down and record everything you can tell me about your life for the next five years, but the idea of knowing what is going to happen to... to people I care about and not being able to stop it….”

He looked at his slayer with sudden understanding.

“Dear Lord. You HAVE been put in an untenable position. What was Willow thinking!” His outrage on her behalf got a smile from Buffy. She wondered how he would react when she told him about being pulled out of Heaven.

“Giles, hear me out on this.” She looked him in the eye and said with every ounce of the confidence that outliving any other Slayer and defeating the First Evil had given her, “I think I was put here for a reason. Whether Willow did the spell or not, I don’t think she was in control of how it went. I think I’ve been given a chance to stop some really, really bad things from happening. I don’t know how the future is going to change, but it can’t be any worse than what I’ve already been through.

“I think instead of worrying about changing things, I should be TRYING to change them. I can stop Angel from losing his soul, Ms Calendar—“ she broke off when she saw the look of horror on her Watcher’s face.

“No, no, Giles! It’s okay. It isn’t going to happen. I swear.”

He sat down with a small “thud” and said in a shaky voice, “Angel loses his soul? Angelus comes back? To Sunnydale? And... and Jenny? Ms. Calendar? What has she to do with this?”

“Get out your best pens and a big pad of paper, Giles. It’s going to be a long afternoon.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

When Buffy had given Giles a rough overview of the things that could potentially happen over the course of the next several months – leaving out exactly what it was that made Angel so happy he lost his soul – they took a break while Buffy got a Coke and he digested the information she’d given him. He went over the notes he’d taken, making note of the items that seemed important enough to risk changing and those that didn’t seem to matter.

He was just about to ask her to clarify some of the things she’d told him about Spike and Drusilla and the ritual to restore the vampiress, when they heard a voice at the door.

“Rupert, I want to—oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company. I’ll come back later.”

“No, Jenny, it’s all right. I’d actually like to hear your opinion about something.” He looked at Buffy for permission to share her story with his girl friend and she nodded her head.

He quickly told her about Buffy’s true age and apparent transport from several years in the future to their time. When he told her about the possibility of Angel’s losing soul, he saw her blanch and hastened to assure her, “It will be all right, Jenny. Buffy feels she knows what caused it and can avoid the situation this time around.”

He turned to his Slayer and asked, “What do you think caused the curse to be broken? Was it something likely to happen?”

“Why don’t we let Ms. Calendar tell you?” Buffy spoke to Giles, but she never took her cold eyes off Jenny Calendar’s puzzled brown ones.

“What? Don’t be absurd, Buffy. What would Jenny – Ms. Calendar know about it?”

One look at the dawning realization on his lover’s face told him she knew exactly what the younger girl was talking about and his face fell.

“Jenny?”

She turned anguished eyes to the gentle man she’d come to care for so much.

“I’m sorry, Rupert. I wanted to tell you, but my uncle....” She took a deep breath and glanced at Buffy’s challenging face before she continued.

“I’m a member of the tribe of gypsies that originally cursed Angelus. I was sent here to see that he continued to suffer. There was some... concern, when he started helping Buffy and appeared to be acquiring a circle of friends, that he was no longer suffering from the soul as much as he was intended to. I am supposed to see to it that he is not happy. To continue the revenge, I suppose although I would think by now he has paid a sufficient—“

“That’s not the only reason,” Buffy interjected angrily. “Your uncle had another reason for wanting you to keep him unhappy – a damned important one!”

The computer teacher looked at the young girl in surprise. “I’m sorry, Buffy. I really do not know what you’re talking about. Perhaps I should have been more forthcoming with you and Rupert about my background, but I don’t see wh—”

“Ms Calendar, what do you think will happen to the curse that is supposed to make Angel miserable if he experiences a moment of true happiness?”

Buffy waited with her arms crossed while the older woman’s face gradually revealed her understanding.

“Oh, dear God. A moment of happiness, and the curse will be broken. He will lose his soul. Angelus will return. No wonder my uncle was so adamant that he remain unhappy.”

“Yeah,” Buffy nodded. “Angelus will return. And, trust me, Ms Calendar; you really don’t want that to happen. And neither do I,” she added softly. “Neither do I.”

Giles stared from one to the other, anxiety and horror on his face.

“Do I even want to know why that is, Buffy?” he asked her directly, clearly referring to her words to the woman he loved.

“I doubt I really need to explain it, Giles. I’m pretty sure you understand why it would be a very bad idea.”

He nodded his head with understanding, unconsciously moving closer to Jenny. He was still incredibly angry that she would have kept such a secret from them, but his fear of losing her was stronger and he put his arm around her tightly.

“I presume you know what caused his moment of happiness in your time?” he said, looking at Buffy with his best Watcher face. “And that you have an idea how to prevent it?”

“Oh yeah,” she grimaced. “Not a problem. No way is he getting—Well, let’s just say, if he gets that happy this time around, it won’t be my fault!”

She saw from the way Jenny’s eyes widened that the other woman got it, but Giles just frowned and said, “Well, good, then. We should be all right this time around.”

Buffy shrugged. “We should be. Unless there’s some big cosmic reason why Angel needed to lose his soul for a while. I don’t think we can just assume that it won’t happen some other way.”

“Right then, we will need to warn everyone to be cautious around him from now on.”

He looked at Buffy intently. “Are you planning to tell him any of this?”

She sighed and shrugged again. “There’s someone else I have to talk to first,” she said enigmatically. “But, yes, I do think we need to bring everyone up to speed on this. At least as far as my being from somewhere or somewhen else is concerned. The strain of pretending to be me at sixteen is getting kinda old.”

The two adults nodded their heads as they tried to imagine what it would be like be trapped in their teen-aged bodies. Both shuddered slightly at the thought and looked at Buffy sympathetically.

“Well, then. Why don’t we plan to meet later tonight and you can tell you story to everyone at once?”

Buffy nodded, saying, “Make it well after dark. I have someone else to talk to first – and I may want him here.”

She said her goodbyes and left before either one could follow up on her cryptic remarks. However, Giles, by no means a stupid man, followed her exit with suspicious eyes. He had an uncomfortable feeling he knew exactly who the other person was.

 **Chapter Eight**

Buffy waited impatiently through the rest of the day. Now that she’d decided to tell everyone, she was anxious to get it over with. But she wanted to keep her promise to Spike first. She wasn’t sure exactly how much she was going to tell him, but at a minimum she knew she had to tell him where she came from and why she knew him so well.

She dressed carefully before leaving for patrol that night in a pair of tight leather pants and a low cut blouse. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and threw a denim jacket over the blouse. She studied her make up critically and added more strawberry flavored gloss before smiling in satisfaction and turning to leave.

She strolled through the cemeteries for over an hour before she felt the tingle that went all the way through her right to her womb. She stopped and sat on a tombstone, waiting for him to make himself known. When she continued to feel him without hearing or seeing him, she huffed impatiently and stood up.

“I thought you wanted to get some answers,” she said loudly. “I have other people to talk to tonight. I can’t wait around here for you to stop playing stalker-guy.”

“I wasn’t stalkin’,” he said coming out of the shadows. “If I was stalkin’ you, you’d have never known I was there.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “I can FEEL you, you big dope. I know when you’re near. You and Angel. I always know when one of you is around. Even if you are hiding.”

“Wasn’t stalkin’,” he stubbornly insisted, with a small pout.

“Fine, you weren’t stalking. What were you doing then?”

He mumbled something that she didn’t catch and she walked closer to him, demanding, “What? You were doing what?”

“I was just watchin’ you. Completely different thing, Slayer.”

“Why were you watching me?”

“You’re pretty,” he mumbled again as he took out a cigarette and tried to appear casual. He had no idea why he’d said such a poncy thing, but when he saw the look on her face he was glad he had. She moved even closer to him and looked up at his face.

“You think I’m pretty?” she asked softly.

 _Think you’re bleedin’ gorgeous, Slayer. Could get lost in your eyes._

Aloud, he said, “Well, for a slayer, you are. ‘S not like you lot are known for your good looks, you know. Most slayers are all about the mission and sod all else. At least you dress like a girl.” He ran appreciative eye over her leather covered legs and ass and leered at her.

“Oh.” She moved away from him again, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.

 _I will NOT apologize to the Slayer. I don’t care if her feelin’s are hurt. I’m s’posed to be hurtin’ her. That’s my job. Slayer of Slayers, that’s me._

Buffy started walking slowly, swinging her stake at her side and the vampire fell into step with her, eyeing the stake carefully.

“So, Slayer, you gonna tell me what this... whatever it is... between us is? What the hell is goin’ on and why you know me so well?”

Buffy gestured to a bench and sat down, looking up at him expectantly. When he continued to stand there staring at her she said wryly, “You might want to be sitting down for this, Spike,” patting the bench beside her.

When he still didn’t sit down she flushed and folded her hands under her armpits.

“I’ll keep my hands to myself,” she promised, not looking at him.

Wondering why that promise didn’t make him as happy as he expected it to, he grudgingly sat down at the end away from her and leaned back.

“Well?” he demanded, pulling angrily on his cigarette. “Tell me what’s goin’ on.”

Buffy took a deep breath, and still not looking at him, she began.

“I don’t know exactly what’s going on. All I really know is that I... I’m not the Buffy Summers who has been living in this – time or reality – for the past sixteen years. I’ve been living a different life somewhere else. Somewhere in which a lot of time has passed since I was in high school. I’m... the me that’s inside... 23 years old. I’ve been a Slayer for well over seven years.”

He didn’t respond, just took another drag on his cigarette and waited for her to go on. When she didn’t, he said mildly, “That’s right old for a Slayer, pet. ‘Splains a lot about why I wasn’t able to kill you, I guess. But it doesn’t explain why you know so much about me. It’s not like I’m plannin’ to stay here any longer than it takes me to get Dru well.”

“Well, in my timeline or realty – we really don’t know which it is yet – you don’t have a lot of choice. You can’t leave. And Dru doesn’t want to.”

“And she gets her way because...?” His tone sounded slightly dangerous and she took a peek at him to try to read his face.

“Because I put you in a wheelchair for four months – and Angel loses his soul.”

She tensed and tightened her grip on her stake as he vamped out and snarled.

“Angelus comes back? Who’s responsible for that little bit of insanity?”

The fact that he was more bothered about Angelus’ reappearance than he was about being crippled told all there was to know about the relationship between the two vampires. Spike had already hated Angelus before he came back and took Dru away from him.

“Uh, me?”

He flicked his cigarette away and stood up again to glare at her.

“So, you cripple me AND you bring back that miserable bastard? Is there any reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now? Save us both a lot of trouble?”

“You shouldn’t because you can’t.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, bitch,” he snarled, moving closer to her. “You might have managed to make my cock sit up and take notice a couple of times, but there’s been nothing between us to keep me from notchin’ up my third Slayer. I can kill you as easily as I could a complete stranger.”

“No, Spike, you can’t,” she said calmly. The fact that she was so confident and unafraid was the only thing that kept him from leaping on her, teeth bared and claws out. “Not because of what we’ve done in this time, but because of how well I know you. I’ve fought you dozens of times in my life. Probably a lot more than that if you count the times you helped me train by sparring with me. This body isn’t quite as strong as the one I’m used to, but it still responds with all the moves I ask it to make. And my moves, Spike? All new to you. Yours? As familiar to me as the palm of my hand.”

She waited to see how his ego would take her flat statement that she could take him whenever she wanted. She did her best to maintain her calm demeanor, but centered herself and stayed ready just in case he didn’t take it well. But then he surprised her by laughing and letting his human face come back.

“So, the other night, you were jus’ playin’ with me?”

“Well, sorta.” She gave him a shy smile. “But I wouldn’t have been able to do that if you hadn’t—“

“Taught you all you know, huh?” he said with a cocky grin.

Buffy rolled her eyes and huffed, “As IF!” but she smiled as she said it.

“Alright, Slayer,” he said, suddenly growing more serious. “That explains why you’re such a brilliant fighter, but it doesn’t explain why you know so much about my other... talents.”

“Ego, much?” She rolled her eyes again. “I don’t remember saying you had talents.”

“Well, there’s gotta be some reason you can’t keep your hands off my tight little body.” He curled his tongue behind his teeth and leaned toward her. “I’m guessin’ there’s a good reason why you know things about turnin’ me on that even Dru doesn’t know. An’ I doubt you’ve been readin’ my diary.”

“You have a diary?” Buffy looked suddenly intrigued, and he rolled his shoulders in irritation.

“It was just a figure of speech, Slayer.”

He was suddenly right in front of her, his keen blue eyes boring into hers.

“Why do you know those things about me, Slayer? Why can my mortal enemy make me hard just by being close enough for me to smell her?”

When Buffy leaned in toward him unconsciously, he added as he bent toward the warm lips just below his mouth, “And why does she want to do those things to one of the evil creatures she was born to kill? Why, Slayer? Why do you want me?”

Their lips met and once again, the world disappeared for both of them as they lost themselves in the taste and feel of each other. Buffy felt his arms tentatively go around her waist and she melted against him allowing him to support her body as she clung to his neck. She felt his desire for her pressing into her stomach and she moaned slightly when he pulled her even closer.

“Bloody hell, luv. Want you so bad... what are you doin’ to me?” he groaned into her ear as he moved his mouth down her neck, leaving wet kisses as he did. When he ran his tongue lightly across her collarbone before dipping down to kiss along the tops of her breasts, she gasped and threw her head back baring her neck.

Without thinking, he fastened his blunt teeth on her exposed throat and sucked on the pounding pulse there. He fought down the urge to bring his demon out and sink his fangs into the tender skin he had pulled into his mouth. Suddenly he felt her stiffen and he froze wondering if he was going to get her stake though his back, but she pulled away from him with a whimper and whirled to face an approaching group of vamps.

Cursing himself for not hearing the approach of his minions and letting them catch him with the Slayer, he snarled and stepped in front of her. With an indignant snort, she shoved him out of the way and fell into a fighting stance.

The minions stopped their advance, confused that their master, who had appeared to be biting the girl, was now standing beside a very-much-alive Slayer and snarling at them.

“What d’you gits want?” he growled.

“We... Drusilla is calling for you and we came to find... why isn’t she dead?” The tall, skinny vamp who’d spoken pointed toward Buffy. “Do you need help?”

While Buffy tried to hide her giggle, Spike roared at them, “No, I don’t need any fuckin’ help! Get the hell out of here, you morons. Go back and take care of Dru.”

“She wants you to come back now,” the minion repeated stubbornly. “She said to bring you back with us.”

“I really don’t think you want to try to do that, mate,” Spike growled coldly.

“Maybe we do.” The vamp who spoke next was a large, muscular minion who had expected to take over as master until Spike arrived. He moved slowly toward the older vampire, gesturing at the others to surround Spike and Buffy.

“What d’you say, pet? Fancy a spot of violence before we finish our talk?”

“It’s what we do best,” Buffy answered cheerily, twirling her stake.

“Right then.” Without any further discussion, they sprang into action, punching and kicking their way out of the surrounding vamps and turning to dust two of them before they could react. While Buffy wielded her stake to great effect, with a minimal amount of wasted energy, Spike was reveling in the fight itself. He took out all the pent up frustration Buffy was creating in him on the faces and bodies of the vamps in front of him.

When Buffy had dusted all but the one Spike was still fighting, she sat back down on the bench to watch him gradually destroy the large vamp that had challenged him. He dropped back into his human features as though to taunt his opponent with how easily he was winning their fight. With a final kick to the bigger vamp’s head, Spike held out his hand and Buffy tossed him her stake, which he drove through the chest in front of him.

As the dust settled around them, he walked back over to the Slayer and with no hesitation he handed her the stake and sat back down.

“We fight well together,” he remarked, pulling out another cigarette.

“Always have,” she agreed.

Neither one mentioned what they were doing when the vampires appeared and they sat in uncomfortable silence for several minutes. Spike broke the silence eventually by asking quietly, “So, pet, you gonna answer my question?”

“There was a question?”

He tilted his head and smiled at her.

“You dodgin’ it, pet? Or just hopin’ I’ll be so gobsmacked by the kissin’ I’ll forget what we were talkin’ about?”

“Little bit of both, probably,” she admitted honestly. “Is it working?”

He sighed and let his head loll against the back of the bench.

“No, luv, it’s not workin’. My question still stands. What are we to each other in your world?”

“It’s... it’s complicated.”

“Oh no you don’t, Slayer. Don’t give me that ‘complicated’ bollocks again.”

He turned to look at her and found she was looking at him with damp eyes. He felt his stomach clench at what he saw there.

“Don’t,” he said flatly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I should go. I have to tell my friends and... and Angel.”

She stood up and turned away to leave without answering his question. She was fairly certain that as perceptive as Spike could be, he would figure it out. She had already taken several steps when his voice stopped her.

“I love Dru.”

“I know you do,” she said softly.

“Did I love her in your world?”

“For a while longer, you did,” she answered him honestly.

“I’d never stop lovin’ her. Not for you, not for anybody. She’s my savior, my reason for existence... I don’t believe you. I don’t leave the people I love.”

Buffy came back to stand in front of the bench on which he had remained seated, his expression angry, his fists clenched.

“I know you don’t,” she said softly, meeting his eyes. “It’s one the things I lo- like most about you.”

“I’m not the Spike you know, Slayer. I don’t love you.”

“You want me,” she replied, eyeing the still visible bulge in his jeans.

“Can’t deny it. I do. But doesn’t mean anything. Doesn’t mean I love you.”

“It’s a start.” She stroked the side of his face gently and gave him a sad smile, repeating, “It’s a start.”

When he reached for her to pull her onto his lap, she backed away reluctantly, shaking her head.

“I really do need to get back to the school. I’m sure they’re all waiting for me and Giles is getting impatient.”

“This when you let all your little buddies in on things?”

“Uh huh. I’m at least going to tell them about the real me. I haven’t decided how much to say about what I know is going to happen, ‘cause if I can stop it, then they never need to know...”

“You gonna tell the great pouf about losin’ his soul?” He tried to sound casual, but she could hear the worry in his voice.

“Probably. He needs to know that it could happen. And... and how to avoid it.” She looked away from his perceptive eyes and flushed.

“Believe you said it was your fault, pet. Want to let a curious vamp in on the secret?”

“No,” she said flatly. “All you need to know is that it isn’t going to happen this time. For more than one reason,” she added quietly.

He stood up fluidly, invading her space as he did so. He dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers, enjoying the warmth of their soft touch. He pushed the disloyal comparison to Dru’s cold mouth away, even as he allowed her to move her lips around on his. She gently touched his lower lip with her tongue, then pulled it into her mouth and sucked on it gently before releasing it and running her tongue over his sensitive teeth and gums.

He shivered at her touch, marveling again at how this woman knew just where and how to touch him. He deepened the kiss, pulling her against his body and reveling in the warmth pressing against him. When Buffy reluctantly broke off the kiss and pushed gently against his chest, he released his hold on her, but maintained contact with her mouth as long as he could.

He pressed his forehead to hers and with his eyes shut said, “I’d know you weren’t sixteen just from the way you kiss, luv. Whoever taught you sure as hell knew what he was doin’”

She lifted her head and looked at him with her eyebrows raised in amusement.

It took a couple of seconds and then he laughed softly and shrugged. “Oh. Well. Good on me, then.”

Buffy laughed softly in agreement and moved away from him.

“I really do have to go, Spike.”

“Alright, pet. Aside from gettin’ put in a wheel chair, anythin’ else I need to know about my life for next few months?”

She looked at him steadily, then shrugged and said quickly, “Forget the Order of Taraka. Forget about the Judge – he’s not quite as weapon-proof as he’d like to think. And... and Dru wouldn’t be quite as unhappy as you would if Angelus came back.”

She saw his face darken and realized he knew exactly what she meant by that.

“Guess we’ll just have to make sure the wanker stays gone, then, won’t we, pet?” he replied tightly.

“Be my first choice,” she said softly. “Even if it does mean you...”

“Even if it means I what?”

“Nothing.”

He looked at her with curiosity, but didn’t pursue it.

“Guess you’d better get to your meetin’, then, Slayer. Let your little friends know you’re not a bloody teenager anymore.”

“Good night, Spike,” she said turning away.

“Take care, Slayer,” he answered softly as he watched her walk away, golden hair bouncing in the light from the street lamps.

 

 **Chapter Nine**

Buffy walked into the library to find Giles tapping his pen impatiently and her friends looking up expectantly. She paused just inside the door when she felt a tingle, then relaxed when she saw Angel move away from the wall he’d been standing next to.

“Hi, guys. I’m sorry I’m late. Made a quick patrol first and it got a little complicated.”

“What happened?”

“Are you all right?”

“Why didn’t you ask me to go with you?” This last came from Angel and she could hear the hurt and anger in his voice.

“Or me,” Kendra added indignantly from the opposite side of the room. “You told me you weren’t going patrolling tonight.”

“I’m fine. It wasn’t a big deal, and now Spike has a few less minions for us to worry about.”

“William the Bloody has minions? How do you know they were his?” Giles’ sharp tone got her attention and she turned to see that he was looking at her with more suspicion than her report warranted. She sighed mentally and resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to tell Giles more than she wanted to about Spike and the future.

“Yes, he has minions. But not as many as he did before. He took over the Master’s. Now can we get on with this?” Her tone was somewhat sharper than she meant it to be, but the look on her Watcher’s face was reminding her too much of his attempt to kill Spike while she was fighting the First.

“Very well,” Giles said, somewhat taken back by her tone. He still hadn’t become accustomed to the idea that he was dealing with a fully adult slayer with years of experience and it grated on him when she spoke to him as an equal.

“So, Buffster, what’s the what?” Xanders cheery and oblivious question broke the tension and Buffy walked to the center of the room and leaned against the table.

“Okay, I know this is going to sound... weird... even for the Hellmouth. But,” she took a deep breath, “I’m not the Buffy you guys know. I mean, I am that Buffy, but I’m her seven years from now. Wil–somebody did a spell and put me back here into my sixteen year old body, but with all my memories intact.”

She waited to see if anyone wanted to say anything, but Xander and Willow were just staring at her with their mouths agape. Kendra was wearing her serious face and Angel was staring at her through narrowed eyes.

“I – we waited to tell you because we don’t know if I’ve been sent back to my past, or to an alternate dimension from mine. At first I was worried about doing anything to change what I know is going to happen, because there’s no way to know what effect that would have on my world. But then I decided that if I can prevent some of the horrible things that I know are going to happen to... to people I care about, then I need to do it. There is absolutely no way I can stand by and watch things... things that I know how to stop. So, I’m telling you all about me so that when I say or do something you think is weird or wrong, you’ll know I have a reason.”

She turned and smiled at her two best friends. “I still love you guys as much as ever, but I’ve got to tell you, pretending to care about the things I cared about when I was sixteen is getting to be... let’s just say I’ll be taking frequent breaks from being my teenage self. Please don’t take it personally, or think I don’t love you.”

“So,” Willow ventured, “we’re all still friends in your time? We stuck together?”

Buffy hesitated just long enough for Willow to begin a small frown and then said honestly, “We’ve had our ups and downs, but, yeah, we’re still all good friends. Friends who have been through a lot together.”

The relieved girl and curious boy visible relaxed back into their chairs.

“Well that’s good then. Nice to know none of us get eaten or otherwise made dead.”

Only Giles noticed Buffy’s slight flinch and he frowned again, adding that to his mental notes of things to quiz her about.

“And what about me?” Angel’s quiet voice came from the edge of the group. “Am I still around in your time?”

Buffy met his eyes and cringed a little at the pain she knew she was about to cause him.

“In the still undead sense? Yes. You are very much around. Just not around Sunnydale... of course, nobody’s actually around Sun--nevermind .”

She smiled at him and said sadly, “Things don’t... didn’t work out between us and you left me. Left Sunnydale. Went to LA and started a detective agency. Now you’re the CEO of a big, formerly evil, law firm.”

“That’s in your time. If things can be changed, then that doesn’t need to happen. I could stay here, with you.”

“No, Angel,” she said softly, with as much compassion as she could put into her voice, “you really can’t.”

She held his eyes long enough to let him see the affection she still had for him, and to see the complete lack of anything else he was used to seeing from her.

“Are you going to tell me why?” he asked somewhat angrily. “I think I have a right to know.”

“Yeah, Buff, are you going to tell us so we’re all ‘see-the-future’ people? Can you tell us what next week’s winning lottery numbers are?”

Buffy laughed lightly at Xander’s eagerness and started to answer him when she felt a familiar thrill go down her spine and she glanced around quickly. When she didn’t see any sign of the other vampire in her life, she continued as though she had no idea he might be listening.

“I think the safest thing to do, guys, is for me to tell you what I know you SHOULDN’T do, and if it’s necessary, I’ll tell you why. Actually, at this time, the only person who needs to not do something she did in my time is me.” She gave everyone an apologetic smile and added, “And I am definitely NOT telling you what that was. Just know that I won’t be doing it this time around.”

“Can you tell me if I get better at magic? Can you tell me that, Buffy?” Willow’s open and eager face waited eagerly for what Buffy had to say. The Slayer moved closer to her friend and patted her hand gently.

“You are capable of becoming a very powerful witch, Will. But I want you to promise me that you will let Giles guide you and be very careful about the spells you try. Will you do that for me?”

Her friend looked at her in bewilderment and said with disappointment, “Of course I will, Buffy. I would never do any spells that could hurt anyone.” She paused and looked at Buffy’s unsmiling face. “Would I? Oh my god, I would! I did, didn’t I? Oh, I’m so sorry! What did I do? I didn’t mean to...I—”

Buffy quickly stopped her friend’s apologetic babbling with a comforting hug.

“It’s all right, Will. You haven’t done anything wrong in this time. And, believe me, you helped to save the world with your magic more than once in mine.”

“I did?” she perked up immediately. “What did I do? Who did I help? Did I help you?”

Buffy laughed at the red head’s eagerness and said reassuringly, “I’ll tell you what you did one of these days. But not just yet.”

“Any chance I was part of this world save-age, Buffy?”

Xander looked hopeful, but not at all sure of the answer, as he waited to hear about his future self.

“Oh, Xan, you know I wouldn’t be able to face... the things I have to face, without all my friends supporting me. Of course you were part of it. And, actually, you saved the world all by yourself, one time.”

Xander beamed and sent a triumphant sneer at Angel before settling back in his chair. When Buffy saw the look, she approached him and said carefully, “But there is one thing I’d like you to think about.”

He looked at her quizzically and waited.

“Try not to be so judgmental about... people. And, give me a little credit for making good choices, huh?”

“I take it we’re talking about people of the male persuasion,” he asked with a wry smile. “Men I didn’t think were good enough for my Buffster?”

“Yeah, kinda like that,” she agreed with a smile.

 _No sense telling him I was referring to another vampire, just yet._

The boy gave Angel an apologetic shrug and slouched down in his chair.

“What about me, Buffy?” Angel inquired as he stalked closer to her. “Where do I fit into all this world saving that you seem to have done. Do I get to help you defeat the evil that would try to destroy it? Or do you stop letting me help you when you stop lo—”

 _Guess this isn’t a good time to tell him he IS one of the would-be world enders._

“I thought we’d talk... privately... about that, Angel. I do have something to tell you. Something very important, but not right now.”

Once again the old vampire was circling her and sniffing.

“Why do I smell him on you again?” he growled. “What the hell is going on. If you need help killing him—”

She didn’t even try to pretend she didn’t know who he was talking about.

“There will be no killing of Spike,” Buffy said quietly and saw Angel’s eyes flash amber while everyone else in the room gaped at her.

“And why would that be, Buffy?” came Giles’ calm voice as he asked what everyone was thinking.

Buffy sighed, not having planned to tell anyone about Spike until she’d decided what to tell him about his future. However, with everyone staring at her expectantly and with him hiding behind her in the stacks listening, she mentally shrugged and decided to tell everyone at once and deal with the fall out.

“No one touches Spike, because in my time, he helps me save the world a couple of times – and the final time he....” She had to stop as a lump unexpectedly appeared in her throat. “… he sacrifices himself to do it.”

Louder than any of the comments from the shocked humans in the room, or the roar from the unbelieving vampire, was the sound of books falling, a body hitting the floor, and a furious, “No bloody, fuckin’ way!”

Buffy moved to the entrance to the corridor from which the noise was emanating and looked in amusement at the sight of Spike sprawled on the floor, fuming and covered with the books he’d knocked down when he punched the shelves.

He glared at her furiously and growled, “You just said that because you knew I was listenin’, didn’t you? Ha, bloody ha, Slayer. It was a riot.”

She walked in and knelt down in front of him, gently removing the books covering his legs. He shook the rest of them off and sat up, putting his face that much closer to hers.

“Tell me you were kiddin’, pet. Please tell me you were kiddin’,” he begged pitifully.

“Sorry, Big Bad. I didn’t mean to let it out quite like that, but I can’t have anybody trying to stake you when I’m not around. Just in case we need some world saving again....”

He stood up and shook himself, settling his leather coat around his body and trying to regain some dignity. Buffy cocked her head at him and said softly, “Since you’re here, you might as well meet the gang. But don’t expect them to like you right aw—”

“Don’t WANT them to like me,” he grumbled, obediently following her out of the stacks and into the frightened and hostile faces waiting for them.

Xander and Willow drew together and tried to hide behind Giles who was holding a large cross and frowning at the close proximity between his Slayer and the vampire renowned for killing her kind.

Kendra’s face was a study in confusion. Clearly the shockingly blond man behind Buffy was a powerful vampire, and just as clearly, the other slayer was unafraid to turn her back on him.

While everyone stared at the notorious vampire standing right behind Buffy, his eyes were fixed on only one set of amber orbs glaring at him.

“Angelus,” he snarled.

“Spike,” the other vampire hissed.

The tension in the room was palpable as the two master vampires faced each other. Buffy remained in front of Spike, the hard look on her face making it very clear that she was serious about his not being harmed by anyone.

“Buffy,” Angel growled, “I don’t know what he’s told you, but you can’t trust him. He has no soul. And you heard his reaction when you said he saved the world for you. He’s pure evil, and should be put down like a mad dog.”

“You plannin’ to take over Dru’s care, then, are you?” Spike asked mildly. “Cause she needs it even more right now than she has in the past.”

Oblivious to the humans in the room, Angel stalked toward his grandchilde.

“Why did you come here? Why bring her here?”

“Thought the Hellmouth would help her heal, but it’s not workin’. She needs more.”

His eyes bored into the furious older vampire’s, daring him to pretend he didn’t know what his childe needed to recover.

“If you’ll leave after, I’ll do it,” Angel said, never taking his eyes from Spike’s. “But if you don’t leave, I’ll kill both of you.”

Buffy stepped forward and put a hand on Angel’s chest as she turned toward a surprised Spike.

“Spike, I told you I wouldn’t let you do that ritual. I’m not going to let you kill Angel any more than I’m going to let him kill you.”

Still meeting the other vampire’s eyes, Spike answered her coldly, “Not your decision to make, pet. But he’s not takin’ about a ritual. He’s talkin’ about volunteerin’. Isn’t that right, Peaches?”

The humans in the room all looked confused for a moment, until Giles said with dawning recognition, “Sire’s blood. She needs sire’s blood to recover her strength.”

Buffy looked rapidly back forth between the two staring vampires. It was obvious that they had reached an agreement when Spike dropped his eyes and turned away with a shrug.

“Alright, then. You give her what she needs, and I’ll take her away and never come back.”

He ignored the way Buffy’s mouth tightened when he said he wouldn’t be back.

 _No way am I letting this chit of a Slayer interfere with restoring my dark princess. She can make all the sad eyes she wants at me. I’m gonna take my Dru and leave and never give her another thought. Don’t care how good a kisser she is, or how good her blood tastes. When Dru recovers, I’m outa here. For good._

“Sounds like a plan!” Xander said into the heavy silence. “Deadboy does a little donating and the evil twosome leave town, never to be seen again. I like it.”

“I don’t like it,” came from the normally quiet dark slayer. “For what reason would we allow a powerful vampiress to recover her strength when she could be easily slain now?”

She whirled on Buffy and said angrily, “If you won’t do the job for which you were chosen and rid the world of these two, I will do it for you.”

“Kendra,” Buffy tried to speak in a conciliatory manner. “You don’t want to go up against Dru. Please believe me. And I won’t let you stake Spike. I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

“I don’t understand a Slayer that protects vampires,” the other girl shook her head. “An’ you’re protecting two of them. You should be ashamed.”

Before Buffy could continue the argument, the other Slayer whirled and left the library, muttering to herself about traitors and sharpened stakes. Buffy sighed and added finding Kendra before she found Dru to her list of things to do.

“Let’s do it,” Angel said to Spike, picking his jacket up off a chair. He and Spike moved toward the door, stopping when Buffy ran after them and grabbed his arm.

“Wait! You’re just going to go with him like that? I thought you told me he couldn’t be trusted?”

“He wouldn’t do anything to harm Drusilla. I’ll be fine, Buffy.” His eyes were warm as he basked in the obvious concern she felt for him. He told himself that just because she was older, it didn’t mean she couldn’t fall back in love with him. She hadn’t indicated that she had anyone in her life at the time she was sent back.

“I’m going with you,” she said stubbornly. “I don’t trust any of you not to mess this up.”

“Buffy,” Angel tried to reason with her. “It’s a very simple thing I’ll be doing, but not one you probably want to watch. It’s a vampire sire/childe... issue.”

“Let her come, Peaches. It’s high time the chit learned a thing or two about you and yours.”

“Shut up, Spike,” he snarled. “I don’t want her watching. She’s only sixteen....” His voice trailed off as he remembered what he’d just learned about this Buffy’s true age.

“She’s a big girl now,” the cocky blond said with a sideways look at the blushing Slayer. “She’ll be alright.”

“I want to go on record as saying this is a really, really bad idea,” the bigger vamp said, giving in and heading for the door.

“Duly noted,” Spike replied with a wink at Buffy. He gestured for her to precede him through the door and her watcher and friends stared in shock as she strode out between two master vampires looking for all the world like it happened every day.

 

 **Chapter Ten**

As they approached the warehouse where Drusilla and the few minions left were waiting, Spike touched Buffy’s arm gently and she dropped back beside him.

“Don’t get too close to Dru, pet,” he said softly. “ Especially after she’s recovered.”

Buffy looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think I can take Dru? I’m not Kendra.” She flushed when his eyes glittered and she realized she’d given away that in her time the other Slayer met her fate at his consort’s hands.

“I don’t want to find out which of you would win that kind of confrontation,” he said tightly. “An’ if she smells me all over you, there’s gonna be a confrontation, believe me.”

“Which one of us are you worried about, Spike? I mean, I’m just another Slayer, according to you. Why should you care if your “dark princess” kills me?”

The vampire ground his teeth and stretched his neck, trying to control his temper.

“I shouldn’t.” he said curtly. “But until I figure out why I do, no vampire touches you except me.”

“Slayer, here, Spike. Vampires touch me all the time. Or try to anyway.”

“You know what I mean. Are you _trying_ to piss me off?”

She sighed and dropped her head.

“No, not really. I’ll stay away if I can. But, Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“She’s gonna know. She doesn’t need to smell us. She knows before we do.”

He nodded his head and sighed, “You’re probably right about that, pet. Bloody Miss Edith will tell her if nothin’ else.”

“Miss Edith?”

But he just shook his head and walked faster to catch up with Angel. Buffy hurried after them and arrived at the door just in time to hear Drusilla scream.

“Daddy! My daddy is back! Look, Spike, Daddy is back and we can be a family again.”

The excited vampire moved toward Angel as quickly as she could, a smile on her face. Then, she got close enough to really see him and she recoiled, hissing, “Not Daddy. Bad Spike to bring me this... thing.”

“Calm down, Dru,” Angel said soothingly. “It’s me. I’ve come to help you get well. Then you and Spike can go away to someplace nice.”

“Oooh, someplace with lots of lovely little children for me and pretty girls for my sweet William?”

Dru clapped her hands and began to spin around in circles, humming to herself.

Buffy cringed and fought back the urge to hurl her stake through the lunatic’s chest. As badly as she wanted Dru gone, and as much as her Slayer instincts were demanding that she remove this deadly predator, she knew Spike would never forgive her if she did.

Angel had approached the now twirling woman and was attempting to get her to stop dancing around long enough to see what he was offering. When he used his own fangs to rip open his wrist and held it in front of her nose, she stopped abruptly and immediately went into vamp face.

“For me?” she breathed as she took his wrist in her hand. “Is it for me, Daddy”

“Yes, Dru, it’s for you. Just enough to help you get strong again. So you can leave here.”

She put his wrist to her mouth and began to suck on it, shutting her eyes in ecstasy as she did so. As she pulled on his blood, Buffy was shocked to see a bulge grow in Angel’s pants and she gasped as he pulled the vampire to his body and fastened his fangs on her neck. Without releasing her hold on his wrist, Drusilla wrapped one leg around the other vampire and pressed her pelvis to his, moaning his name.

Beside her, Buffy felt Spike tense up and she glanced at him to see if she was going to need to restrain him from killing Angel. To her surprise, even though his fists were clenched tightly at his sides and she wasn’t sure she didn’t see tears in his eyes, he maintained his control and just continued to watch the woman he loved while she crawled all over her sire.

When she saw Drusilla unzip Angel’s pants and pull his cock out to slip under her dress, Buffy blushed like the sixteen-year-old whose body she was wearing and she tried to turn away. But Spike grabbed her arms and pulled her in close to his chest as he forced her to watch. She could feel his erection pressing into her ass and she unconsciously pushed back against him, eliciting a groan.

“Watch Slayer,” he whispered into her ear, his cool breath sending shivers down her spine. “Watch and learn what a vampire really is.”

“I don’t want to watch this, Spike,” she hissed at him. “And I can’t believe you want to watch it either. Let me go.”

“You really want me to let you go, luv? Are you sure about that?” he asked, rubbing himself against her warm body. “I thought you wanted me?”

“Not like this, I don’t. Let me go!” She struggled against the steel bands of his arms and to her dismay, she felt tears start in her eyes.

The instant he smelled her tears, he loosened his hold and to her amazement, he buried his face in her neck, murmuring how sorry he was and asking her to forgive him. She pushed him away and turned around to face him, only to find that he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“What the hell was that!” she snarled.

“That was the evil one being a vampire,” said a cold voice behind them.

They both whirled to find Kendra standing in the entrance to the room, holding her stake in one hand and a sword in the other. Buffy unconsciously moved between Spike and the other slayer, ignoring his angry growl and putting out her arm to prevent him from getting in front of her.

“Kendra, you need to leave here. Please, listen to me. Just leave. They’ll be done soon and then Spike and Drusilla will leave and you can go back to... wherever... and worry about your local vamps.”

Instead of answering her, the other Slayer flew across the room and whirled her sword at Drusilla’s head. A large, meaty hand came up at the last second and grabbed her wrist, wrenching it so the sword fell to the floor. The female vampire turned languidly and without moving at all, she gestured to her eyes and said in a sultry voice, “Be in me”. Kendra froze in place and before Buffy could say anything, the vampire’s talon-like fingernails had sliced the other slayer’s throat.

Buffy moaned and started toward the group, only to be stopped by Spike’s hand on her arm.

“Don’t, pet. Somethin’s not....”

Buffy looked at the tall vampire now leering at her and felt her blood run cold. She knew that face and those eyes. She still saw them in her nightmares every now and then.

“Angelus,” she breathed.

“Hello, lover,” he answered, licking his bloody lips.

“You need to leave, luv,” Spike whispered into her ear. “You can’t fight both of them.”

“Get her out of my town, Spike,” she responded as she whirled and flew out the door. She ran until her lungs were screaming for air, then sat down on the curb and sobbed into her hands.

 

 **Chapter Eleven**

 

Buffy allowed herself a few minutes of mourning for her sister slayer and for her inability to prevent Angel from losing his soul, then stood up and, wearing her determination on her face, she raced to her Watcher’s apartment. She banged on the door until the disheveled-looking man let her in, then immediately went to the phone and began dialing Willow’s number.

As soon as her sleepy friend answered, she began giving instructions, which she then had to repeat as Willow came awake and realized who was talking to her so rapidly.

“B-Buffy? What are you saying? Angel doesn’t have his soul anymore? What do you want me to do?”

“The first thing you need to do is a dis-invite spell for your house. Right away. I don’t know how long it will be before he starts trying to—Just do it, Will. Now.”

Buffy paused for breath. From the corner of her eye, she could see the blood drain from Giles’ face has he processed what Buffy was telling her friend. To her surprise, an equally upset Jenny Calendar appeared behind him, wearing Giles’ bathrobe and clutching it around her slender body.

“What’s the next thing, Buffy?” came Willow’s voice over the phone.

“We’re going to need someone to do a spell to restore his soul. Someone who can recreate the curse....” She kept her eyes on the self-styled techno-pagan and was gratified to see awareness and then nodding acceptance in the warm brown eyes.

Buffy nodded back and asked Willow to go to her house as soon as it was daylight and do a dis-invite spell there also. She could see that Giles was already looking in a book for the proper words to work on for his apartment.

Jenny immediately went into the bedroom and began throwing on her clothes. She needed to get back to the school and into the computer lab immediately if she was going to locate anyone who might know where to find the curse spell.

Buffy next called Xander to warn him not to let Angel in, should the vampire show up at his door. She could almost feel the self-satisfied smirk on her friend’s face when she told him Angel had become dangerous, and she had to fight the urge to run over there and smack it off. Fortunately for him, the boy had enough sense to keep his “I told you so” to himself and Buffy hung up after warning him to be careful.

While Giles worked his dis-invite spell, Jenny came out of the bedroom and walked over to Buffy.

“How did this happen? I thought you were going to be sure that he didn’t have that moment of happiness?”

“Apparently, I’m not the only thing that makes him happy,” she replied tightly.

Jenny just blinked, then nodded her head and began to put her jacket on.

“Where are you going?”

“To the school, to begin searching for the curse.”

“Not now you’re not,” the Slayer said fiercely. “Not until daylight. You don’t go anywhere at night without me.”

“Why is that, Buffy?” came Giles’ cold voice. “Is there something else we should know that you haven’t told us?”

Buffy sank down onto the sofa and put her head in her hands. Suddenly the Slayer was gone and there was a young woman who had seen too much death and pain fighting to hold back tears.

“I’m getting scared, Giles. I couldn’t save Angel’s soul; I couldn’t save Kendra. What if everything is going to happen all over again, no matter what I do to change it?”

“Then we will deal with it when the time comes,” he said soothingly. “But you need to tell us what we have to worry about if we are going to be of any help to you.”

The gypsy woman looked at Buffy with haunted eyes and asked, “Can we start with why I can’t go out at night without a bodyguard?”

Buffy met her eyes and said flatly, “Because Angelus will find you and kill you before you can give us the spell we need.” She turned her eyes to her watcher’s stunned face. “And you really do not want me to tell you how he uses her death to torment you. One of the things I know about Angelus is that he loves to toy with his victims before he kills them. He is a master at mental torture. It’s why Drusilla is the lunatic she is. He made her mad before he turned her.”

“How do you know this, Buffy? Surely Angel didn’t tell you?”

“Actually, he kind of did tell me about Dru, although he left out a lot of details. When... when he has his soul, he’s ashamed of it. It was Spike who told me more about what Angelus was like before he lost his soul.”

“Which brings us to the next question. How does William the Bloody fit into this? Where and how did you become so familiar with the killer of slayers that you trust him as much as you obviously do?”

Buffy sighed and leaned her head against the back of the couch, closing her eyes.

“I really had hoped to put this off for a while, but I guess you have a right to know. When Angel loses – lost his soul, in my time, Spike was in a wheel chair healing from a broken back.” When her watcher raised his eyebrows questioningly, she nodded shortly, verifying her part in that, and then went back to her story. “He spent months being tormented by Angelus; watching him ... well, watching Angelus and Dru together; having to depend on a sadist and a lunatic for everything, including food.

“When the two loony tunes decided to end the world by restoring Acathla, he came to me for a truce. Turns out Spike likes the world the way it is. He offered to help me stop them, if I would let him take Dru away somewhere far from here. They, Angelus and Dru, didn’t know he could walk again, so he was able to take Angel by surprise and give me time to get in and attack him.”

“And what happened? I presume you were able to stop Acathla?”

“I was too late. Angelus had opened the portal and the only way I could stop it was to stab him and send him through it.”

“I’m sorry, Buffy, that must have been difficult for you.”

“You have no idea,” she said shortly. “It made me run away to LA and quit slaying for months.” She stopped and looked at her clearly concerned Watcher. “That was the sixteen year old me, Giles. The one that thought Angel was the love of her life, her soul mate. I’m not that naive little girl anymore. If I get a chance to kill him now, I’ll take it. That’s why I’m hoping that Willow and Jenny will come up with the spell to re-soul him before I have to kill him again.”

“And this trust of Spike stems from that one incident in which he helped you in order to save his girl friend from Angelus?” Giles was wearing the face she had seen way too many times in her lifetime and she answered with what could only be called a snarl.

“No, it stems from years of his helping me, caring for my sis-family, protecting my friends when I couldn’t be here to do it, and loving me unconditionally no matter how I treated him. Not to mention, the whole going-up in-flames-to-save-the-world thing.”

Giles flinched back from the very strong and obviously angry girl.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I just find it very difficult to believe that William the Bloody could turn into someone to be trusted. Not without being cursed with a soul, like Angel was. What would possess him to do such a thing?”

“Did you miss the ‘loving me unconditionally’ part of my little tirade?” she asked with a sad smile. “He did it for me. Because he loves – loved me.”

“He loved you? Without a soul? Extraordinary! I should like to speak with him about this—” He broke off, remembering that the Spike she was referring to was dead.

“But, Buffy,” he said gently, “this is not your Spike. This one is still in love with Drusilla.”

“So he keeps reminding me,” she said wryly.

Giles blinked in surprise.

“You’ve talked about this? He knows?”

“I haven’t told him very much. But he knows there is – was – will be something between us. He just hasn’t realized it yet.”

“And, yet, still you trust him?”

“Yes, I do. And that is the last time I will have that trust questioned. By you, or Xander, or Angel, or anyone else.”

Her expression was pure Slayer and clearly indicated the conversation was over as far as she was concerned.

When no one was able to break the silence that followed her ultimatum, she stood up and headed for the door.

“I have to get home to warn my mom. Angel has a free pass to my house that she doesn’t even know about.”

“Be careful, Buffy.”

“I’ll be fine,” she said with no inflection. “If he’s counting on my feelings to protect him this time....” She didn’t finish her sentence, just shrugged and went out into the night.

 

When she got to Revello Drive, she was surprised to see a light on in the kitchen and her heart rate sped up as she hurried up the walk. Fearing what she would find, she rushed into the kitchen, only to find Spike sitting quietly with her mother and sipping on a cup of hot chocolate.

“You let him in?” she practically shrieked at her mother. “You know what he is, and you let him in?”

Her mother looked embarrassed and said haltingly, “I... he seemed so worried. And you weren’t home yet. And he was so sad... and, yes,” her chin came up as she remembered that his was her teenage daughter lecturing her. “I let him in. It’s my house and I’ll invite in whom I please.”

Buffy just sighed and rolled her eyes. Then she whirled on the vampire.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be trying to get your ho-bag of a girl friend out of here like I told you to?”

His eyes flashed amber for a second, and Buffy unconsciously reached for the stake in her waistband. They glared at each other for a minute, then the vampire’s shoulders slumped and he said quietly, “You were right, pet. She won’t leave her precious ‘daddy’. Couldn’t stand to watch them anymore, so I came to find you.”

“I’m not quite sure how to take that,” she said, relaxing a little.

“Can’t say I’m sure how I meant it.” He gave her a small smile and she smiled back and pushed the stake back down.

“But I wasn’t here. Why did you come in?”

“Thought you wouldn’t want your mum all alone here without you to protect her. I figured the great poof prob’ly has an invite, yeah?”

“Yeah, he does.”

“Buffy,” her mother said in her best what-the-hell-is-going-on-here voice.

Ignoring her for a minute, Buffy stepped closer to Spike and said softly, “So, you stayed here to protect my mother, huh?”

“Well, that, and she makes great hot chocolate.” He beamed at Joyce, than turned to Buffy to growl, “Tell anybody and I’ll kill you.”

Buffy heard her mother gasp at that remark, but she was too busy laughing at him to reassure the older woman. When Joyce saw that Buffy wasn’t afraid of the vampire, she sat back down and sipped at her own cup.

“So,” she said conversationally, “are you two going to tell me what’s going on? And who is the ‘great poof’?”

“Un, that would be your daughter’s ex-boyfriend,” Spike volunteered even as Buffy was frantically trying to signal him with her eyes.

“Boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend? My sixteen year old daughter has had a boy friend long enough for him to be a ex, and I haven’t met him?” Her mother’s tone was cool and disappointed.

“Sixteen?” he turned wide eyes on Buffy. “You haven’t told her yet? Your own mother?”

“Told me what? Buffy what is going on around here?”

With a fierce glare at the grinning vampire, Buffy attempted to tell her mother about her true situation, but she could see that it was asking a lot to expect a woman who had just found out about her daughter’s calling and vampires and demons, to make a leap of faith and believe in time travel and alternate dimensions.

“You—you’re not sixteen?” her mother asked with a bewildered look between her daughter and the vampire who was nodding enthusiastically.

“My body is. But the person inside it? Not so much, Mom. I’ve been around for another six or seven years. Very rough years, I might add. So if I seem....”

“Bossy? Cranky? Full of myself?”

“Shut up, Spike.” She spoke without thinking, then suddenly the familiarity of that phrase made her stomach clench and she grasped the kitchen counter with white knuckles.

Joyce watched in bewilderment as the vampire immediately stopped grinning and flowed from his seat to her daughter’s side and held her gently while she blinked back tears.

“ ‘M sorry, pet. Used to say that to me a lot, did you?”

She leaned toward him, nodding her head gently and resting her forehead against his chest just so she could inhale his scent for a short period of time. She finally stood up straight and pulled back, looking up at him apologetically.

“Sorry, I just really miss you... him... sometimes, and it’s hard to be around you and not....”

“I’m sorry I can’t be him for you, pet. I wish I could be. But I’m not. You can push my buttons all you want, but it’s not gonna change that.”

She nodded and moved away from him, only to see her mother looking back and forth between them with a puzzled frown.

“Am I missing something here?” her mother inquired.

“I’ll explain it later, mom,” Buffy said tiredly. “Why don’t you go back to bed. I’ll stay up until Willow gets here in the morning to do the dis-invite spell. Just let me check the upstairs before you go up there and make sure there’s nothing there that shouldn’t be.”

Buffy went quickly up stairs and carefully checked all the rooms, including the closets, before locking the windows closed and calling downstairs to let her mother know it was all right to go to bed.

Meanwhile, Joyce was putting the hot chocolate ingredients away and the mugs in the dishwasher. She watched the vampire from the corners of her eyes and saw that he had a very pensive look on his face.

“So, in her own time my daughter and you are together?”

He started at the sound of her voice and shifted uncomfortably.

“Well, we were, it seems. She really hasn’t told me much about it, jus’ that we’ve known each other for a long time and I help her with her work. And, that ‘m not around anymore.”

“You left her?” There was a touch of motherly disapproval in her voice.

Spike grinned at her ruefully, “Don’t be grabbin’ a weapon, there, Mum. I think ‘m not around in the now-he’s-a-big-pile-‘o-dust sense of the word.”

“Oh. Oh! I’m sorry, Spike.” Joyce looked horrified at his casual acceptance of his death.

“Not to worry, Joyce. Slayer’s planning to do things a little differently this time. Wants to avoid all the bad stuff she knows about. Dunno if it’s gonna work – didn’t keep the poof from losing his soul again, or newbie from meetin’ her end—" He stopped at Joyce’s muffled gasp and ducked his head.

“Sorry, Joyce. I forgot you didn’t know about that. Slayer’s really gonna kill me now.”

At her startled expression, he grinned again, “Figure of speech, luv. Jus’ meant she’ll be brassed off that I let it slip out like that.”

Shaking her head at the way Buffy, and now Spike, had her in a permanent state of befuddlement the past week, she said goodnight and went to meet her daughter at the bottom of the stairs.

After assuring her mother that the upstairs was safe, and making her promise not to open any windows and to scream if she heard the slightest unusual noise, she kissed her mother goodnight. If Joyce was confused by the unusual amounts of physical affection Buffy had shown this past week, she resolutely pushed any thoughts of why that might be to the back of her mind.

 

 **Chapter Twelve**

After sending her mother to bed, Buffy walked back into the kitchen to fix herself something to eat and drink. As she rummaged through the refrigerator, looking for a coke or something with caffeine in it, she looked over her shoulder at the vampire still sitting on a kitchen stool.

“Want something?” she asked, flushing as his gaze went over her jeans-clad rear end.

When he saw the flush he laughed and gave her his best leer. “What’re you offerin’, pet?”

“You’re a pig, Spike.” Again the automatic insult caused her to squeeze her eyes shut briefly, but she shook off the feeling and smiled at him as she closed the refrigerator. “It’s a good thing I’ve had years to get used to it or it might’ve got you a bloody nose.”

Spike hadn’t missed the twinge of pain he’d caused her and he was instantly sorry he’d caused it. Since she didn’t mention it, he decided to pretend he hadn’t noticed and he just leered at her again.

Buffy rolled her eyes and came over to sit on the other stool. While she nibbled on a sandwich, she said, without meeting his eyes, “Thank you for staying here with Mom. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, pet. You mum’s a right nice woman. I like her. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to her.”

To his surprise, she again squeezed her eyes shut and this time she couldn’t hide the pain on her face. Once again, he was off his stool and holding her gently, allowing her to lean into his chest.

“Bloody hell, pet. Has anything good happened to you in the next few years? It’s gettin’ so ‘m afraid to say anythin’. If I wanted to make you cry, I’d be chewin’ on your neck or somethin’ more fun than jus’ talkin’.”

Her shoulders shook with combined tears and laughter as she slipped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. For just a few minutes, she allowed herself to enjoy the comfort of his familiar embrace before she remembered that this Spike, as sympathetic as he might seem to be, was not in love with her and probably didn’t want her tears soaking his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffed, pushing herself away slightly to look up at him. “I got your shirt all wet. You’re going to think I’m such a crybaby.”

“Naw, pet. I know you’re not a crybaby. Never seen a Slayer like you before. You’ve got friends and family, things that should make you weak; but instead, it’s like they make you stronger.”

“Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t,” she said cryptically.

They stood together awkwardly. Spike was enjoying the feel of her warm body in his arms and the unique scent she had. Buffy was reluctant to pull out of his embrace until she had to. With her eyes shut, she could pretend he was her Spike and that he loved her.

Finally, when it became obvious somebody had to do something, she tightened her arms around his waist in a small hug and said, “Thank you,” before stepping back from him.

Spike dropped his arms, a little surprised at how hard it was to let her go, and stepped back also.

“Anyway,” she began with a shaky laugh, “what I was starting to say when my sniffles so rudely interrupted me, is that I appreciate what you did, but now that I’m home, you can—”

“Got no where to go, luv. Don’t fancy sittin’ around listening to your ex and Dru shaggin’ each other silly.”

He kept his tone light, but Buffy could see the pain in his eyes and the part of her that wasn’t jealous of his feelings for the brunette vampire ached for him. She put her hand on his arm and asked softly, “I’m going to stay up and watch TV until the sun is up. Do you want to stay and keep me company? Help me stay awake?”

“Sure, pet. Be my pleasure.”

They moved into the living room and after a laughing tussle over the remote, settled on the couch to watch an old movie. They both sat stiffly at first – Buffy because she didn’t want to appear clingy by snuggling up to him, as much as she wanted to do so; and Spike because he didn’t want her to think he was trying to take advantage of the way she felt about the Spike that wasn’t him.

But as the night wore on and Buffy was having a harder and harder time staying awake, her weight gradually shifted toward the slight dip in the cushions his weight was causing. When she caught herself falling asleep and slipping toward him, she came upright with a start and looked around quickly. She saw the vampire looking at her with amusement, his eyes twinkling.

“What kind of a slayer falls asleep sittin’ next to a master vampire?” he teased her gently. “Seems like a career endin’ move, pet.”

When she didn’t answer him, but just looked embarrassed, he put his arm around her and gently pulled her toward him.

“Was just kiddin’ with you, luv. I’m not sleepy. You can rest on me and I’ll wake you if you’re needed.”

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” she said softly, with a grateful smile.

He raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. “Don’t trust me?”

She couldn’t decide if she heard a touch of hurt in his voice or not.

“I do. You know I do. It’s just... it’s too easy to forget that you’re not... not my Spike. Not yet, anyway,” she added with a trace of a smile.

He sighed and pulled her into his lap with both arms. She stiffened with resistance for a minute, then relaxed and curled into him.

He though for a minute about what he wanted to say, then began softly, “I’m not your Spike, Buffy. I don’t know if, in this time, I ever will be. I know you think that I will, but I just can’t see it right now. And I’m sorry I can’t. Believe me. I can see that you’d be very easy to love. But I’m a one-woman kinda man. Always have been.”

“Love’s bitch,” she murmured into his chest.

He drew back in surprise, then chuckled and leaned in to rest his chin on her head. “I guess you could say that, pet.”

“I didn’t say it. You did. Long time ago – well, no actually, about a year from now... never mind. It’s your phrase, not mine.”

“Yeah, sounds like me,” he admitted, chuckling again. He unconsciously nuzzled her hair, inhaling the clean, herbal smell.

Buffy almost held her breath as she felt him breathing in her scent. She knew her hair was one of his favorite things to scent and play with, and she was afraid to say or do anything that might make him stop. She rested one of her hands on top of his arm and began to gently move her thumb back and forth in a soothing motion. She was enjoying the feel of his cool, smooth skin as she stroked her thumb back and forth idly and she almost didn’t notice when his breathing stopped and he became very still.

She did, however, notice the growing bulge under her rear and she shifted slightly to slide it between her thighs. A growl from the vampire made her catch her breath, and she turned her head and tipped it up so that she could nuzzle his neck. She nipped on the spot below his jaw that she knew was sensitive and elicited another growl from him.

“What’re you doin’, luv?” he asked hoarsely. “You know you’ve got an unfair advantage here; knowin’ me like you do...”

He shuddered when she ran her tongue down the skin of his throat and sucked the skin above his collarbone into her mouth. She sucked hard on the skin until she knew the borrowed blood was staining his pale flesh, then she whispered, “Mine.”

Spike shot upright, almost dropping her off his lap.

“What the hell?”

Buffy took his face in her hands and made him look in her eyes. “When you take Drusilla away from here – and I know you are going to leave – I want to be sure you know there’s a reason to come back. When you’re ready. I’ll wait for you.”

“Buffy....” The vampire’s face was a study in suppressed desire, pained understanding and frustrated affection. “Buffy, I can’t pretend I don’t feel something’ for you. Don’t know what it is, don’t know why, but I won’t deny it’s there. But, I’ve told you. I love Dru. Have for over a hundred years. I can’t love you, Slayer. That’s just the way it is.”

To his amazement, instead of being sad, Buffy shook her head and laughed to herself. “So that’s what it sounds like to hear that and know it’s not.... Poor Spike.”

She looked into his puzzled eyes. “Someday I’ll tell you why it’s funny that you would say that to me. But, not now. Now I want to make love to you. Will you let me do that, Spike? Please?”

Buffy briefly wondered if a person could be killed by a heavy dose of irony as she waited for Spike to answer her. She could see the internal struggle taking place and knew that he wasn’t struggling so much with cheating on Dru as he was wondering if making love with Buffy would be fair to the Slayer.

 _Puts him way ahead of me in the thinking about somebody else’s feelings department. But then, I already knew that didn’t I? I’m the user in this relationship, not him._

She touched his face gently with her hand and looked into his conflicted eyes.

“It’s okay. It really is. I know what I’m doing. Just let me have this before you leave. Okay?”

“Well,” he tried to sound disinterested, even as his hands began sliding over her body, “it guess it’s the evil thing to do. And I’m definitely evil, so....”

“That you are, Big Bad,” she said as his lips closed on hers.

Their tongues met and tangled, fighting for dominance as they let lust take over their bodies. Spike’s hands slid under her shirt to move over her warm silky skin and she moaned when his hand tentatively cupped one breast. She pulled on his tee shirt until he shifted forward to allow her to pull it up and over his head. She immediately fastened her mouth on his nipple and began pulling on it lightly, smiling to herself when he hissed in appreciation.

It soon became obvious that the couch was not going to allow them the room they needed and Buffy slid off his lap to the floor, pulling him down with her. When he tried to lay her down, she shook her head and pushed him gently down on his back.

“No, Spike. I’m making love to you tonight. _The way you always wanted me to and I was too afraid to let you have._ You just lie still. Let me please you.”

He looked up at the vision straddling his hips and nodded silently. What ever she wanted – whatever was going to make her feel better when he was gone. He would give her that.

With her golden hair hanging in her face, her cheeks flushed with heat and her eyes heavy with desire, he thought he’d never seen anything so beautiful. He had to fight to remain still while she slowly kissed her way down his body, pausing at the waistband of his jeans to lick his belly button while she worked on the snap and zipper.

His freed erection sprang out into her hand and she began to stroke it softly while the other hand tried to shove his jeans off. When one hand wasn’t enough, she planted a kiss on the tip before sliding down his legs to untie his boots and pull them and his jeans off. Except for lifting his hips to allow her to remove his jeans, Spike remained obediently still, waiting to see what she would do next.

Sitting on his now-bare legs, Buffy pulled her own shirt up over her head and threw it and her bra onto the couch behind her. He couldn’t control his gasp as her perfect breasts bounced lightly in front of him and his hands reached for them. She lightly smacked them back down, saying, “Ah, ah. I’ll let you know when you can touch.”

“Bossy little bint, aren’t you?” he growled, but he was smiling when he said it, and obediently crossed his arms behind his head. Buffy lost focus for a second when that position showed off his wonderfully lean and muscular torso and bulging biceps.

 _Damn show-off vampire. Thinks he’s pretty hot stuff_ she grumbled to herself, even as she had to admit that the sight in front of her was making her mouth water.

When he teased her for sitting there, mouth agape, with, “Cat got your tongue, Slayer?” she narrowed her eyes and leaned down to lick his cock from bottom to top. She then swirled her tongue around the head, sticking it under the foreskin and pushed it out of her way so she could lick the pre-cum off.

“What do you think?” she asked sweetly. “Have I lost my tongue, vampire?”

Before he recovered himself to answer her, she bent over him again and began working his cock into her throat as far as she could get it. When his hips pushed up toward her, she held him down with one hand on his lower abdomen. With the other hand, she gently massaged his balls, pulling gently on the sac before grasping the base of his cock with her hand to hold it still while she continued to move her mouth up and down on it.

Each time she pulled it in to her mouth she got it a little further down her throat. If her mouth hadn’t been so stretched by his ample girth, she would have been smiling at the incoherent sounds coming from the vampire. When the sounds he was making told her he was ready to come, she took a deep breath and began swallowing. The swallowing action was all it took to send him over the edge and he muffled his shout with his fist as he emptied himself into her throat.

As soon as he dropped back, taking totally unnecessary recovery breaths, she stood up, one leg on each side of his hips. Spike stared up at her in awe as she stood there, legs apart, hands on hips, a self-satisfied smile on her face. She cupped her breasts with her hands and lifted them slightly, rubbing her thumbs across the hard nipples.

She heard him growl and put one bare foot on his chest to hold him down.

“Just wait your turn, there, vampire.”

He watched through narrowed eyes as she unfastened her pants and peeled them off down her legs, stepping off his body for a second to free up one foot. Then she straddled him again and pushed them down and off the other foot. He stared up at her worshipfully, taking in the sight of her long tanned legs ending in neatly trimmed light brown curls that glistened with moisture.

“I could look at this sight for hours, luv,” he barely managed to get out.

“I know,” she smiled. “It’s one of your favorite things. Right after what I just did to you.”

“Please tell me I taught you to do that, pet. I would hate to think you wasted a talent like that on the great poof, or some human prat.”

“You pretty much taught me everything I know, Spike,” she answered, suddenly serious. “I didn’t know anything about love or love making until you.”

“You tellin’ me I popped your cherry?” he asked in amazement.

“Well, no. Not in my time line – but....” She gestured at her sixteen-year-old body. “I guess this one’s yours. If you want it,” she added, looking away with sudden shyness.

So fast that she wasn’t sure he’d even moved, he’d reached up, wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her down to the floor with him. He rolled them over so that she was looking up at him with wide green eyes as he settled his hips between her thighs.

“ _If_ I want it? Bloody hell, woman. Don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything quite so much in my unlife.” He studied her youthful face for a few seconds and asked softly, “Are you sure you want me to do this, pet? I know the real you in there isn’t a shy little virgin, but you could do whatever you want with this body. Doesn’t have to be me.”

“I _want_ it to be you, Spike. Nobody else is ever going to touch this body. It’s yours. Please take it. Give me that to keep until you come back.”

He shut his eyes briefly to hide from the love he could see openly expressed in hers. As much as he wanted the nubile, young body underneath him, he didn’t want to lie to her about his intentions. He groaned and buried his face in her neck.

“Want you so much, Buffy. Want to bury myself in your heat and stay there for weeks.”

She wriggled her hips as though to ask, “What’s the problem?” and he chuckled in spite of himself. When he still didn’t make any attempt to enter her, she sighed and nudged him with her nose until he raised his head.

“I know you’re not my Spike. I know you don’t love me – that you think you’re taking advantage of me somehow. And I love that you can worry about that when I never...” She pushed aside all thoughts of the months she used his body with no thought to what she might be doing to him emotionally, and continued, “but I AM a big girl. And I want this. I want to feel you inside me, feel you... I just want to feel you... again. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

His perceptive eyes bored into her completely open and honest gaze until he saw what he wanted to know and he nodded his head as he leaned toward her mouth.

“Alright, luv. That pretty much uses up any ability I might have had to talk myself out of it.”

With that he captured her mouth again and began an oral assault on her that continued until she was gasping his name and almost sobbing with need. He kissed her until she had to stop to gasp for air, and while she was filling her lungs, he moved his mouth down to her breasts and feasted on the pebble-like nipples he found there.

When he began sucking on one of them and she arched up into his mouth with a whimper, he smiled to himself as he added, “likes her nipples sucked on” to the things he was learning about her. He worked his way down her body, tasting her silky skin as he went and committing the feel and taste and scent of her body to his memory.

When he got to her damp curls, the scent of her arousal made his cock so hard it ached. As much as loved Drusilla, he had to admit that she had never had this effect on him. He buried his face and began to seek out the source of the ambrosia he was inhaling. He pushed his tongue gently into her folds and ran it around the outer lips, dipping down to her entrance to lap up the continuous moisture he found there.

When he began flicking her clit with his tongue, her soft whimpers became higher and more frantic as he teased her unmercifully. When the whimpers turned to sobs, he relented and pulled the throbbing nubbin into his mouth and sucked on it until her hips shot up and her thighs clenched around his head.

Before she could recover from that orgasm, he had crawled up her body and placed the head of his cock at her opening. He nudged his way in as far as he could go, and when he met the barrier they both knew he was going to find, he paused to ask, “Are you ready, luv? I’ll make it as painless as I can.”

Her response was to grab his ass with both hands and pull him toward her hard enough to begin the tear. Fighting to control his demon when the scent of blood reached his nostrils, he pushed gently, entering her a little further with each push and stretching the tissue a little more each time.

When she brought her legs up around his back to give him better access he stopped trying to ease his way in and with a shove of his hips, he buried himself to the hilt in her warm wetness. He held still once he was in, while she got her breath back and got used to him. Her walls felt like warm velvet and he groaned when she tightened them around him gasping, “Oh my god, I’ve missed this. Missed you.”

He began moving slowly, giving her time to feel the pleasure out weigh the remaining pain, but it wasn’t long before he was pounding into her and gasping his own nonsense words in her ear.

“You feel so good, luv. Oh, like that, Slayer. Squeeze me again, pet. Feels so good. You’re so tight, so hot and wet for me. Oh my god, Buffy. Feels like bloody heaven, your cunny does.”

“Spike, Spike, Spike,” Buffy maintained a steady chant of his name as she wrapped her arms and legs around him as though she would hold him to her by pure slayer strength.

When he felt her begin to quiver and her whimpered chant turned into a keening wail, he let himself surrender to the tension building in his balls and he joined her in finding release. As he did, his demon emerged and before he could stop himself, his fangs had nicked the skin on her neck and he was lapping at the drops of blood there.

Once again the taste of her blood was overwhelming and he found himself murmuring, “Mine” against her skin.

“Yours,” she breathed in agreement. “Always yours.”


	3. Thirteen through Twenty-five

**Chapter Thirteen**

As coherent thought came back, the vampire dropped his head to the floor in despair.

 _Bloody hell. I claimed her. What was I...This is not good. I claimed a slayer. And after tellin’ her I’m leavin’ here and never comin’ back._

He picked his head up and pulled back to meet her joyful eyes. He was still buried inside her warmth and truly had no desire to leave that place yet, but his shock at what his demon had done was stronger than the urge to stay there until he was hard enough to have another go. He reluctantly pulled out of her and rolled off to the side on his back.

He kept one arm around her and she immediately curled into his body, throwing one arm across his chest and looking up at him expectantly.

“Buffy, pet, I’m sorry. I never meant to do that—didn’t even really bite you. It was just a little nick and the demon...”

“The demon tried to claim me. I know what it means, Spike. Why do you think I said it to you when I gave you that spectacular – if I say so myself – hickey?”

“But I shouldn’t have done it, luv. I’m not plannin’ on comin’ back. I keep trying to tell you that, but you just won’t listen to reason. Bloody stubborn woman! Why won’t you believe me?”

“Because I know you, Spike,” she said softly, reaching up with one hand to stroke his agitated face. “I know you’re going to come back to me. It might take a while, and... and I won’t be very happy while you’re gone, but I know you’re coming back. And I’ll be waiting for you.”

“I can’t leave her, Buffy. She needs me. She depends on me to take care of her and to... love her.”

Buffy wisely refrained from pointing out that this woman who was so dependent on him was currently banging his grandsire so frequently and loudly that it had driven him out of the building. She knew that Spike was blaming Angelus for it and would forgive Dru. It was his nature to forgive the women he loved, no matter how much they hurt him.

“I know, my love,” she said, stroking his face again. “It’s okay. You wouldn’t be you if you could switch allegiance that easily. I have to earn your love. And Dru has to—” She stopped herself from revealing what she knew of his future with the insane vampire. “You’ll come back when you’re ready, and I’ll be here.”

The confidence in her voice frightened him. She was so sure of herself. Just as he was sure that he could never love anyone the way he did his dark princess. The dark princess who was currently seeing that her sire received continuous happiness-inducing orgasms all night. That thought made him tighten his arm around the Slayer and she slid over onto his body, reminding him that he had his own source of happiness at hand.

Giving up any attempt to convince her that she was wrong about him and their future, he ran his hands down the silky skin of her back and cupped her round butt cheeks in his hands, pulling her up so that the head of his rapidly hardening cock was nudging at her entrance.

“You okay for another go, pet?” he asked, concerned that she might be sore. “Don’t want to hurt you... not much, anyway,” he added with a leer.

“I can handle it, vampire. I’m a Slayer, remember? I’ve been hurt a lot worse for a lot less reward. You haven’t begun to hurt me enough to—”

She was interrupted when he pushed her hips down onto his cock and she couldn’t control the slight flinch when he pushed against her torn flesh. Immediately, he stopped and looked at her anxiously. Even while he cursed his inner William for being the biggest ponce in the world, he was apologizing and lifting her off.

“It’s okay,” she said softly, nuzzling his neck and licking the mark she’d made, “Please, don’t stop.”

“I think it’s bleedin’ again, luv,” he managed to get out. His demon was almost drooling as the smell of her blood mixed with arousal sent it into a frenzy.

“Maybe you could kiss it better?” she offered breathlessly.

“Good plan,” he agreed, pulling her up to his face. “Nothin’ like vamp saliva to help a wound heal...” He settled her over his mouth and let his tongue slide inside to lap up the mixture of blood and moisture he found there. Buffy gasped when she felt his cool tongue moving around inside her, searching for any trace of bleeding or torn tissue.

While she supported herself on her knees and hands, she tried to let him guide her hips wherever he wanted them to be. It wasn’t long, though, before she was moving her hips in small circles, unable to keep still as his talented tongue moved from her now soothed entrance to the little nubbin begging for attention. When he pulled it into his mouth and bit down gently she shrieked, trying to muffle the sound by turning her head toward her shoulder.

He quickly pulled her back down and without pausing, slipped into her thoroughly ready entrance. There was no pain this time, and no blood as Spike’s attentions had set the healing in motion and her accelerated Slayer healing had taken over mending the tiny tear. She sat up and smiled down at him as she began to squeeze his cock rhythmically. When his hands reached for her breasts this time, she didn’t bat them away, but arched her back and thrust them into his hands.

He didn’t think he’d ever seen anything as beautiful or erotic as the sun tanned girl writhing on top of him. Without moving her hips at all, she was managing to bring him to the edge of another orgasm just using her internal muscles.

When his appreciative murmuring took on an urgency that couldn’t be ignored, she fell forward onto his chest and allowed his moving hips to give her clit the friction it needed. With matching gasps, they shook with intensity of their orgasms and clutched each other as waves of pleasure swept over them.

This time, Spike remained inside her warm body as she lay against his chest and whispered his name. He held her lightly, more than willing to be used as a pillow as long as he could stay inside her warmth a while longer.

Buffy stayed where she was as long as she could, knowing this was the last time she would have him like this until Drusilla’s infidelity sent him running back to Sunnydale next year. As much as she dreaded the upcoming months without him, the knowledge that he was alive and that he would be coming back made it bearable and she prepared herself for losing him again, albeit, temporarily this time.

“I love you, Spike,” she breathed in his ear. Without waiting for a response, she kissed him gently and lifted herself off his body, suppressing the whimper that threatened to emerge when he slid out of her.

Spike made no attempt to hide his reaction to the loss of her warmth, and he growled when she moved away from him. She just looked at him sadly and said, “It’s almost dawn. You can stay here today, if you want. There’s a cot in the basement. I have to get some sleep and then see what Willow and Jenny have come up with in the way of soul-restoring spells.”

“You’re going to try to put it back?” he asked incredulously. “Now that you know it’s not permanent? Are you daft? Do you have any idea what Angelus is like, Buffy?”

“Actually, I do,” she answered quite seriously, as she pulled on her jeans. She’d given up the search for her underwear, although she’d been sure she’d taken them off at the same time as the jeans. Completely ignoring Spike’s indignant snort, she turned her back to him so that he could fasten her bra for her and continued talking without answering his grumbled, “I’m more used to undoin’ these, pet.”

 

“If Jenny and Willow haven’t been able to come up with it today, I’ll... I’ll probably kill him. I can’t take a chance that he’ll be able to....” She stopped and shook herself. “But I’m sure between the two of them they’ve been able to find something. Even if it’s only a temporary fix until we figure out a way to anchor his soul. I owe him that much. All you have to do is help me distract him and control Drusilla until we can get the spell done.”

He peered at her uncertainly. This business-like Slayer was quite different from the perky little girl who’d been tormenting him since he arrived in Sunnydale. And different from the experienced, affectionate woman in a girl’s body with whom he’d just made love. He was a little chilled at her matter of fact discussion of killing the vampire she professed to still care about.

This Slayer was different from the other’s he’d fought in more ways than one. He reminded himself that she’d survived him, Angelus, and five or six more years of vampires, demons and potentially world ending apocalypses. He looked at her with new respect, asking, “Then what, pet?”

“Then I guess you’ll leave and take her away from here. She’s healed now and if she stays here I’ll have to kill her sooner or later. If you love her, you’ll take her very far away. That was your plan wasn’t it?” She looked at him steadily. “Make Dru better and kill another Slayer?”

His bowels clenched as she reminded him of his original intent.

“I don’t want to kill you anymore, Buffy. You know that. But I won’t let you stake Drusilla.”

She looked at him coldly. “You couldn’t stop me if I wanted to do it. And I should. She’s a killer.” She stared into his suddenly narrowed eyes and continued with a sigh, “But you’d never forgive me, and I don’t want that. So I’m letting you take her away. Just be sure she doesn’t come back. No train massacres this time around.”

He knew she was referring to something that had happened in her future, and filed it away to worry about later. He stood up and began to dress, hiding her lace underwear in his back pocket as he pulled on his jeans. When he was dressed and had put his duster back on, they stood, both looking awkwardly at the floor.

Finally Buffy moved toward him and laid her hand against his chest. He could feel the heat from her hand through his tee shirt and unconsciously leaned in to it. She ran her hand lightly over his chest, smoothing the shirt out as she did, then dropped it to her side.

“You better get back to them, if you aren’t going to stay here. I don’t want them to suspect you’re helping me.”

“No way to hide what we’ve been doin’, pet. You’re all over me, jus’ like I’m all over you. A raw fledgling would know what we’ve been doin’ – not to mention our new neck decorations.” He gestured to the small cuts his fangs had made on her neck and the slowly fading love bite she’d left on him.

“A shower and a change of clothes will take care of most of it,” she suggested. “Do you really think they’re going to know where the marks came from? If they can even see them, by then.”

“I dunno, love. I didn’t really bite you, so I don’t think it’s gonna be an obvious claim. But if either one of them gets close enough to try to drain you... I dunno. We’ll see, I guess.” He looked at her closely. “Don’t think it’s gonna be real strong, and it probably won’t last once I’m gone.”

He saw the disappointment flash across her face briefly, but before he could say anything else, the Slayer’s mask was back in place and he decided to let it go.

“Ok, then. I guess that’s it until we’re ready to make our move. You’ll just have to wait until we show up, I guess. I hope it’s going to be tonight, but it might take a day or two. If I could think of some way to let you know...”

“ ’S alright, pet. I’ll jus’ hang close and keep an eye on ‘em. Hard to tell what they might get up to what with Angelus havin’ to be good for so many years. He’s probably bustin’ with schemes to destroy the world or somethin’”

“Good guess.” She smiled at him sadly. “But I’m going to try to keep it from getting that far this time.”

“Sun’s comin’ up, luv. I’ve got to go. Got to find a place I can clean up before I go back to the factory.”

“I know,” she said softly, tilting her face up toward his. He leaned down and their lips met one last time in a kiss that started out very chaste and deepened into something he didn’t want to examine too closely. He knew that the taste of this girl’s lips would haunt him for a long time to come and he almost groaned as she pulled away.

“Good-bye, Spike,” she whispered, dipping her hand into his back pocket and stealing back her underwear.

“Hey! I stole those fair and square, Slayer! And how did you....” he stopped and shook his head at himself. “Oh yeah, almost forgot.”

“I know you,” she smirked, waving them in his face.

“God help me, you do,” he said as he let himself out the door into the rapidly dwindling darkness. “You do.”

 

 **Chapter Fourteen**

Buffy stood in the doorway until she couldn’t see his flaring leather coat anymore, then slowly closed it, fighting back the feeling that he was leaving her forever. She walked around the living room, picking cushions and brushing any trace of what they’d been doing out of the rug.

Just as she had when she used to leave his crypt without any sleep, she went up to her room and got into bed without cleaning herself off. She drifted off to sleep surrounded by the scent of Spike and really relaxed for the first time in years.

After a few hours of restorative sleep, she showered, got dressed and headed for the school to see what Jenny and Willow had come up with. She was relieved to find that they had found the basic words of the curse on a web site dealing with ancient gypsy customs. Willow was confident that between the soul-restoring spell she had found, and Jenny’s curse, they could restore Angel’s soul if they could just get close enough to him without being killed.

“Okay,” Buffy said, “That’s where Spike and I come in.”

“Spike? What does the bleached menace have to do with it?” Xander sputtered. “Isn’t he part of the problem?”

“Xander, were you not listening the other night?” Giles’ impatience was evident in his voice. “As much as we might prefer it not be the case, Buffy trusts Spike to help her out when she needs it. Please remain quiet if you can’t contribute anything useful.”

The angry boy stood up and spread his arms.

“The only thing I’d like to contribute is a hammer to help her drive stakes into all three of those bloodsuckers. I knew Angel would break bad some day, and now she wants us to trust another undead thing on her say so. I say if all she’s learned in six years is to switch one bloodsucking boyfriend for another… she’s not as smart as she wants us to think she is.”

There was a tense silence in the room when Xander finished his tirade and Buffy knew that everyone else was thinking their own version of the same thing. For just a second, she was back in her time, breaking Spike’s heart every time she left him; so afraid her friends would find out that she was sleeping with him and condemn her for it. She shook those memories off and fixed Xander with a cold stare.

He’d never seen an adult Buffy in full Slayer mode, and he unconsciously cringed back against the table while Giles moved to intercept her if she should attack the boy. Instead, Buffy just glared at him until he sat down with an ashamed expression on his face.

When he was again seated at the table, she looked around the room and said, “Let me try this one more time. In the future, my future, Spike helps us multiple times. He has opportunities to kill each of you several times, but never does it. Even after he’s—even when he is temporarily rendered incapable of physically hurting any of you, he could have had minions do it. And, when I’m… gone… he stays and takes care of… and he helps all of you patrol. He saves each of you multiple times. You and the people you care about. You’d have been dead ten times over without his extra muscle.

“I’m pretty sure I mentioned the burning to death to save the world from the First Evil – just in case all the other world save-age, enduring torture, being constantly insulted by all of you and still helping us….You know what? I don’t have to defend him or my feelings for him. He earned every bit of trust and respect I can give him and if I can keep him from having to endure any of that other stuff this time? Bonus points for me.”

She turned away from their open mouthed stares and said, “Now let’s figure out when and how we’re going to do this. I think late afternoon would be good. They’ll just be waking up and probably won’t have left the factory yet.”

As though the whole previous scene hadn’t taken place, she went back to planning the afternoon’s assault on the Factory. When she said that Spike was to be allowed to take Drusilla with him, she squelched Xander’s complaint with one look and went on with the plan.

 

Spike broke into a vacant home and showered off any trace of the Slayer. He stepped under the water wearing all his clothes and rinsed her scent off them as best he could, then stripped and let the water run over his body.

He leaned against the tiled wall, supporting himself with one hand while the hot water beat down on his shoulders. The heat made him think of Buffy and the incredible way her warmth drew him. He’d never been attracted to a human woman since he’d been turned. In fact, he rarely looked at anyone other than his dark princess, even though he knew she occasionally strayed.

But this tiny girl, this incredibly sexy woman in a girl’s body, reached places in his psyche that he didn’t even know existed. Never had he met a woman, vampire or slayer, who was his equal in a fight; and here was one who could take him whenever she wanted to. He didn’t doubt her when she said she knew all his moves. When he thought back to the fights he’d seen, he could see it. The sudden leg sweep after a feinted high kick, the frontal attack that turned into a flip over the opponent’s head, those were his moves. Moves he’d taught her.

That led to thoughts of the other things he’d obviously taught her and he was suddenly hard again remembering her mouth and hands on his cock. He groaned with the ache that was settling in his balls to match the throbbing in his cock at the thought of the soft and yet so strong body he’d been allowed to enjoy. Even thoughts of Dru and Angelus, shagging each other bloody back in the factory couldn’t push away the vision of her tanned body riding him, and with an angry snarl, he grabbed the soap, quickly using its slippery foam to take the edge off what he was afraid was about to become a permanent condition.

When he had finished his shower, he put his damp clothes back on and, stealing a curtain off the window to throw over his head, he bolted out the door and down a manhole. Using his uncanny sense of direction and smell, he found his way to the factory through the sewers and tunnels under the city. He wasn’t happy with what the water was doing to his boots, but thought it would help to cover any lingering smell from the Slayer.

He gingerly fingered the place on his neck where she had sucked so hard on his skin that she left a mark. He remembered her whispered “mine” and shuddered a little at the thought of being bound to a Slayer. Telling himself that there hadn’t been any actual exchange of blood, and no reciprocating on his part, he tried to shrug it off as a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing that she didn’t mean. He blithely ignored the reciprocated claim that he’d put on her later the same evening.

When he finally emerged through the basement of the factory, he was, for once, more grateful than jealous that Angelus and Dru were so wrapped up in each other. They barely acknowledged his arrival and paid no attention when he shed his wet clothes and replaced them with new dry ones. He threw the wet ones down to another level of the building and went off to sleep by himself in a far corner of the big room.

 

Angelus and Dru went back to where they had been since the vampire’s return to the fold – on the double bed mattress that Spike had installed in a side room for Dru to rest on until she recovered. The sounds coming from the room told Spike she definitely had her strength back and he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to block out the sounds of her screams and whimpers as she cried out her happiness at her “daddy’s” return.

He was finally able to drift off to sleep when he allowed himself to visualize silky golden hair, soft pink lips, and warm green eyes smiling up at him.

When Spike woke up, his instincts told him it was late afternoon and he got up and stretched, wondering if the red-haired witch and the gypsy woman had come up with a way to shove a soul back into the other vampire.

 _That or the Slayer’s gonna shove a sharp piece of wood into his chest. No way is Angelus gonna take this little girl. I’m guessing she knows him as well as she knows me and he never was all that great a fighter anyway. More of a bully than a warrior._

He was smiling at the thought of the ass-kicking Buffy was going to give Angelus when he and Dru came out of the their room. Dru cocked her head at Spike and began in a singsong voice, “Spike’s been a bad puppy. My sweet William’s been playing in the sun. The sun makes him smile, but it will burn him.”

Angelus just shook his head at her babbling, but Spike got very still as he realized what she was saying. Even without being close enough to smell him or see the mark on his neck, she knew what he’d been doing. He decided to brave it out, shrugging as he lit a cigarette and blew smoke at her.

“Fair’s fair, pet. Jus’ getting’ a little of my own back.”

She rolled her eyes in a way that told him she wasn’t fooled at all, but then spun away from Angelus and began to dance slowly to music only she could hear. As she danced, she sang nonsense words that meant nothing to either vampire.

Angelus didn’t approach the younger vamp. He clearly expected Spike to be very angry about losing Dru and was wary of him. Even though Angelus was the older of the two by almost a century, he’d spent enough years toughening Spike up and teaching him to fight to respect the other vamp’s fists and fangs. No one took joy in a fight the way Spike did, and Angelus had no desire to be on the receiving end of the other vamp’s jealous rage. He was mildly surprised that Spike didn’t appear angrier than he was, but put if off as the result of an all-night binge and a hangover.

He extended an uncertain peace offering to his grandchild, saying, “We’re going to go hunting as soon as the sun is down all the way. Do you want to come with us?”

Spike looked at him coldly and turned away without answering. Suddenly he felt the fading mark on his neck tingle and his head flew up so that he could listen.

“Show time,” he whispered to himself as he waited for the Slayer to appear.

 

 **Chapter Fifteen**

Buffy felt a tingle in the healed scratches on her neck and knew that Spike’s unintentional claiming was still active. She paused and shut her eyes for a second and was rewarded with a wash of excitement and anticipation that she knew was coming from him. Wishing she knew more about claiming and the side effects, she tried to send a message of confidence and warning but couldn’t tell if he received it or not.

In a whispered conversation, she told Jenny and Willow where they could hide while they worked on the combined curse/spell. Her intent was to keep Angelus busy fighting her long enough for them to work their magic on his demon.

“I promise you,” she said to Willow’s frightened face, “I will not let him near you. If it comes down to it, I’ll stake him and let the future worry about itself. You just stay behind the machinery, and let me do the rest.”

“And what about William the Bloody and Drusilla?” Jenny asked quietly. “I believe you when you say Spike won’t harm you or us, but what is to prevent his consort from doing to us what she did to Kendra?”

“Spike will,” Buffy said shortly. “All right, let’s go.”

When Spike felt Buffy approaching, he suddenly became very animated and began stalking toward Angelus, growling about his having “taken my soddin’ woman for the last time.” Keeping one eye on Drusilla, who had stopped dancing to watch with interest the two vampires preparing to fight over her, he insulted, provoked and generally distracted Angelus to prevent the older vampire from hearing the entrance of Buffy and the witches.

Had Drusilla not whirled at the sound of Willow sneezing in the dusty room he might have been able to keep the other vamp busy until the spell was well underway. However, the sneeze and Dru’s subsequent wail of, “The sun is here to take my daddy away,” tore Angelus’s attention off the advancing vampire and focused it on the petite form entering the room.

“Well, hello, lover,” he crooned. “I didn’t really expect to see you so soon. Thought you’d want to take a while to mourn the passing of your boyfriend.”

Buffy blinked at him in genuine confusion for a second, before she realized that he meant his souled self and not Spike. Angel had not heard her speech about Spike’s unconditional love for her and apparently thought he was still the love of her life, even though she thought she had made it clear that they had no future together.

When she realized what he meant, she smiled grimly and said, “Haven’t lost him yet, demon.”

While she and Angelus were exchanging pleasantries, Drusilla was working her way toward the Slayer, swaying back and forth like a cobra as she did so.

“Sunshine thinks she has captured my sweet William. She wants to pull both my lovely boys into the light with her, but they don’t want to leave their dark princess, do they Miss Edith?”

She cocked her head as though listening for a reply, then snarled at the Slayer.

“Miss Edith says you tried to take what’s mine. She says I should kill you like I did the other Slayer.”

As Dru moved closer, trying to get the Slayer to look her in the eye, Spike was crossing the room swiftly and he grabbed her around the waist just as she got to Buffy. Although Buffy was careful not to look the insane vampire in the eyes, she couldn’t help but be distracted by her weaving approach and sing song voice.

When Spike grabbed Drusilla before she could reach for the Slayer, Buffy’s attention was distracted enough that Angelus was able to leap for her, his weight carrying them both to the floor. The force of the fall with the vampire’s large body on top knocked the wind out of her and she was immobilized for a few seconds as she struggled to get air into her lungs.

Angelus took advantage of that to pull her hands over her head and fully pin her down, using his legs to hold hers still. When she tried to buck him off, she could feel his erection pressing into her crotch and she recoiled reflexively.

“Oh,” he snarled, “the virtuous little bitch doesn’t like that, eh? Maybe before I kill you, I’ll have to pop that cherry you’re so proud of.”

“Too late,” she snarled back as she bashed her forehead into his face and tried to pull her arms free. She cursed her sixteen-year-old self for the baby fat coating the body that had become taut with muscle in her own time. She knew that if she was in her own body she would have been able to overpower the large vampire, but in this body she felt more helpless than she had in years.

While Spike was busy trying to contain a shrieking, struggling Drusilla, Angelus bared his fangs and prepared to sink them into Buffy’s exposed neck. Just as he reached for her throat, the marks on it flared into visibility and Buffy could feel them emitting some sort of power. The snarling vampire recoiled in fear and astonishment as Spike’s claim became visible, allowing Buffy to free one hand and use it to push his head back far enough for her to wriggle out from under him. She rolled to her feet and fell into a fighting stance as he gaped at her

“You… you’ve been claimed! How… who… no one claims a Slayer.” His surprise was replaced with anger, “No vampire claims what’s mine. I’ll kill you and him.” He advanced on the slayer, snarling the whole time. “Tell me who it was. Did you stake him for it, or do I get to rip his head off?”

Surprised that he couldn’t tell that the tiny marks belonged to Spike, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief that she could feel was echoed by the the vamp still wrestling with Drusilla. The dark vampiress was shrieking about spells and witches and gypsies and tearing at Spike with her nails and teeth in an effort to break loose and attack Willow and Jenny.

Buffy couldn’t risk taking her eyes off Angelus long enough to watch the seer, and she prayed that Spike would be able to control her while she kept the fuming master vampire busy. When he charged her again, she was ready for him and leaped over his head, kicking him as she did so. She whirled and planted another kick in his back, sending him to the floor hard enough to stun him. When she didn’t follow up with a stake in his back, he staggered back to his feet with a knowing smile.

“You can’t kill me, can you, lover? I knew you couldn’t. It would break your little teen-aged heart.”

He stalked toward her, only to be met with a flurry of punches and kicks that put him back on the floor, bruised and bleeding, but undusted. He sat there, blinking up at her angrily.

“Give it up, Buffy. Admit it. You. Can’t. Kill. Me. You love me too much.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at his arrogance and spat back at him, “I can kill you, if I have to. News flash, Angelus, I already have. Sent you right to hell, in spite of how much I loved you. And, Angel? This time around? I don’t think I even like you very much.”

“Then why haven’t you…” His face showed his sudden understanding and he leapt to his feet with a roar. “Where are they? You’re stalling me! Trying to put that miserable soul back. I don’t want it, Slayer. I won’t go back to being what I was.”

Buffy positioned herself between the furious vampire and the large piece of machinery behind which Willow and Jenny were frantically chanting, trying to finish their combined spells before Buffy had to stake him.

Angelus’s roar had distracted Spike long enough for Drusilla to break free and she flew across the big room to where the chanting was almost ready to take her daddy away again. Buffy turned to run toward Drusilla and Angelus tackled her to the floor once again. This time he wasted no time on threats or taunting, just reached toward her nearest body part with his fangs. Spike was frozen in place for a fraction of a second, torn between saving Buffy and saving the two chanting women.

When Willow screamed, he crossed the floor in two leaps, tackling Drusilla away from the shrinking red head. Before the spitting, hissing vampire could rip into him again with her claws, he brought his fist up and with a soft, “Sorry, luv,” he connected a hard uppercut to her chin that knocked her unconscious. He gave Willow and Jenny an apologetic shrug; then whirled to help Buffy, only to find the Slayer kicking his grandsire’s semi-conscious body all over the room.

“If,” smack! “you,” whump! “don’t stop,” crack! “trying to bite me,” bam!, “I’m going to stake you anyway and the hell with your freakin’ redemption!”

He grinned in admiration as she punched and pummeled the large vampire until she could drag his unconscious body up to where Willow and Jenny were finishing their interrupted spell casting. She dropped him in front of the frightened women, put her hands on her hips and said, “Well?”

“Done!” Willow said, sagging with relief. Jenny nodded her head and they all turned to watch Angelus’s body stiffen and shake as the spell hit him and his soul was restored. Turning from the now-groaning vampire, Buffy looked from Spike to the still unconscious Drusilla. She reached a tentative hand toward his bleeding face, which was covered in cuts from his lover’s claws.

He flinched back away from her hand and cringed at the pain that flashed across her face.

“We need to go, Slayer. She’s gonna be really brassed off when she wakes up. Better if we’re on our way to South America by then.” The two stared at each other for what seemed like forever before he said, softly, “I’m sorry, Buffy. I wish it could be different.”

She nodded silently, afraid to trust her voice as he lifted the limp vampiress to his shoulder and turned to go.

“Take care of yourself, luv,” he said as he walked out of the building without looking back.

“You too, Spike,” she whispered almost to herself. “Come back to me.”

 

 **Chapter Sixteen**

 **While Buffy waited for Angel to regain his senses, a stake handy just in case the spell didn’t work as they’d hoped, Willow and Jenny made their way back out of the factory just in time to see Xander aim a crossbow at Spike and pull the trigger.**

 **“Xander, no!” Willow screamed. Not quickly enough to prevent the bolt from leaving the bow, but enough for Spike to turn and take the missile in his shoulder rather than the back that Xander was aiming for. When he went down, snarling in pain, he lost his grip on Drusilla and she rolled out of his hands and landed on her feet. She looked from the bolt in Spike’s shoulder to the wide-eyed boy holding the crossbow and leaped at him, fangs and claws bared.**

 **With a groan, Spike pushed himself to his feet and grabbed her around the waist before she could do any more damage than rake her nails down Xander’s arm. Using his one good arm, he wrestled the angry vampire around so that she was facing him and told her, “No, Dru. I promised we’d leave without killin’ anybody.”**

 **“But my sweet Spike, he was trying to kill you. And after you were such a bad puppy and helped the Slayer. He deserves to be eaten.”**

 **“No doubt he does, pet. But I made a promise, and I plan to keep it. Now, help me to the car like a good girl.”**

 **Casting a look of lingering hunger and rage at Xander, the easily distracted vampire allowed Spike to lean on her while steering her toward his old Desoto. The humans stood and watched in amazement as he crawled painfully into the driver’s seat and started the car. As he began to pull out of the parking lot, the door of the factory opened and Buffy stepped out, followed closely by a shaken Angel.**

 **The big black car stopped beside the slayer for just long enough for her to see the crossbow bolt sticking out from Spike’s shoulder and to catch the expression of disgust and disappointment on his face. He looked into her wide, tear-filled eyes just long enough for her to register the pain under the anger; then shook his head and floored the big V8 to shoot out of the parking lot in a spray of gravel.**

 **Buffy stalked toward the small group of humans arguing among themselves with much yelling and waving of arms and froze them all with a “Which one of you did that?” in her best Slayer voice.**

 **Even Giles was afraid to move as her now dry and very cold eyes went from person to person. When she got to Xander, he tried very hard to hide the crossbow, but she snatched it from his hand and broke it over her knee.**

 **“I might have known! Damn! I _should_ have known. You’ve never been willing to…” She stopped to take a deep breath, and threw her hands up in the air. “Stay away from me, Xander. I mean really, really away from me.”**

 **She walked back over to Angel, peering into his eyes to make sure there was no trace of Angelus before she left.**

 **‘We’re going to talk about those marks, Buffy. I haven’t forgotten them.” His eyes bored into hers, the anger still lurking in their depths but now competing with the pain that came with knowing she was serious when she told him they weren’t together in her future.**

 **“We will, Angel. I promise. I’ll explain as much as I can. But not tonight. Tonight I need to be alone.” She turned and without saying anything to her Watcher or friends, she disappeared into the night, seeking something to kill and some privacy.**

 **He nodded and started walking toward the apprehensive group watching him. He watched as Xander moved unobtrusively behind Giles at his approach and he knew it was going to take a while before Buffy’s friends accepted and trusted him again.**

 **_And, they would be right not to. Now that we know how easily the soul can be jarred loose._**

 **He paused in front of Giles and looked the man in the eye.**

 **“I’m sorry,” he said. “I had no idea that would happen. We need to find a way to anchor my soul.”**

 **Giles nodded, and gestured at his car. “Yes, I believe that might be the first order of business now that Spike and Drusilla have left Sunnydale.”**

 **“They left?”**

 **“Yes, it appears that Buffy and Spike had an arrangement – a new arrangement – that he would assist her in restoring your soul and she would allow him to take Drusilla away from here…without harming anyone,” he added, casting a hard look at an unrepentant Xander.**

 **“You saw that crazy bitch! She was going to kill me!”**

 **“I also saw you shoot her lover, and saw him save you from her in spite of his wound. It would appear that William the Bloody is a… vampire… of his word.”**

 **Angel nodded and agreed with a sigh, “If Spike promises to do something, he doesn’t quit until he has done it. I suppose that would hold true if he promised not to do something also.”**

 **“He is certainly not your average vampire,” Giles said, wondering how much Angel knew about Buffy’s future with his grandchilde.**

 **“Never has been,” Angel agreed without further explanation.**

 **The small group of humans and the re-souled vampire squeezed themselves into the watcher’s aging car and headed back into the residential part of Sunnydale.**

 **~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 **After he dropped Willow and Xander off at their homes, Giles let Angel out near his apartment and headed for his apartment complex, pulling tiredly into the parking lot with a sigh.**

 **He got out and opened the door for Jenny, marveling that it had been only slightly more than twenty-four hours since Angelus had appeared and sent them all into crisis mode. None of them had slept since Buffy notified them of his condition, and they were all exhausted.**

 **Within an hour, they were all sleeping soundly, with the exception of Angel, who was lying on his bed and reflecting on his brief time as Angelus.**

 **_I wonder what I did in Buffy’s time that made her so determined to get my soul back – and why she was able to get Spike to agree with it? He had no reason to care if I was eating half of Sunnydale._ **

**He shook his head at his own sense of denial, knowing good and well that Spike’s reason had everything to do with getting his “dark princess” back and nothing to do with concerns about what Angelus might have done to the human population of Sunnydale.**

 **Thinking about Spike and Buffy reminded him of the tiny mark on Buffy’s throat that had felt just like a claim, albeit not a strong enough claim for him to identify the vampire who made it.**

 **_I suppose it’s possible it was a random vamp that happened to get a little taste before she staked him. But why would a vamp bent on dinner bother to take the time to try to claim her?_ **

**He added that to the list of things he wanted Buffy to explain to him when she was willing to talk again. He was slightly puzzled by her obvious unhappiness and desire to be alone, but attributed it to the trauma of having someone she loved turn into a monster before her eyes. He frowned, remembering what she’d implied about her lack of virginity when Angelus was taunting her with rape.**

 **_Maybe she was thinking about her older self. No doubt by the time she got into her 20’s, she had a boyfriend or two. She couldn’t have meant this Buffy. I would know if she’d done anything like that. She’s never even gone out with anyone but me, and I’ve never tried to touch her._ **

**~~~~~~~~~**

 **The only other one not sleeping the sleep of the righteous and exhausted was the Slayer herself. She prowled Sunnydale’s cemeteries, catching up with all the fledglings that had emerged while she was home with her mother and Spike. By the time she had dusted her tenth vampire, and pummeled a belligerent grackle demon into a mewling lump of flesh, she was feeling enough in control of her anger that she thought she might be able to be around Xander without wanting to throttle him.**

 **She cringed, remembering not only the obviously painful wound on Spike’s shoulder, but the hurt in his eyes at the apparent betrayal of their agreement.**

 **_At least in this time, I didn’t do it myself. He knows what Xander is like – no wait, this Spike doesn’t know. He’ll think he was shot on my orders._ **

_**Anger at her friend flared again as she worried about what effect the suspected betrayal might have on Spike’s willingness to come back to Sunnydale. She was already worried that the short amount of time they’d had together, and the quickness with which they’d resoulled Angel, might have changed things so much that Drusilla wouldn’t leave him for the Chaos demon she’d taken up with in her time.** _

_**Telling herself she could do nothing but wait and see what happened in this Buffy’s future, she turned her feet toward home, hoping for a couple of hours of sleep before she had to go to school and pretend to be a sixteen-year-old high school student again.** _

__

_****Chapter Seventeen** ** _

_When they all gathered in the library at the end of the school day, there was uncomfortable silence while everyone waited for someone else to start the meeting. With a sigh, Giles took his glasses off and polished them before saying to Willow, “ I suppose we all owe you and Ms Calendar a great debt for restoring Angel’s soul. I’m sure he will thank you in person once he thinks we are ready to trust him again.”_

 _“I’m NOT ready to trust him again,” Xander grumbled. “He’s an evil bloodsucker and now we know what he’s like without the soul.”_

 _“You have no idea what Angel is like without his soul.” Buffy’s voice was hard and cold, to match the look she gave the angry boy. “You have no idea how lucky we are that we knew what happened, when it happened, and were able to put the soul back within a very short amount of time.”_

 _She looked around the table at the curious faces. “That wasn’t the way it went in my time. We had months to learn exactly what Angelus was really like and why he was so feared. Trust me when I tell you to be grateful you didn’t have to learn that the hard way.”_

 _“Well, why don’t you tell us what he was like, then?” Xander asked belligerently. “Let us in on what we’re missing.”_

 _Buffy exchanged looks with Jenny Calendar and Giles before saying firmly, “No. He hasn’t done any of those things in this time line and I don’t want to give you reason to condemn him for things _this_ Angel hasn’t done.”_

“So, what? You’re just gonna go through this life being all-knowing girl and not warn us about things we might need to know? That’s not fair.”

“Neither is allowing you to punish Angel for something he hasn’t done.”

“Do you really think we could be that unfair, Buffy?” Willow asked plaintively. “That we would blame somebody for stuff he didn’t do?”

“No, Willow,” she answered softly, “I KNOW you can be that unfair. All of you,” she added, shooting a look at Giles.

Her two friends stared at her in dismay, but Giles just looked back at her speculatively.

“We’re not just talking about Angel here, are we, Buffy?”

The Slayer looked back at his concerned face and said flatly, “No, we are not just taking about Angel.”

He looked like he wanted to pursue the subject, but Jenny’s gentle hand on his arm stopped him and he just nodded instead.

Cordelia, who had been uncharacteristically silent up until now, broke into the heavy silence with, “Okay, if that’s out of the way, let’s get to the really important stuff. What’s going to be in style this Spring? We need to go to the mall so you can help me shop. Not that I’m interested in having you pick out my clothes,” she added in panicky haste.

“Not really interested in that myself,” Buffy said, rolling her eyes. “Try to remember, guys. I’m not really sixteen, and I’ve had a lot of really important stuff on my mind the last couple of years. As surprising as it may seem, shopping for clothes hasn’t been real high on my ‘to do’ list.”

Cordelia huffed indignantly and poked Xander in the arm. “See? I told you, she’s going to be even less fun to be around now.”

Buffy rolled her eyes again and turned to speak to Giles and Willow. She was having trouble figuring out how much to include the computer sciences teacher in the conversations, knowing that in her time the woman’s silence about who she really was had contributed to the release of Angelus.

“Buffy,” her watcher began, “as much as I hate to agree with Xander, I really think it would be useful for you to fill us in on any possibly dangerous situations that could arise.”

Buffy sighed and slumped into a chair.

“I know you’re right, Giles. It’s just so hard to know what might be important now, and what won’t matter. I thought I had everything under control, and then Angel lost his soul anyway. And then he and Dru did the same things they did in my time and Spike offered to help me get rid of Anglelus just like he did then, but Kendra got killed anyway... I just don’t know what to tell you about.”

“Could we begin with a quick summary of the year in your time? Perhaps if we know what has remained the same and what is different, we can help you figure out the remaining dangers.”

“In my time, Spike and then Angelus WERE the dangers, but I guess you’re right. Let me figure out where I want to start.”

“Why not start with the arrival of Spike and Drusilla in your time? Tell us what would have happened if you hadn’t done… whatever you did… differently.”

“Yeah, Buffy. And then tell us what you did differently this time.”

Remembering how she had teased Spike when she had him pinned at Back to School Night, Buffy blushed bright red and wondered how she was going to handle that question without giving out way more information than she wanted to.

When she felt like she could speak without choking, she began an abbreviated version of events. She told about the set up fight at the Bronze, and how she pretty much let Spike make the same speech to her, even though she did tell him she knew he wouldn’t wait for Saturday.

When she told about their fight at Back to School Night and how he was preparing to kill her when her mother intervened with the axe, she saw Giles go pale as Willow and Xander gasped.

“He beat you? In your time, he won that fight?”

“Yeah, he did. Spike’s one hell of a fighter. I can’t say he would’ve killed me for sure – I wasn’t planning to lie there and wait to be clobbered with a wall stud – but he certainly could have. If he hadn’t stopped to gloat…”

She could see Giles muttering to himself, “If not for Joyce, he would have had his third Slayer. I had no idea he was such a powerful vampire…” He drifted off into research mode, not really following the conversation anymore.

“So, Buffster, what was different this time?”

“I was. I am – different. I’ve got all those years of experience, plus years of training with Spike. I know his moves, and he doesn’t know mine yet. I’m not as strong in this body as I am in the future, but I still have all that experience and training.”

“So, this time you won. And then what? He said, ‘Okay, you beat me. Let’s be friends?’” She could hear the disbelief in Xander’s voice.

“Let’s just say I was able to pique his curiosity with the things I know about him, and he was willing to talk to me about it. I never had a chance to tell him about the world save-age – except what he heard here, but the part where he helps me beat Angelus played out pretty much the same anyway.”

“Where does crazy vampire lady fit in?” Willow asked curiously. “Does she become a good guy too?”

Buffy snickered at the thought of Drusilla becoming a white hat and shook her head decisively.

“No, she stays evil and crazy. But he does take her far away and she never comes back. Well, she does once, but she doesn’t stay very long and then she goes away again. I think she spends some time in LA with Angel.”

“Angel moves to LA?” Jenny’s eyes narrowed and she began to pay more attention to the conversation.

Buffy turned to face the gypsy and answered her coldly, “Yes, if you’ll recall, I told you that in my time you don’t tell us who you really are and what you know about him until it’s too late. So you aren’t around to worry about his coming and going.”

Of the young people in the room, only Willow caught the implication and her eyes widened as she realized what Buffy meant.

“Who she really is?” Cordelia expressed an interest for only the second time all night.

Jenny Calendar looked at the curious young faces staring at her and then at the man she was coming to love. He shrugged and told her softly, “It’s up to you, but I think we’ve had enough secrets.”

She nodded and gave the expectant teenagers a short version of her family’s involvement in Angel’s curse. Buffy turned away and let her attention drift, as she already knew what was being said. She caught Giles looking at her thoughtfully again and knew at some point, she would have to tell him a cleaned up version of her relationship with Spike.

When Jenny had finished her explanation, and answered a couple of questions about gypsies, Willow brought the conversation back to where she wanted it.

“You say Drusilla never comes back – does Spike?”

“Yes,” Buffy answered softly, “he does. More than once, actually.”

“If I may,” Giles put in, “Buffy was doing a recap of important events over the next several months. Please, continue, Buffy.”

Buffy straightened up in her chair and rolled her shoulders.

“ ‘K, then, let me see. Short version: Ethan Rayne and Halloween – not so much fun; old boyfriend who wants to be a vampire –gets his wish, gets staked; the Judge – not bazooka-proof – although I guess we don’t have to worry about him now; Buffy’s birthday? Good day to stay in bed – alone.” She paused to look at their bewildered faces.

“What? That pretty much sums it up. Angelus isn’t here, so he’s not an issue. Spike and Dru are gone already, so they aren’t part of anything. I don’t really know what else we might have to worry about with them gone. No Big Bads, just regular boring vampires and sorcerers.”

“Oh!” she thought to herself out loud, “Unless Spike didn’t kill the Anointed One yet. That could be a problem.”

“Anointed one?”

“Yes, the Master’s little brat. Remember? The one that led me into the cave? Spike called him the Annoying One and sent him into the sun in my time, but I don’t know if he’s had time to do that yet here. I’ll have to go check on it, I guess.”

She seemed alarmingly unconcerned that the Master’s chosen successor might still be alive and Giles couldn’t resist asking, “I take it there’s no rush?”

Buffy cocked her head at him, wondering if she was detecting a note of sarcasm. She shrugged and answered, “Don’t see why there would be. It’s not like he’s got much left in the way of minions, after Spike and I—”

“Spike and I? Jeez, Buffy, just how much time have you been spending with that bloodsucker? He comes to town and you just blow us off.” He couldn’t hide the edge of jealously in his voice; even with his glaring girl friend sitting right beside him.

Buffy got up from her chair and stalked toward the pouting boy.

“For. The. Last. Time. I am not your Buffy. And I will not have my behavior or my relationships questioned by you or anyone else in the room. The idea that you would imagine you could talk to me like that after what you did to Spike…”

She stopped and visibly struggled to gain control of her temper.

“If he doesn’t come back because he thinks I told you to…” She shuddered slightly. “You’ll wish you weren’t seeing much of me.”

She turned her back on him so that none of the teenagers in the room could see the fear on her face at the thought that Spike might not come back.

 _He WILL come back. Spike always comes back. He always has. He can’t be that different in this time line. He felt something for me. I know he did… and could I sound any more pathetic?_

Suddenly the room seemed very crowded and confining and she marched toward the door saying, “I need to go check on Angel and the Annoying One. I’ll check back with you after patrol, Giles.”

The doors were swinging in her wake before anyone could react quickly enough to stop her.

Into the silence, Cordelia’s voice was almost welcome.

“I don’t think I like grown-up, Buffy,” she huffed.

“She’s kinda scary,” Willow said softly.

“I think she’s crazy.” Xander grumbled. “And what’s with the whole attraction to vampires thing? What’s wrong with human men?”

Everyone ignored his obvious whining about Buffy’s lack of response to the crush he continued to have on her, but they acknowledged the difference in her behavior from the bubbly little girl they knew.

Finally Jenny spoke up quietly. “I think she acts like someone who has faced a lot of disappointment and pain in her life and that much of it was caused by those of us in this room. I’m guessing that asking her to tell us everything that happened in her time isn’t going to make anyone here feel any better about themselves.”

She cast a look at the librarian and said softly, “Including us, apparently.”

Giles nodded his head in agreement. “So it would seem. Perhaps we can do something this time around to erase some of those bad memories.”

“I hope so,” she said, moving closer to him. “I would hate to think she was sent back to suffer more pain.”

 

Buffy wandered around Sunnydale for a while, enjoying the waning sunshine and putting off the inevitable talk with Angel. The affection she still felt for the souled vampire was present, but she knew that was not what this Angel was used to from her and she doubted he would be very happy to find that blind adoration was a thing of her past. Not to mention, that he’d been replaced in her affections by his grandchilde.

When dusk began to settle over the town, she stopped stalling and walked toward his apartment near the Bronze. She stood outside the door for several minutes, just staring at the familiar wood and lost in her memories of long ago. When the door opened to show a puzzled Angel on the other side, she shook herself out of her reverie and smiled kindly.

“How are you feeling?”

“I might ask you the same thing. How long were you planning to stand out there before you knocked? Or were you planning to come in at all?”

She heard the barely disguised pain in his voice and shook her head as she walked past him into the room. Glancing around at the familiar, sparse furnishings, she sighed and sat in one of the chairs.

“Of course I was planning to come in. I just got lost in memory-land for awhile, that’s all.” She looked up at him and smiled crookedly. “You guys might have to get used to seeing ‘spaced-out-Buffy’. I have a feeling that’s going to happen more than once.”

He sighed and sat down opposite her. “I suppose we will. Is this where you fill me in on why you don’t love me anymore? Because if it’s due to what you saw with Drusilla, I warned you--”

She looked at him in surprise, amazed that he had brought it up so abruptly, but she made no attempt to reassure him.

“Angel,” she began slowly, wondering how best to get him to understand without revealing too much about her relationship with Spike, “I still love you. You will always have a place in my heart. You are--were my first serious boy friend, and I Ioved you with every fiber of my sixteen-year-old body.

“But I’m not that little girl anymore. I grew up. And I had to do that growing up very quickly – in large part because of Angelus.”

“What did I—he—do to you?” He spoke through gritted teeth and she could see tears behind his eyes. “Is that why you don’t want me any more?”

She shook her head and tried to explain. “My feelings for you, my inability to kill you when I first had the chance, caused a lot of pain, both physical and emotional, for the people I care about. It’s not so much about what you did to me, as it is about what my shirking of my duty allowed you to do to my friends. I had to toughen up and it wasn’t much fun.”

She looked him in the eye and said calmly, “In my time line, you were Angelus for much more than one day. And you didn’t spend that time shagging Dru. Not all of it, anyway,” she added with a rueful smile.

“What kinds of things did I do?” he asked, staring hard at his feet. He wanted to call her on using Spike’s word for sex, but something told him he didn’t want to know where and when she’d learned it.

“Can we just leave it at you weren’t a very nice guy to be around?” she asked hopefully.

“I want to know, Buffy. I want to know what Angelus did.”

She studied him for a minute, then said abruptly, “You know you and Angelus are the same person, right? Cause I’m not buying the whole split personality thing the way I used to.”

“I have no control over Angelus, Buffy. You know that. He has no soul.”

“Neither does Spike,” she said quietly. “But he’s never killed or tortured my friends – well, except for smacking Xander around, anyway.”

“Can’t blame him for that,” Angel muttered. “Boy’s almost as big a pain in the ass as Spike is himself.” He looked up at her fearfully. “I killed and tortured people? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Only in the ‘my boyfriend suddenly hates me and wants me dead’ sense of the word.”

“I’m so sorry, Buffy.”

“Relax, that’s my Angel. You haven’t done any of those things. All you’ve done is give Dru a lot of happies, and tried to kill me once. No biggie.”

He gawked at her. “No biggie?”

“Not when compared to…”

He squeezed his eyes shut, then said quietly. “How did I lose my soul in your time? Was it the same way?”

Buffy blushed from her roots to her toes. “Uh… well, in a way… but not… not exactly.” She couldn’t prevent her eyes from moving to the bed in the corner.

He followed her gaze to his bed; then looked back at her flaming face and understanding flew across his features.

“You,” he said with a gasp. “I lost it when I made love to you.”

“Yes,” she said, still blushing. “Hey, who knew Dru could make you that happy too?” She tried to change the subject away from sex with her.

“Happy?”

“Uh, yeah, turns out that’s the little catch in the curse. One moment of complete happiness and it’s bye-bye soul.”

He sat in silence for a minute, going over what he was learning about himself.

“So, that’s why we aren’t together? Because if we – if I have that moment of perfect happiness, I lose the soul?”

“Well, that’s one of the reasons why you left me, yes. It’s complicated, Angel. You left, we both moved on. Things changed.”

They were quiet for a minute, then the vampire said, “Giles is looking into a way to anchor the soul. The gypsy woman is going to help him.”  
He raised hopeful eyes to hers. “So, someday…”

Buffy shook her head sadly. “No, Angel. I want you to get your soul anchored. No question about that. It’s way too shaky to suit me right now. But it isn’t going to change… us… me. You will always have a piece of my heart, but the rest of it belongs to someone else now. Someone who earned it the hard way.”

“Are you going to tell me who it is?”

“Not right now, I’m not. Who knows? It’s… possible… he won’t fall in love with me this time… things are so different now.”

Her chin trembled just enough to be noticeable, and she blinked back the tears threatening to fill her eyes. With a little shake, she threw off the fear that Spike would never come back and gave Angel a sympathetic smile.

“But he has my heart, whether he wants it or not. And that’s never going to change.”

“Never’s a long time, Buffy.” Angel smiled, his over 200 years of existence having given him some perspective that even grown-up Buffy still lacked.

After another few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Buffy stood up and said, “Well, I just needed to see how you were doing. I have to go patrol now and maybe check up on the Master’s old gang and see how many Spike left standing.”

“I could come with you,” he offered hopefully. “There’s no reason for us to not be friends, is there? I can still help you.”

She studied his open face for a minute, seeing nothing but affection and a willingness to continue to fight on her side. She shrugged and agreed readily.

“Sure, Angel. All slayage help is gratefully accepted. As long as you don’t get in my way or go into over-protective mode.”

“Grown-up and fully capable Slayer. I think I got that message pretty well yesterday, “ he said ruefully, pointing to the bruises still visible on his face.

“You had it coming,” she said, smiling apologetically.

“I probably did, at that,” he agreed as he picked up his jacket. “So, we’re on for a bit of dusting before dinner?”

“Yep. Bad guys look out. Here we come.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the deck of a ship, working it’s way across the Caribbean Sea, a vampire stared over the dark water and tried to erase the memory of a warm body moving under his, and soft, supple lips kissing their way over his face and throat. As always happened, the more he tried to forget what she felt like, the harder he got and more he craved another taste of her. He knew Dru was getting suspicious about his lack of interest in reclaiming her affections from Angelus and he headed for their below-decks room determined to put his throbbing erection to good use and make her believe he still loved her.

Unfortunately, it didn’t go as well as he’d hoped at first, as the dark-haired vampires hissed at him when he began kissing his way down her throat and running his hands over her body. He persisted, murmuring endearments to her and touching her in all the ways he knew she liked, until she relented and, with one of her mercurial changes in mood, she sank her teeth into his neck and growled with passion. As he lost himself in the violent, bloody and erotic play, Spike was almost able to forget another body that was just as strong and passionate, but warm where his dark princess was cold. Almost.

By the time the cruise ship got them to the coast of Venezuela, his constant attention had convinced his lover of over a hundred years that he had done what he did out of love for her, not any desire to help the Slayer, and they drifted back into a life of nightclubs, hunting and sex in airy hotel rooms.

And if, in the middle of their daytime sleep, she occasionally whimpered for Angelus, or he clutched her body and silently mourned the lack of warmth, neither was willing to admit the other’s temporary lapse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

And so, things went back to normal in Sunnydale. Or as normal as they can be when you are Heaven’s Chosen One and live on a Hellmouth. Buffy struggled to maintain her friendships with her much younger schoolmates and enjoyed frustrating Principal Snyder by making all “A’s”. Without Spike and Angelus to worry about, she wasn’t having to skip classes often enough to register on his radar. She would occasionally find him following her around the building, as though he was sure if he just watched her long enough, hard enough, he would catch her doing something for which he could punish her.

Most of the time, she would pause and wait for him to almost run into her before turning around and greeting him with a sweet smile and a “How are you today, Mr. Snyder?” but every once in awhile she couldn’t resist using her slayer speed or strength to disappear when he wasn’t looking and come back toward him from a completely different direction. The ratty looking little man would stutter and sputter, but had no answer when she would ask innocently, “Have I done something wrong, Mr. Snyder?”

Even Giles, who tried very hard to maintain a British stiff upper lip in the face of her activities, couldn’t help laughing quietly at the annoying little man’s obvious frustration. Even as he accused her of being childish, he was thoroughly enjoying watching his boss being made a fool of. There was too much Ripper still in the older man for him not to enjoy the sight of a pompous ass being brought down.

Buffy and Willow drifted back into an easy friendship, made easier by the red-head’s interest in magic and her questions about her future self. Buffy did her best to steer her friend away from the dark magicks, while at the same time assuring her that she was going to become a very powerful witch and be enormously helpful in the future.

When Willow and Oz became an item, Buffy was able to subtly let the werewolf know that she knew about him, and she helped him explain it to Willow. They were able to keep him in and safe from the bounty hunter that came to town, but there was nothing Buffy could do about their future together except vow to be there for her friend when the crash came.

It was more difficult for Buffy to fall back into a relationship with Xander. In addition to finding his girl friend shallow and boring, Buffy could not forget Xander’s hatred of Spike in her time, and his attempt to kill him after she had declared a truce with the vampire in this one.

Things remained very strained between the two former best friends, until Willow couldn’t stand it anymore and made them both sit down with her and talk it out over hot chocolate.

“Guys, I love you both, and you are killing me with the not talking, and the dirty looks. Can we please work this out so I can have both my friends back? I mean, not that I don’t have you both as friends, but it would be nice if we could all be in the same room at the same time, you know?” Her eyes pleaded with them as she paused for breath.

Buffy bit her lip, then allowed, “I may be blaming Xander for things he did in my future, and that’s not fair of me.” She turned to look at the anxious-looking boy. “But, I’m having a very hard time forgiving you for shooting Spike when I had promised him he could leave Sunnydale safely.”

“Is that the only reason you’re so mad at me, Buffy? Because I broke your promise? Cause, I’ve gotta say, keeping promises to the evil undead? Not real high on my list.”

“Keeping promises to anybody I make them to, is very high on my list, Xander. That would especially true when the other person is keeping his promise to not eat my friends and to help me save somebody I care about.”

Her angry eyes bored into his until he dropped his gaze and mumbled, “Okay, I guess I can see that. I’m sorry I tried to dust Spike. I just thought—”

“You just thought you were helping. I get that, Xander. Really I do. But you can’t help me by going behind my back like that and making your own decisions about killing people.”

“Vampires, Buffy. We’re talking about dusting vampires.”

“And, again, I remind you, you are talking about a vampire who in my time has helped me save the world. A vampire who has saved your life more than once. Granted, this Spike isn’t there yet. And I’m not saying you should invite him in for dinner if he comes back to Sunnydale. But Iam saying that nobody but me makes any decisions about dusting Spike or Angel. They are my vampires – to slay or not slay.”

“All right,” he agreed with a sigh. “I promise not to harbor homicidal thoughts about the undead, if you promise not to let them eat me.”

“Agreed,” she said with a small smile. “Shake on it?”

“How about a hug on it?” he asked hopefully.

She was about to refuse when it occurred to her that she could make a small point about their relationship without saying a word and she nodded and stood up. When he put his arms around her and pulled her into his body for a hug, she reciprocated by putting her arms around him and squeezing, using just a small amount of her strength, but enough to make it obvious that a strong hug would have broken his ribs. When he began to gasp for air and whimper, she smothered her smile and instead let go immediately, saying, “Oh, my god, Xander. Did I hurt you? I’m so sorry. I’m not used to… I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“Uh, no,” he wheezed, “No problem. Just… I’m human, you know? Breakable.”

“I’m sorry. I forget sometimes that I have to be so careful with human bo-men. “

He gave her a searching look, wondering if she was talking specifically about him or in general about all men. And, if it was all men, then who or what had she been dating for the next several years? Surely she wasn’t still with Angel in her time? She’d pretty much told him in front of them that they weren’t together anymore. It briefly crossed his mind that she had talked about how close she and Spike were in the future, and he shuddered to think she had taken up with another vampire – and one without a soul.

He shrugged it off to worry about another day, just happy that they were still going to be friends. His love-hate relationship with Cordelia was more than enough to keep him from obsessing over Buffy the way he had when she first moved to Sunnydale and her constant reminders that she was much older than he just added to his ability to be realistic about his chances of having anything romantic with her.

 

 **Author’s Note:** Since neither Buffy nor I have any desire to relive the boring parts of her junior year of high school; particularly in light of her having been able to short circuit many of the minor crises that came up, I’m not planning to dwell on the rest of Season II. I’ll be summing it up quickly and then I’m going to jump ahead to Season III and Spike’s return. Lame, I know, but I don’t want to spend the time coming up with non-boring filler that is just going to make a long story longer. I apologize for the lack of imagination on my part, but it’s a story about Spike and Buffy and their relationship after she is sent back, rather than a rewrite of all seven seasons of the show.

 

 **Chapter Nineteen**

As the year went on, Buffy was able to endure the now trivial-seeming events of high school by spending more time with Giles and Jenny and less time in school activities. Even Angel, now that he had apparently accepted her true status, sometimes treated her as an equal rather than as something precious to be protected at all costs. And when he didn’t, when he became overbearing and tried to make decisions for her, she was quick to remind him that she’d been doing fine without him for years and that she did not appreciate his attempts to run her life.

After a particularly virulent dressing down by the Slayer when all he’d tried to do was suggest that he be the one to enter the Master’s old lair and check on the Anointed One, he decided to use it as an opportunity to soften her attitude toward him.

He hung his head dejectedly and as he apologized for usurping her responsibilities, he asked hesitantly, “Buffy, are you sure you aren’t angry at me for decisions I made in your timeline? Because, I’ve really been trying hard here, but it seems like nothing I can do pleases you.” He fixed her with sad, brown, puppy dog eyes and inwardly rejoiced when she immediately apologized and touched his hand warmly.

“Oh my god, Angel. You are so right. I’m taking it out on you that in my time you decided I was better off without you and left without even asking me if I agreed. I guess I’m still a little pissed about that.” She shook her head at herself and added, “I am so sorry! I’ve been resenting you for something you haven’t done yet.”

Her anxious eyes looked into his with affection and concern as she moved closer. He smiled to himself as he took note that she had really been upset at losing him.

 _She probably still loves me. She’s just afraid to admit it. Afraid that I’ll do the same thing to her again. All I have to do is convince her that I will never leave her, and she’ll let down her defenses._

“And, I probably won’t, Buffy,” he said with sincerity. “Since we don’t have that kind of relationship now, there’s no reason for me to leave. I can stay here and help you.”

He beamed at her with delight and she struggled to smile back at him as the possible repercussions of his staying in Sunnydale played out in her head.

“Un, yeah. I guess that’s true… You’ll be all here and I’ll be here and we’ll both be here and… that’ll be just… great.”

 _Oh yeah. That’ll be great! I’ll be trying to seduce Spike, and Angel will be hovering around trying to protect me from him. And when the Initiative comes along, I’ll have two vampires to protect. Assuming they haven’t killed each other by then. Gah!_

Outwardly, she tried to be as upbeat as possible about the thought of Angel hanging around Sunnydale for the next several years, but inside she was moaning at the impending train wreck she could see coming.

Vowing to encourage Angel to think about moving to LA as soon as graduation was over, she pushed the worry to the back of her mind and tried to concentrate on what to do about the Anointed One’s continued existence.

 _Damn Spike! Why didn’t he get rid of that little brat before he left? Oh yeah, that’s right. He was busy trying to figure out why I had the hots for him. Way to go, Buffy. Now I’ve got to do something about him._

Telling Angel she’d see him later for patrol, she headed for her house on Revello Drive. She and her mother had formed the habit of sharing a cup of hot chocolate every evening either before or after Buffy’s patrol, depending on how late a start she got. They hadn’t discussed at all Buffy’s willingness to spend time with her mother, and she hoped that Joyce was attributing it to the more mature Buffy wanting to spend more time around adults. When Joyce put down her cup and said, “So, when do you plan to tell me what happens to me?” she realized that her mother was too smart for that scenario.

“Wha—what?” She stalled for time, not at all willing or ready to have a conversation about her mother’s tumor and subsequent death.

“Buffy, as much as I love you; and as much as I enjoy our little talks every night, I know this togetherness is no more typical for a twenty-something woman than it is for a teenager. There is a reason you want to spend so much time with me, and I think I have a right to know what it is.”

Buffy looked at her mother and couldn’t prevent the tears from forming in her eyes.

“Mom, I’m not trying to hide anything from you. I just know it’s too early to try to do anything about it and I don’t want you living with the burden of knowing…”

“Knowing when I’m going to die?” her mother asked quietly.

“You’re NOT going to die! Not this time! I won’t let you!”

Joyce raised her eyebrows. “I’ve learned quite a bit in the past few months about your powers and your calling, but I don’t recall miracle working among them.”

“It won’t take a miracle. You just need to get it taken care of sooner. Earlier surgery means less surgery. And less surgery means less chance of … problems after.”

“And earlier meaning….”

“Not for another couple of years. Then you’re going in for a CAT scan every six months if I have to break into the hospital and do it myself.”

Her mother studied Buffy’s resolute face for several minutes, then relaxed and said, “Okay, Buffy. I won’t mention it again for a while. If you promise not to walk around here treating me like something fragile. Deal?”

She smiled at her mother through watery eyes. “Ok, deal.”

“All right then. Go do your patrol. And for heaven’s sake, go do something fun afterwards! I’ll be fine. I’m perfectly capable of putting myself to bed when I think it’s time to do so.”

“Okay, Mom. More slaying, less mom-watching. For a little while, at least.”

She gave her mother a quick peck on the cheek and collecting her stakes, walked out into the quiet night.

During their nightly talks over hot chocolate, Buffy had opened up to her mother about her life as the Slayer much more than she had the first time. She talked to her mother about her blind adoration of Angel, her conviction that he was the love of her life, her devastation when he left for LA, and her attempt to have a normal life with Riley. She left out her mother’s death, the arrival of a half-grown kid sister who was really a ball of mystical energy, and, for obvious reasons, her own death and resurrection.

“And where does the attractive blond vampire fit into this picture?” her mother had asked.

“Pretty much wherever he could,” Buffy admitted with a small sigh. Without going into details, Buffy explained as best she could about her rocky relationship with Spike. She explained that he had fallen in love with her while she was involved with Riley and that it had taken a long time for her to accept the truth of his devotion. And even longer for her to admit to herself that he was important to her. She didn’t say so, but her mother could definitely tell that her daughter was very much in love with the missing vampire.

When Buffy explained that Spike had obtained a soul for her, and that he’d let that soul incinerate him from the inside out in order to save the world, she couldn’t stop the tears. Joyce patted her hand sympathetically until Buffy was able to stop crying and tried to think of how she wanted to ask her next question.

“Buffy, why do you think you’re here? Why do you think you were sent back by these… Powers That Be? Is that the correct term for them?”

“It’s not what Spike calls them,” she answered with a wry smile, “but it’s what they are, I guess.” She thought for a minute, then said, “I think I was sent back to fix things. Things that maybe weren’t meant to happen. Maybe Kendra was meant to die when she did. So there was nothing I could do about that.

“But there are things coming that I _can_ fix. I can, maybe, help Faith before she goes all evil on us. I can stop the Initiative before Adam escapes. I can hide Dawn from Glory—” She paused at her mother’s puzzled frown. “Oops, sorry, Mom. TMI. You’ll get it later.” She stopped again, “Now where was I? Oh yeah. I know what Glory’s alter ego is like; I know what the troll hammer can do to her, so I should be able to stop her before I….

“and if I do, then I won’t have to be brought back and I won’t be so… broken… when Spike and I… and there won’t be any imbalance, so no First Evil, so no barbequed Spike, and Buffy lives happily ever after!”

She finished her recitation triumphantly and looked at her mother with great pride only to see Joyce shaking her head sadly.

“Oh, Buffy, if only life were that simple. And, you do realize I didn’t understand a word you said?”

Buffy laughed with embarrassment. “Yeah, Mom. I know. I just got a little carried away. That’s one reason why I’m not telling anybody everything I know about the coming years. I don’t really know what exactly is going to happen, because everything’s already different now. I just know that if the things I _do_ know about begin to happen, I’ll have a better chance of avoiding the mistakes I made last time.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a beautiful stucco home behind a tall wall, Drusilla danced around the atrium in the moonlight. Spike sprawled in a chair, watching her spin and smiling indulgently. Although he and his dark princess had settled back into a comfortable companionship, liberally spiced with mayhem and violent sex, something felt off to him.

Dru had always been as fond of blood as the next vamp, and had a thing for children that made Spike uncomfortable if he was honest about it, but she had never been overly violent. In fact, until recently, she had enjoyed his murmured endearments and tender kisses when they were making love. Now, she never missed an opportunity to score his marble skin with her sharp nails, or to rip his skin with her teeth. And she wanted him to do the same.

When she begged him to hurt her “like Daddy would”, it made him so angry he had no trouble granting her wish. He would shake her while she laughed hysterically and talked about sunshine and golden dollies floating around him.

She would snarl and growl at him when he tried to calm her down, only giving in to his whispered pleading for love when he got angry and pinned her to the bed snarling and snapping at her face. Then she would coo at him that he was her ‘bad doggy” and her “naughty Spike” and spread her legs for him.

Lately, she’d taken to wandering out in the night without him, coming back just before dawn to express surprise that he had been searching the bars and back alleys for her all night.

“But Sweet William, you were lost in your thoughts of sunshine and dollies. I could see her floating all around you. She wants my Spike, the dolly does. She has my daddy and now she wants my Spike. But she won’t have them. They’re mine to play with.”

He knew she was talking about the Slayer; that she’d seen or sensed something, but he continued to ignore her, pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about. Only his guilt about his one night with Buffy kept him from beating her when she came back smelling of other demons and smiling to herself.

 _Love’s bitch, indeed. The Slayer sure had that right. I’m a complete wanker when it comes to the women I love. Woman! The woman I love!_

Shaking himself, he stood up abruptly and grabbed Dru’s arm, whirling her around in a manic dance before suggesting they go out and try to find someone good to eat. Nodding her head and clapping her hands, his dark princess led him to the gate and out into the warm South American night.

 

 **Chapter Twenty**

After months of haunting the cemeteries, staking fledgling vamps as soon as they emerged, Buffy had pretty much had it with the Anointed One’s attempts to rebuild his army of minions and she announced that she was going to “settle his annoying hash” once and for all.

“I think that’s certainly wise, Buffy, but I do hope you will take Angel with you when you go in. In fact, it might be a good idea if we all went. We don’t really know how many minions may have managed to get back to him in the last few months.”

Buffy frowned at his suggestion that Angel accompany her. She had tried to establish some sort of relationship with the souled vamp that didn’t involve any romantic activities, but she knew he was still hoping for more. She rarely asked him to patrol with her, but couldn’t bring herself to reject him when he “accidentally” showed up as he did more and more frequently.

She really would have preferred to take on the Annoying One _Spike sure got that nickname right_ alone, but to avoid hurt feelings she agreed to take Angel with her and to let Giles and the Scoobies who wanted to be there provide backup. Taking Angel with them meant they had to wait until sunset to approach the lair, even though she would have preferred to hit them while they were asleep.

Angel had moved from his apartment near the Bronze into the old mansion that Angelus had lived in during her time line, and they agreed to meet there before approaching the vamp lair. The Slayer had to stifle a shiver as she approached the familiar building and had flashes of memory of all the things that had taken place there.

Angel watched her with interest as she walked around, gently touching familiar things, frowning at some places, smiling slightly to herself at others. When she stood in the big room leading to the garden, she closed her eyes in pain briefly and he moved toward her without thinking.

“Buffy? What is it? Is something wrong?” He looked at her with genuine concern, wanting to take her in his arms, but knowing the new Buffy wouldn’t necessarily welcome his embrace the way “his” Buffy did.

“Huh? Oh, no, I’m fine, Angel. Just reliving some memories. No biggie.”

“Anything you’d care to share? I miss the way you used to tell me everything.”

She shook her head and gave him a sad smile. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

He almost growled with frustration, but swallowed it and nodded his head in agreement.

“All right, Buffy. I don’t want to push you. You’ll tell me when you’re ready, I guess.”

He completely missed her look of surprised indignation as he turned toward the door and the arriving Scoobies.

i>What the hell? Has he not listened to me at all? He really doesn’t get that “no” means “no”. I wonder how come I never noticed that before?

She shrugged off his assumption that he could have pushed her into it if he tried and turned to greet her friends.

To Buffy’s surprise, the whole crowd showed up, eager for some slaying action, and she realized with a guilty start that she hadn’t been involving her friends or watcher the way she had before.

 _Maybe I should be letting them help more. If and when I really need them, they won’t have the experience they need to stay alive._

Her face broke out in a genuine smile as she greeted her friends and admitted that she was glad to see them ready to come out and do battle with the forces of evil.

“Oh, yeah, we’re all about the battling forces of evil,” Xander enthused, as he glared at the brooding vampire leaning against the wall. “Can we start with Deadboy, here?”

Angel’s eyes flashed yellow for just a second as he heard the hated nickname, but he controlled the demon before Buffy noticed and contented himself with glaring back at the youthful annoyance.

“Xander…” Buffy’s warning made Angel smile and he moved closer to the Slayer as much to aggravate the boy as to be close to her warmth. He breathed in her scent, enjoying the closeness, which she seemed less inclined to reject just now than she did when they were alone.

Buffy smiled up at Angel apologetically and he smiled back and nodded to show her he was more than willing to tolerate her friends as long as she was letting him be a part of her life. As they gathered up weapons and talked about the plan, he went out of his way to include everyone in the conversations, even Cordelia who had shown up with Xander to Buffy and Willow’s astonishment.

“What?” she said when they looked at her in shock. “I can be helpful. And I didn’t have anything more interesting to do tonight, anyway. It’s not like you three have the market cornered on being heroes, you know.”

To break the crashing silence that greeted the tall brunette’s remarks, Oz offered quietly, “I just thought Willow might want some support. I can drive the van and we’ll only have to take one vehicle.”

“Thank you, Oz,” Buffy said with a smile. She had forgotten how helpful and full of common sense the werewolf was, and she was enjoying his company even more than she had the first time around. Her heart ached for Willow and the pain she knew was probably coming, but to see how her friend was coming out of her shy shell now that she had a devoted boy friend made up for it.

They agreed that Angel and Buffy would go into the lair themselves and check out the numbers. Angel was going to pretend to be Angelus, and have Buffy over his shoulder. He would get as close to the Anointed One as possible before setting her down. With luck, they would be able to stake most of the minions before any of them caught on that Angel was not on their side.

Giles would be outside with the rest of the Scoobies – all armed with crossbows and ready to dust any vamps fleeing the lair. Oz would also be using his enhanced senses to keep track of the fighting and let them know if Buffy and Angel needed assistance.

When she was sure everyone was as prepared as possible, Buffy led them to Oz’s van and the beginning of the end for the Master’s chosen successor. With Willow in the front with Oz, Giles, Buffy, Angel, Xander and Cordelia were crowded into the rear. To keep the peace, Buffy deliberately placed herself between Angel and Xander, trying to ignore the flash of hopefulness on the vampire’s face when she sat down next to him. She knew he was deliberately not moving over so that their hips and shoulders would be touching, but she didn’t pull away, letting herself enjoy briefly the physical contact that she was missing in her life at this time.

While she had no intention of sleeping with the older vampire and thereby releasing Angelus again, she couldn’t deny the affection she still felt for him and it felt good to lean against his large body. She was sure she’d finally made him understand that there was not going to be anything romantic between them any more and once he knew what caused his soullessness in her time, he’d agreed completely. Or seemed to.

They drove to within a block of the old warehouse where what was left of the Anointed One’s minions were living. Angel and Buffy moved silently toward the building while Giles positioned everyone else around where they could see the exits without being seen. At a nod from him, Angel smiled at Buffy and asked, “Ready?”

She nodded, grumbling the whole time about how she hated to appear weak and beaten, as he scooped her up effortlessly and draped her over his shoulder. A position which put her plump little sixteen-year-old ass right beside his face. As much as he knew he shouldn’t think about her in a way that could cost him his soul again, he found it very hard to concentrate while the center of her sex was so close to his nose.

He could hear her heart rate accelerate as they approached the room in which the Anointed One could be heard berating his minions for their lack of initiative and couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to know that he was once again the cause of that excitement. He shrugged off the memory of the brief seconds he’d been on top of her as Angelus and how good it had felt to press his erection in between her strong thighs. Telling himself to pay attention, he pushed away thoughts of sex with Buffy and concentrated on convincing the suspicious vampires glaring at him from across the room that he was once again Angelus.

Which wasn’t all that difficult with his demon being so excited by close proximity to the slayer’s ass. He sneered at the fledgling vampires gathered around the child-like “master” of the lair and snarled, “Got an armful of Slayer here. Anyone interested in a taste?”

Before they could break ranks and run to him, the small leader held up his hand and said suspiciously, “You first.”

“Shit,” he heard Buffy hiss as she tensed her muscles, preparing to drop off his shoulder. He quieted her with a slight squeeze to her thigh and shifted her weight so that she would be dropping straight down onto her feet when he let go. “Trust me,” he whispered into her ear as he let her slide down his body and grabbed her hair, tilting her head to expose her throat.

As soon as his fangs approached her neck, she felt Spike’s now-invisible marks tingle and she shoved Angel away with a frightened, “No!”

Surprise, shock, and finally anger flared across the vampire’s face as he reeled back. The other vamps, not realizing why he was so angry, moved toward the Slayer at a gesture from their leader. Although she had shoved the large vampire away fairly vigorously, they assumed she was weakened by whatever he’d done to capture her. Their lack of concern and caution was just what Buffy needed and she had dusted three of them before they could grasp that she was just as strong as ever.

The rest of the minions retreated slightly and peered at the Slayer through the dust of their companions. Buffy had shoved her stake back into the waistband of her pants and now held a long wooden pole with which she was attacking the remaining minions. She appeared to have the situation under control, so Angel remained quiet and watched the fight, ready to step in if necessary, but having learned from cruel experience that this Buffy neither needed nor wanted to be saved by him.

He saw the dawning comprehension grow on the small boy’s face as the leader watched his minions being decimated by the perfectly functional Slayer that Angel had brought into their lair and his face twisted in anger.

“You! You are of the Master’s line! You should be bowing before me, and instead you bring this… this… thing! into my home.”

Angel moved toward the small boy and grabbed him by the neck, lifting him up so that they were eye to eye.

“I don’t bow to anybody,” he said coldly. “Least of all children who think too highly of themselves.”

Buffy had finished dusting all but two of the minions that had bolted out the doors. She trusted that the waiting Scoobies would take care of them and turned to approach Angel. She looked at him curiously as he dangled the angry, evil child in the air.

“Angel, why are you playing with him? I had no idea you were so fond of children.”

He let his face slid back into its human features as he shook the little vampire and answered, “Well, you know men and toys. Sometimes we just can’t resist….”

The small would-be master was in complete game face and hung from Angel’s large hand snarling and snapping and screaming threats. The two warriors for good looked at each other and shrugged.

“You said in your time Spike killed him? Do you know how he did it?”

“Not exactly, but I’m pretty sure it had something to do with putting him in the sun.”

Angel glanced around the lair and spotted the cage in which the vampires obviously held their victims until they were ready to eat them. He looked at the chain and pulley that could carry the cage all the way up to the open roof and nodded his head.

“I see Will’s gotten creative in his old age,” he murmured as he carried the protesting demon over to the cage. “But the sun isn’t out now and we can’t take the chance he’ll escape before it comes up. Sorry, boyo,” he said as he twisted the child’s head and snapped his neck, “ Guess it’s not going to be as fast for you this time – but then, I’m not as impatient as Spike is…”

He threw the now paralyzed small demon into the cage and began pulling it up to where the first rays of the sun would hit it and turn the little master into a pile of ash. He missed the small frown that crossed Buffy’s face at his casual cruelty, but he didn’t miss the fact that she reached into the rising cage and put her stake through the small demon’s heart.

Without comment, she began looking around the large room, searching for any minions she might have overlooked, or any weapons they could use. When she saw the partially put together body parts and recognized them, she gasped.

“What is it?” She heard Giles’ voice as he cautiously entered the room to see how it was going.

“It’s the Judge. They were trying to put him together.”

When she got puzzled looks from both watcher and vampire, she sighed and said, “I’ll explain it when we get back. Right now, all I want to do is take him apart and throw away the pieces.”

She took an axe she found lying nearby and began to hack the death-dealing machine apart. She didn’t waste time trying to destroy the pieces, knowing the man-made axe wouldn’t have any effect on them, but she did manage to turn the partially completely being into many small body parts. Signaling the rest of the Scoobies to pick up the pieces, she led them out of the building and into the waiting van.

After she explained to everyone the danger presented by an intact Judge, Giles determined to send the head to the Council for safekeeping. At Buffy’s disbelieving look, he explained that, regardless of her feelings toward the Council and their treatment of Slayers, they were the most qualified to keep something like that safe and away from evil forces that might try to use it.

“If you don’t count the Council as an evil force, I guess that’s right,” she grumbled, but agreed to let him have the head. Privately, she vowed to keep at least one major piece herself and hide it somewhere only she knew about. As much as she trusted Giles, she could not bring herself to trust the Council to keep such a potentially dangerous being safe from anyone who wanted to use it to their own ends.

 _Especially since Xander doesn’t have his Halloween military experience to fall back on this time_ , she thought with a mental grin.

With Angel promising to take the torso out to sea and drop it into the deepest part of the ocean, and Oz taking a leg with him on his next road trip to leave in an unknown place, Buffy felt comfortable leaving the arms hidden in Sunnydale. The extra leg, she took with her to dispose of later. By moonlight, she went into a cemetery and dug into an old grave, burying the extra parts as deeply as she could get them.

She allowed Xander, who was feeling left out and useless, to come with her to help dig and to watch for vampires while Buffy worked. They were still not completely comfortable with each other, as the boy refused to give up his idea that both Angel and Spike should have been dusted when she had the chance; and Buffy’s older eyes allowed her to see his stubborn narrow mindedness for what it was. It didn’t take a psychology degree to realize that in her time, her friend had taken his unrequited love for her and turned into an unhealthy distrust of the men in her life.

She was able to understand that he hadn’t felt threatened by Riley because he knew, subconsciously, just as Riley himself had, that she didn’t really love the big commando and therefore he was no threat to Xander’s place in her affections.

 _At least this time, I know better than to pretend my life is ever going to be normal. Should be able to save Riley and myself a lot of grief._

When she thought about how she had treated Spike in her time, based, she had to admit, in large part because she worried about Xander’s reaction much more than anyone else’s, she cringed and vowed she would not let his obvious jealousy interfere this time.

 _Assuming there IS a this time._ She gave a mental sigh. _Where are you, Spike? Are you thinking about me? Has Dru started cheating on you yet?_

She absently rubbed her fingers over the invisible scars on her neck where his teeth had just scraped her skin and wondered if the partial claim he’d initiated was exerting any pull on him. The reminder that she was his brought on when Angel’s fangs got near her throat had surprised her. Spike had been so sure the claim would fade as soon as he was gone. She hoped that he was feeling some residual effects from it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The vampire in question was having a good time, dancing the tango with a curvaceous and fiery brunette that he had already decided would make an excellent vampire. He was just biding his time, enjoying the music and the heat from her body until he was hungry enough to take her somewhere private for dinner. Dru was sitting quietly at a table with some tourists she’d met and smiling indulgently at him while he danced.

As much as she enjoyed twirling around with her pixies under the stars, the ability to dance to actual music, especially the pounding Latin rhythms found in their chosen country, completely escaped her stodgy English sensibilities. But she didn’t object to watching Spike dance with human women; in fact she enjoyed watching his graceful movements and seeing how all the unsuspecting humans in the bar envied the woman he’d chosen for his partner this night.

She was actually looking forward to his turning the lush beauty he was practically making love to on the dance floor. Dru also thought the woman would make a good vampire, and was eager to teach her about sire’s and grandsire’s rights and privileges. She giggled as she pictured herself sinking her fangs into the newly made vampire’s full breasts and rounded belly. This one looked like she would be a lot of fun – and she bore no resemblance to the tiny blonde Slayer that still haunted her William’s dreams.

Thinking about the Slayer ruined her good mood, and she abruptly got up and grabbed one of the men by the hand saying coyly, “I want to go talk to the stars. Please come with me. I need a big strong man like you to make me feel safe.”

Beaming with pride, and eyes gleaming with lust, the unsuspecting man waved to his friends and followed the strange, but exotic woman out of the club to his immediate and bloody death. Without her usual babbling, the angry vampire grabbed the still oblivious man and drained him within seconds, dropping the body to the dirty ground and stepping over him to wander off looking for a demon bar.

Inside, Spike had noticed Dru’s disappearance, but didn’t worry about it. The last few months had gone very well, and he was sure they had put the ugliness that was Sunnydale behind them. And if he occasionally still thought about silky blonde hair falling over his face, and a warm mouth bringing him to ecstasy, he told himself it was only natural to remember a sexual encounter with a slayer. After all, it certainly wasn’t something the average vampire was ever likely to experience. To his reputation for killing two slayers, he could now add that he was the only vampire to have shagged one.

 _At least I could add it, if I didn’t know Dru would get hysterical about it. Not that she doesn’t know somethin’ happened, but I don’t think she knows what I did with the Slayer. Was too busy shagging Angelus to worry about what I was up to, wasn’t she?_

He carefully ignored the fact that even if Dru would have been fine with it, there was no way he would have been bragging about his night with Buffy as though she was some slut off the street. His inner William was too aware that he’d been gifted with something precious, something given out of love, and he would never allow the demon to sully it.

He pulled the woman’s willing body into his, rubbing his erection against her and reveling in the warmth. It did no good to close his eyes and try to pretend she was Buffy – to a vampire, scent and taste were at least as important as vision and there was no way he would mistake this woman’s essence for the Slayer’s unique taste and smell. But he could enjoy the warmth of her body and the sound of the blood rushing through her veins.

He’d just decided it was time to take his evening’s meal choice outside and add her to the ranks of the undead, when a jolt went through his body and his concealed fangs suddenly itched. It was gone as quickly as it came, but he couldn’t deny what had happened.

 _Bloody hell! That claim’s still there! And something jus’ happened to the Slayer to make it flare up. She’s alright, though. Got to be. If it’s strong enough to jolt me after all this time, I’d know if anything happened to her. I’d have to be able to feel it. I’d have to._

In spite of his assurances to himself, late the following afternoon while Drusilla dozed next to the exhausted new fledgling he’d brought home, Spike found himself holding a cell phone and dialing a number he swore he’d only written down for purposes of having more information about the Slayer. He stared at the phone as it began to ring, and had almost decided to put it down when he heard Joyce’s voice.

“Hello?”

“Uh… I mean… bloody hell! Is the Slayer there?”

“Spike? Is that you?”

“No! It’s not me–him! It’s just a phone call for the Slayer. Need to know if she’s… if anythin’s wrong.”

He could hear the smile in her mother’s voice as she said, “Buffy’s fine, Spike. I understand they removed a nest of vampires last night, but everything went well and she is okay. In fact, she’s out with her friends and Angel. I believe Willow’s boyfriend’s band is playing at the Bronze tonight and they’ve all gone to have a bite to eat before helping him set up.”

Relief at her mother’s reassurance fought with a gut-wrenching stab of jealousy at the idea of Buffy being out with Angel. When he didn’t say anything for several minutes, Joyce asked anxiously, “Spike? Spike, are you still there?”

“Yeah, ‘m here, Joyce. Just got sidetracked for a minute. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you called. I just wish Buffy was here to talk to you. She’ll be sorry she missed your call.”

“I’d rather you didn’t tell her,” he said gruffly. “I don’t want to talk to her. Jus’ needed to know she was all right, that’s all.”

“She’s fine,” Joyce responded. “She’s looking forward to her birthday next week and trying to decide if she’s going to be seventeen or twenty-three.”

“What day next week?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“Wednesday. I think we’ll all be here, at least early in the evening. I’m doing dinner and cake. So if you wanted to…”

“No! No, I won’t be callin’ again. I was jus’ worried and… I shouldn’t have done this. ‘M sorry, Joyce. Don’t tell her about it. Let her go on and have a good time with her… friends.” He couldn’t keep the anger out of his voice as he thought about his grandsire being with her while she celebrated her birthday.

Joyce waited until he finished, then said softly, “All right, Spike, I won’t tell her you called if you don’t want me to.”

“Thank you, Joyce. ‘Preciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. “And, Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“She’s not seeing him. They’re just friends this time around.”

“Didn’t ask,” he mumbled.

“I know you didn’t, but I thought you ought to know.”

He snorted and shook his head. “You’re quite a woman, Joyce. ‘S no wonder your daughter is one of the longest lived slayers in the world.” He heard the sounds of laughter from upstairs and knew that Drusilla and his newest minion were awake and looking for him. “I’ve got to go. Good bye, Joyce. Take care of yourself… and her.”

“Good bye, Spike.”

 

 **Chapter Twenty-One**

He stared at the phone for a full minute, then with a muffled curse, threw it against the wall to shatter into useless pieces of plastic.

 _I don’t care what she’s doin’ or who she’s doin’ it with – jus’ don’t let it be the bloody poofter! She told me – well she didn’t exactly tell me, but she might as well have – she told me she loved me, her Spike. She said she was mine. Don’t want him touchin’ what’s mine._

As he walked back upstairs, easily covering the steps two at a time, he tried to put the slayer and her warm body out of his mind. By the time he got to the door of the bedroom, he thought he’d done a pretty good job of erasing all thoughts of blonde hair, golden skin, and powerful blood from his mind.

He came in, unzipping his pants as he entered, and threw himself onto the bed between the two eager female vampires waiting for him there.

“There you are, you bad puppy! Where have you been?”

“Nowhere important, my ripe, wicked plum,” he growled, pulling her onto his body, but she twisted away from him and reached for the newly awakened fledgling beside him.

“I want to watch you play with your new toy again,” she purred into his ear. “Show me how happy you are to have her.”

She ran her nails down the other woman’s bare back, eliciting a growl and a shiver. Spike did his best to appear interested in the new family member he’d created, but now that her body was as cool as his own, and the heated blood no longer pulsed through her veins, he found himself unable to respond to her rough caresses.

When he pushed her toward Dru and suggested that they entertain him by enjoying each other, the new one’s eyes flashed with anger and she gave a small growl. Immediately, he was in game face and had his fangs fastened in her neck. He shook her fiercely, snarling the whole time, until she whimpered and quit fighting him, lying submissively between the two master vampires; one angry and one laughing and clapping.

“Oooh, my Spike IS a bad doggy! Shouldn’t make the doggy mad, you know. He will bite you and eat you all up!”

When the fledgling had stopped fighting and he could see the fear and submission in her eyes, Spike let her go with a final snarl and again shoved her toward Dru.

“Here, pet. You enjoy her if you want her. If you don’t, we’ll get rid of her.”

The dark-haired vampire cocked her head and studied him closely, her eyes narrowing.

“You’re thinking about her again,” she said flatly, sounding more lucid than normal. “The Slayer is floating all around in your head and you don’t want us. You want her.”

“Don’t talk crazy, Dru,” he blustered, even as he recognized the rare moment of sanity in her voice. “I don’t want anybody but you. Never have, never will. Just not interested in this silly bint at the moment, that’s all.”

“Don’t lie to your dark princess, William. It makes me sad,” she replied as she got to her feet, tugging the other vampire up. “Come, Rosa, we’re going out to play under the stars.”

She grabbed her dress and pulled it over her head, gesturing for the other woman to do the same. The curvy brunette cast one more longing glance at her sire’s naked body and then joined Drusilla in her venture into the night.

Spike remained on the empty bed, staring up at the ceiling in frustration. He vowed to kill the new minion as soon as Dru tired of her, telling himself it was because she was rebellious and disobedient and not because he was disappointed that she wasn’t still warm and breathing.

Eventually his stomach growled at him and he allowed the hunger pangs to drive him out into the warm night. Instead of his usual search for an attractive woman or pretty girl, he cruised the gay bars until he found an American tourist who was flashing a lot of money. One look at Spike’s muscular torso, flat stomach and bulging jeans had the visitor willing to follow the blond Brit anywhere and it was a simple matter to get him into the alley behind the bar.

When he pressed his body up against Spike’s and tried to put his arms around him, he suddenly found himself held in place by arms that felt like steel bands. The victim just had time to begin to wonder how someone so slender could be so strong when Spike’s face shifted and he buried his fangs in the man’s neck. He drained him quickly, then dropped the body and pulled out the wallet, removing all the American money and shoving it into his pocket.

He strolled back through the club, debating about whether to eat another tourist before heading home. He saw the curious looks the others gave him when he came back in without their friend and he just grinned and winked at them before leaving the bar.

On the way home he ran into a drunk Faryl demon that wanted to fight, so he obliged with a major ass-kicking before generously leaving the unconscious demon battered, but alive. He was feeling pretty good as he strolled toward home.

His good mood lasted all the way until he got into the house and caught the scent of another demon. He made his way silently up the stairs and followed the sounds he was hearing to the door of the bedroom. There on his bed, Drusilla and Rosa were entertaining a chaos demon whose antlers were dripping mucus all over the pillows.

When his outraged snarl finally penetrated their lust-induced fog, they looked up at him with various expressions of surprise. Except Drusilla, who looked triumphant and proud of herself.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doin’, Dru?” He ignored the frightened fledgling who was just figuring out that she might be in trouble with her sire.

“Rosa and I found someone who wants to play with us. Someone who isn’t thinking about the nasty Slayer all the time. Go away, Spike. We’ll let you come back when we’re ready to give you another chance. You can go play with the other bad doggies until then.”

She turned her back on him and began stroking the chaos demon’s huge, furry cock, ignoring the hurt, angry look on Spike’s face. Rosa gave him an apologetic look, but as soon as Drusilla touched her face with a blood soaked nail, she turned away and fastened her mouth on her grandsire’s eager lips.

Spike stared at the writhing bodies on the bed, then whirled and left the house, grabbing his leather coat as he went out the door. His feet moved without any conscious thought on his part, carrying him away from the latest humiliation his lover had poured on his head.

 _It’s one thing to shag her soddin’ poof of a sire, but a chaos demon! That’s just disgustin’. And to do it on our – my – bed. If she thinks I’m gonna hang around here waitin’ for her to decide I can come back to my own house…_

His feet had carried him toward the airport, and he took a quick glance at the plane schedules, seeing that he could leave for California the following evening and be safely on the ground in LA before dawn. Using the money he’d taken from his earlier meal, he bought a ticket for an aisle seat and left to find a safe place to spend the day, hoping his righteous indignation would last long enough for him to get out of the country before he made a fool of himself waiting around to be allowed back into his own home.

Buried in the anger and hurt he felt at Drusilla’s infidelity, was a little bubble of joy that he had a reason to leave the city he’d been hiding in and go back to the only place he was sure to be welcomed

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy strolled home from school, enjoying the unusually warm day and trying to compute the odds against her actually having a happy birthday this year. With no Judge parts to worry about, and no Angel sex happening, she wondered what the PTB would do to make this birthday suck. She had no doubt that it would. Eight years of experience as the Slayer told her that something bad would happen on her birthday every year. Like clockwork.

“I guess I’ll just have to wait and be surprised,” she said out loud to herself.

As her friends gathered at her house for a small party, and gifts were opened, examined and commented on, she began to relax slightly. There was no reason to expect a sword demon to appear, no soul losing for Angel, no zombies anywhere to be seen, things were looking good. She still couldn’t decide if she was celebrating her seventeenth birthday, or her twenty-third, but after her second bowl of chocolate ice cream, it didn’t really seem to matter and she began to enjoy herself.

As the party wound down and her friends started to depart, Buffy stood in the doorway to receive her birthday hugs and kisses as well as to thank everyone for their gifts. Giles and Jenny were the first to leave. The younger guests teased them for being old and not able to stay up late to party, but Buffy’s more mature sensibilities could see that they were just eager to leave the teenagers behind and be alone. She hugged them both tightly, delighted that she’d been able at least to save her watcher the grief that had accompanied his love for the gypsy woman the first time around.

Xander and Cordelia were next, rejecting Oz’s offer of a ride in favor of Cordelia’s car. Buffy briefly wondered if they would stay together in this time line, with the chances of Spike kidnapping Willow and Xander together now much lower and therefore chances of them being caught kissing much less. She shrugged and told them both “good-night”, deciding that keeping Xander and Cordy together wasn’t much of a priority and she would just watch nature take its course.

As she was saying goodnight to Willow and Oz, she thought she heard the back door open and she turned her head slightly. She saw Angel straighten up at the sound of her mother’s voice and frowned slightly at the look on his face. She hugged the werewolf and his witch girlfriend and closed the door behind them, intending to walk into the kitchen to see who her mother was talking to.

Just as she started past Angel, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into his chest saying, “Don’t I get a birthday hug and kiss?”

In the kitchen, Joyce was greeting a tired looking Spike and offering to make him some cocoa while he waited for Buffy to finish her good nights. He thanked her and sat on a stool by the counter. He could sense his grandsire in the living room, and knew that the older vampire must know he was there.

Remembering that Buffy said she could always tell when he was around, he was slightly puzzled and a little hurt that she hadn’t come running into the kitchen to see him. He stood up and moved to the entrance to the living room, just in time to see Angel fold her in his arms and lower his mouth to hers in an extended kiss.

Without a sound, he whirled and ran through the kitchen and out the door. Without saying a word to Joyce or bothering to close the door behind him, he ran out into the night.

Buffy had initially welcomed Angel’s kiss and embrace, but just as he started pushing his tongue against her teeth, trying to force an entrance, the tiny scars on her neck tingled and she pushed him away before he could deepen the kiss. She spun around and flew to the kitchen just in time to see the screen door swinging shut and a flash of platinum going by the window.

The silent, anguished question in Buffy’s eyes was easy to interpret and her mother nodded, glaring at the dark vampire as she did so.  
Before Buffy could bolt out the door after Spike, Angel grabbed her again and tried to keep her in the house.

“What are you doing, Buffy?” he said angrily, holding on to her struggling body and trying to get her to look at him. He wasn’t planning to tell her he knew Spike had been there unless he had to. He wasn’t sure if she knew the other vamp had been in the kitchen or was just worried about her mother. Joyce hadn’t said anything and he’d missed the look exchanged between the two women.

“Are you all right, Joyce?” he asked with too much sincerity. “Was there someone here?”

Buffy, meanwhile, had quit struggling to get away from the big vampire and was staring at the still vibrating screen door and fighting back tears.

“What happened?” she asked her mother in a shaky voice. “Why did he leave?”

“I don’t know, Buffy,” she replied sincerely. “He started to go into the living room to you and then he just turned and ran out.”

Realization dawned as Buffy remembered what she’d been doing when she felt the tingles and she remembered how Angel had grabbed her and initiated the kiss as she headed for the kitchen.

“You knew!” She fixed him with her deadliest Slayer glare and he flinched in spite of himself. “You did that on purpose,” she ground out between clenched teeth.

“I just wanted to remind him who you belong to,” he said, releasing her arm with a growl. “I didn’t think you’d mind. It’s only Spike.”

Completely at a loss for words, Buffy did the only thing she could and punched him so hard he sailed across the kitchen and into the stove, shaking it loose from it’s place against the wall.

“Sorry, Mom,” she threw over her shoulder as she ran out the door. “I’ll put it back later.”

With anxious tears streaming down her cheeks, she ran into the night searching frantically for another glimpse of bright hair and dark leather.

 

 **Chapter Twenty-Two**

Buffy raced through the streets of Sunnydale until she was exhausted, searching for any sign of the vampire. She prowled through the cemeteries, pausing occasionally to sniff the air for cigarette smoke and extending her slayer senses as much as possible hoping to pick up some trace of Spike.

Willy swore he hadn’t seen him, the Bronze was half-empty as it usually was on a week-night, and she found nothing in the cemeteries except some vampire dust here and there. When she found the body of a Grtxak demon lying near the entrance to Restfield, and saw the fang marks on it’s broken neck, she smiled through her tears, knowing Spike was somewhere around.

She couldn’t feel him anywhere in the cemetery, though, and sat down on a bench to rest and catch her breath. Suddenly she realized it was the same bench they had sat on months ago when she told him why she knew him so well. Putting her face in her hands, she wondered if he’d stay around long enough for her to explain that he hadn’t seen what he thought he saw.

Buffy was so wrapped up in her own misery, she didn’t register the warning signals her senses were sending until a vampire had tackled her over backwards, temporarily stunning her and pinning her to the ground. While Buffy struggled to regain her senses and focus her eyes, the vamp reached for her throat with his mouth, only to encounter the weak signal from Spike’s marks.

He flinched back momentarily, then shook his head and snarling something about “half-assed claims”, he ran his tongue up her neck, licking the spot he intended to bite. Buffy was gradually regaining her awareness of the danger she was in, but the large vamp had her thoroughly pinned down and all she could do was try to buck him loose.

When an outraged snarl from behind caused him to lift his head, she took advantage of his momentary distraction and butted the side of his face with her forehead.

 _Ooooh, Buffy. So not a good idea_ … she had time to think before she briefly lost consciousness again.

Somewhat to her surprise, she didn’t wake up bleeding and dying. She was still lying on the ground, but instead of being bitten by the vamp, she was treated to the sound of a familiar voice. Raising her aching head, she stared blearily toward the two vampires now circling each other and snarling threats.

The one that had been trying to bite her was insisting that she was his meal, and that the other could just “go find your own stupid blonde”. Spike stopped his snarling long enough to ask, “Do you really not know what you have there, you stupid git?”

“I have dinner. Looks like somebody got a piece of her once before, but the claim isn’t strong enough to keep me away,” he bragged. “I say finders keepers – the vamp that claimed her should’ve stayed around to watch his property.”

Spike visibly flinched at his words and he shot a glance at Buffy to see if she’d heard, before turning back to the other vamp to ask in a deceptively mild tone of voice, “What’s makes you so sure he didn’t?”

Shifting into game face, he leapt at the other vampire, the demon taking over completely once Spike released it. He grabbed the larger vampire by the throat and easily lifted him with one hand until the other’s feet were off the ground.

“D’ ya really think anything but a master vampire could’ve laid claim to the Slayer, you ignorant pillock?”

The other’s eyes widened in understanding as the girl he’d thought was down for the count, jumped gracefully to her feet and came to stand beside the angry, and obviously much, much older vampire holding him in the air.

“You want to do the honors, pet, or can I rip his head off?”

“If you want him, you can have him, just make it quick.”

Spike cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at her, but obediently tightened his hand around the other vamp’s neck and squeezed until the head lolled to one side and he could use his other hand to twist it off. He watched the dust drift away with some satisfaction, although he was disappointed that he wasn’t allowed to take his time making the unfortunate vamp sorry for having touched his slayer.

When he could no longer see the remains floating away, he turned reluctantly to find Buffy looking at him with some anxiety. Now that the danger was gone, he remembered why he’d been away from her in the first place and he stiffened, trying to ignore the pleading in her eyes.

“What the hell were you doin’ out here at this time of night, anyway?” he asked gruffly. “Shouldn’t you be doin’ some more birthday snoggin’ with the great poof? There’s nothin’ left out here to slay tonight.”

“So I noticed,” she said softly, moving closer to him.

When he stepped back, maintaining the distance between them, her eyes filled with tears again and she reached out to touch his arm. The heat from her hand burned through the leather of his coat.

“Yeah, well, I had some… I was bloody pissed off. Took it out on any sorry wankers that crossed my path tonight.” He tried to ignore the effect her touch was having on his body. “You didn’t answer my question, pet,” he continued when she all she did was look apologetic. “What were you doin’ out here?”

“Do I really need to answer that? Don’t you know?” Her steady gaze dared him to deny that he knew she was looking for him. “Why did you run away? I was on my way to the kitchen to see who Mom was talking to when….”

“When you stopped to have a snog with Angel?” he asked, unable to hide the hurt in his voice.

She flinched again, then raised her head and said clearly, “He grabbed me as I went by. He knew you were there, but I didn’t. Not until the marks tingled. I… I wasn’t expecting to see you yet and I thought I was just feeling Angel’s signature when you came in. I was already pushing him away when you ran out, and he stopped me from following you. As soon as Mom told me it was really you I felt, I left to find you.”

“And the poof? What’d you tell him?”

“Uh, I didn’t… I just kinda… hit him. I’m gonna have to fix my mom’s stove when I get home. I think I broke it.”

She peered up at him from under her eyebrows and was relieved to see a reluctant smile come over his face.

“Any chance you broke him too?” he inquired hopefully.

“I didn’t stop to check,” she said, trying once again to move closer to him. “I had something more important to do.”

“And what’s that, pet?” he asked, stepping toward her. He kept his hands jammed into his pockets to prevent them from touching her the way he wanted to. His pride, which had already been injured once when Drusilla kicked him out for the Chaos demon, had taken another hit when he saw Buffy with Angel and it kept him from following his inclination to kiss her senseless.

“This,” she whispered, going up on her toes to brush her lips across his.

“You have Angel breath,” he muttered, even as he leaned toward her to maintain contact with her mouth.

“Make it go away,” she murmured back, running her tongue around his lips and touching it gently to his sensitive teeth.

With a groan, he conceded defeat and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his body as he began to kiss her in earnest. Buffy almost cried with relief when she felt him give in, and she melted against him, letting her tongue and lips tell him how much she’d missed him.

Her arms went up around his neck and he lifted her off the ground, holding her against him in a way that would have crushed the ribs of an ordinary woman. But Buffy was not an ordinary human, and she clutched him back with equal strength as she lost herself in the sensation of being once more wrapped in his arms.

With each of them being the other’s favorite kisser, it wasn’t long before their lips and tongues had the inevitable effect and Spike’s hard length was pressed against her stomach while his nostrils flared at the scent of her arousal. He pulled one leg up to his hip and she quickly brought the other one up so that her legs were around his waist and her warm, damp crotch was pressed against him.

She began to whimper when he pushed his hips forward, increasing the contact between them and setting up the need for more friction between her legs. He slid his hands down to her ass and pulled her tightly against him, grinding his erection into her.

Words he never intended to say to her flew out of his mouth as he moved it down her throat, leaving a trail of kisses and small bites.

“Missed you, Slayer. Never stopped thinkin’ about this; about you and what you do to me. Want you so much, luv. Need you…”

Buffy continued to grind against him, desperate for both the release she craved and the need to feel him against her from head to toe. She whimpered with unfulfilled desire, wanting to stop and tear their clothes off and too caught up in what they were doing to let go.

When he suddenly lifted his head with a snarl and dropped her to the ground, she almost cried out in disappointment, but her slayer training forced her to overcome her feeling of deprivation and to fall into a fighting stance at his side. Spike had whirled to face the gate of the cemetery and went into game face as soon as his grandsire appeared. He’d felt Angel’s presence before the older vampire was close enough to see what he and Buffy had been doing and his earlier rage came flooding back as his grandsire strode up to them.

“Buffy! There you are! I’ve been hunting all over Sunnydale for you. Are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

He turned to Spike and growled dismissively, “I don’t know why you came back here, Spike, but you’re not wanted or needed, so go back where you came from. If you leave right now, I won’t kill you.”

“I’m here because I want to be, you arrogant wanker, and I’ll stay till somebody worth listenin’ to tells me to leave.” He stepped forward. “And anytime you want to try….”

“Spike.” Buffy’s soft voice and touch on his arm stopped him immediately and he dropped his vamp face to look at her. He tried to read her expression, vowing to himself that if she looked worried about Angel he would leave Sunnydale and never return – dreams of warm, loving kisses be damned.

All he saw in her eyes was the warmth and affection he’d been seeing there since he first came to Sunnydale, along with just a touch of sexual frustration and anger. Relaxing his shoulders, he shrugged and said softly, “Alright, pet.”

Angel blinked at them in confusion as Spike moved away to sit on the bench. He noticed that the younger vampire never took his eyes off the Slayer, not even to cast a threatening look at his grandsire and he looked back and forth between them with narrowed eyes. He could smell Buffy’s arousal on the air and suspicion began to work its way into his self-centered brain.

“Buffy,” he growled, “I think you need to tell me exactly why you are in a cemetery at this hour of the night with a vampire whose only claim to fame – except for his awful poetry – is killing slayers. How can you possibly trust him not to—”

“I trust him because I know him, Angel. Just as I know you… and Angelus.”

“You trust him because he helped you put my soul back? You know he just did that to get Dru away from me—er, Angelus. Not because he cares what happens to you. He has no reason not to kill you now.”

“Actually, I have a—” Spike started then broke off at a glare from Buffy. “Right, shut up, Spike. Got it.” He settled back on the bench, sending his grandsire a smirk. “Still waitin’ to be thanked for that whole soul thing, by the way, Peaches. Or are you not so happy about having it back… Angelus?”

“If it weren’t for this soul, I’d have killed Buffy AND you a long time ago,” he growled, turning his back on the annoying smirk Spike was wearing.

Turning around put him face to face with a very angry slayer and he suddenly remembered that she had sent him across a room with one punch, and kicked him into unconsciousness when he’d lost his soul.

“I didn’t really mean that, Buffy. You know I wouldn’t ever hurt you. I want you to be happy and safe, that’s all.”

“If that’s really true, Angel, then you need to leave now. Because I am perfectly safe here. And I was working on being very happy before you interrupted!”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Buffy knew she’d made a mistake. The anger that flared in the suddenly amber eyes of the old vampire reminded her that he still viewed her as his just-turned-seventeen-year-old virginal ideal to be kept on a pedestal.

Through the angry haze her words created, Angel remembered what she’d said to him when Angelus was threatening to take her virginity, and he stared back and forth from the girl he idolized to the grinning vampire on the bench. With a roar of outrage, he launched himself at Spike, fully intending to rid himself of the younger vampire forever.

However, Spike hadn’t lived as long as he had without learning to read Angelus and his moods very well, and he was already on his feet and moving before the older vampire had covered the distance between them.

Suddenly Buffy felt the limitations of her younger, less trained and fit body as the two master vampires she cared about fell to the ground in a snarling tangle of fangs and claws. She watched anxiously, hovering around them, ready to step in if it looked like either one was going to be dust.

After the initial flurry of fangs, the two demons split apart and began to exchange punches and kicks, leaping from the tops of crypts to the ground and hurling tombstones at each other. Feeling slightly less worried that they were going to kill each other, Buffy perched on top of a mausoleum where she could see the course of the fight and step in quickly if needed. The two powerful demons fought until they were both exhausted, pausing by mutual consent to inhales large gulps of unneeded air and to rest their weary arms.

Before they could begin again, Buffy stepped between them and held out her hands to keep them apart.

“If the testosterone levels have dropped to reasonable levels, can we agree that this was a tie and go home before the sun comes up and fries you both?”

“This isn’t over, William,” Angel said with a deadly glare. He looked at Buffy sadly for a minute and said coldly, “And you’re not what I thought you were.”

“I’m not WHO you thought I was, Angel. I’ve been trying to get you to see that for months. “ She looked at him sympathetically. “I know it was a shock to find out that your innocent little Buffy was gone and a much older, bitchier one had taken her place, but that’s just the way it is. I’m here, and unless we can find out how I got here and reverse it, I’m not going anywhere. Get used to it or leave town.”

“Could leave town anyway, used to it or not?” Spike came to stand behind Buffy. “Ow! Slayer. What the bloody hell was that for?” He bent over holding the tender spot on his stomach where she’d elbowed him.

With a final glare at them both, Angel turned around and left them standing in the early morning dampness. Buffy cast a glance at the lightening sky and pulled Spike with her toward the crypt they’d hidden in when the Faryls chased them.

“Come-on, let’s get you out of the sun. We’ll take the sewers to my house and I’ll clean those wounds up. You can stay in the basement for the rest of the day.”

 

Chapter Twenty-three

They ducked into the crypt that Buffy seemed to know so well and Spike went into vamp face so that he could see the way for them just as he had before. He stopped in the middle of the crypt to look around and commented, “You know, this wouldn’t be too bad if it was cleaned up a little. And with that downstairs area available for a bedroom…” He stopped when he heard Buffy giggling and cocked an eyebrow at her.

When she didn’t respond to his unspoken question, he realized she couldn’t see him and he said “What? Is it funny that I’d want to live in a crypt? I AM a vampire, you know.”

“No, that’s not what’s funny. It’s just that you… never mind.” She waved her hand in the air and added, “I think if you put down some soft oriental rugs and got a nice bed, the downstairs could be quite… comfy.”

“Why would I want orient….” He stopped and threw up his hands in sudden understanding. “Bloody hell, woman,” he growled, “why don’t you just tell me what furniture to get and what part of the room it goes in? I’m guessing that would save me a lot of time.”

Buffy’s shoulders were still shaking with laughter and she moved closer to him and slipped her arms around his waist.

“I’m sorry, Spike. But you had to know there was a reason I knew about this crypt. It’s not like I make a habit of learning the ins and outs of all the crypts in the cemetery.”

He gave her a reluctant grin and looked around again.

“So, this is where I Iived when we….”

“Yeah, most of the time. I mean while we were… but then you lived in my basement for a while too.”

“I lived with you? How’d that go over with Mum?” The instant he felt her stiffen, he remembered her reaction to the mention of her mother’s future when he’d brought it up before and he pulled her against his chest more tightly.

“Ah, I’m so sorry, luv. I’m a stupid git. I forgot…”

“It’s okay,” she mumbled into his chest. “I’m not going to let it happen this time. At least I hope not.”

“ ‘M sorry, anyway. Seems like I keep openin’ my big mouth and remindin’ you of things I’m supposed to know about. Maybe I should just stop talkin’.”

“Oh, yeah, like that’s gonna happen,” she sniffed with a smile.

“Hey! Tryin’ to be nice here, Missy. Jus’ watch it.” His gentle smile belied the threat in his words.

Buffy nuzzled his chest with her face, getting blood on her cheek in the process and she was instantly reminded that he was injured.

“Come on, Big Bad. Let’s get you home and cleaned up. You’re getting blood all over me.”

“Mmmmmm,” he said, obediently leading her toward the open entrance to the lower level. “Could lick it off for you if you’d like…”

“Later,” she said as she followed him down the hole and into the arms she knew would be there to catch her. “Definitely later.”

With a sigh, he released her and looked around for the exit. Buffy gestured in the general direction of the tunnels leading to the sewers and he prowled around, sniffing and using his enhanced night vision to find the way out.

“Do you know how to get from here to your house?” he asked curiously.

“Oh, shit!” she groaned in dismay.

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’?”

“I didn’t even think about that. You – my Spike – knows the way so well… Damn!”

“Don’t worry, pet. We’ll suss it out. Jus’ stop and think for a minute. Tell me what you do know about these tunnels and which direction you think your house is.”

Buffy frowned and tried to picture the landscape above them.

“Okay. There’s a manhole right outside the cemetery gate, which is in that direction.” She gestured toward her right, knowing Spike could see her hand motions. “And my house is that way from the gate,” she added, pointing to the left.

“Right, then. Off we go.” He took her hand and led her out of the cavern and into the tunnels. As soon as he realized there was room for them to walk side-by-side, he linked their fingers and they splashed along together as though strolling through a park on a lovely spring day.

He paused at the manhole, looking around at the branching tunnels and sniffing the air. Buffy climbed up the ladder and nudged the cover up just enough that she could look around and get her bearings. When she felt Spike right behind her on the ladder, she started and gasped.

“What are you doing?” she whispered, although there was nobody out yet in the early dawn light.

“Jus’ had to follow that luscious rump, pet,” he laughed as he nipped her on one cheek with his blunt human teeth. “Bet it tastes as good as it looks…”

“There will be no discussion about tasting any of my body parts, mister. Not while you’re in game face, anyway.”

“Not wearin’ m’fangs just now,” he purred, running his mouth up to the bare skin exposed as she held the manhole cover open. He licked and nibbled his way around to her side, smiling when he smelled her arousal and felt her heart rate pick up.

“You need to stop that,” she murmured, even as she leaned back into him. “There’s no place here to—” She stopped with a little shriek as he ran his hands up to her breasts and cupped them both. She felt him moving up the ladder and he was soon pressed against her body, his cool fingers still on her aching breasts. He slid his thumbs over the lace-covered nipples, smiling as they hardened in his hands.

“There’s always a place, luv.” He ran his tongue down the side of her neck, thrilling at the way she shuddered when it touched his marks. The way his tongue tingled told him the connection was still working for him too and he almost frowned at the idea that such a small amount of blood could establish such a long-lasting claim.

 _Got to look into that one of these days. Maybe it’s ‘cause she’s the Slayer or something._

Buffy turned around as far as she could and craned her neck so that she could reach his mouth with hers. The matching moans from the partially open manhole would have startled any early morning joggers had there been any. Fortunately, most residents of Sunnydale knew better than to go out running until the sun was completely up and all shadows had been banished for the day.

Surrendering to the sensations the eager vampire was creating, Buffy allowed the cover to drop back into place as she turned around completely to meet Spike’s kiss and wrap her arms around his neck. He put one arm through the side rail of the ladder and used it to hold them in place while he ran the other one under her shirt, stroking her warm, silky skin and leaving heated trails everywhere his cool fingers touched.

The need to touch him became overwhelming and Buffy brought her hands down to push his tee shirt up and run them over his smoothly-muscled back. When she started to wrap her legs around his waist again, he stopped her, smothering her complaining pout with another kiss.

Jus’ a second, luv,” he coaxed, reaching down between them and undoing his jeans. He groaned with relief when his erection sprang out, then hissed when she immediately wrapped one warm hand around it. While she stroked the hard column of flesh, imagining what she couldn’t see in the dark, Spike was undoing the fastenings on her own pants and sliding his cool fingers into the waiting warmth and moisture.

Buffy moaned and arched against his hand, wishing for one of the few times in her life that she’d worn a skirt instead of pants. She almost growled in frustration as he struggled to push them down far enough to spread her legs.

“Don’t know why you have to wear such bloody tight pants, pet,” he gasped, almost losing his grip on the ladder.

“Note to self,” she panted, “Always wear a skirt around Spike.”

They stopped their frantic pushing and rubbing for a second, laughing softly at their mutual frustration. Reluctantly, Spike pushed himself away from her and let her shimmy her pants down her legs. She held the cuff with one foot and pulled one leg off to dangle in the air while she immediately brought the freed leg up to catch on his bare hip.

With a growl, he grabbed her smooth, bare ass and pulled her closer, rubbing his now completely exposed cock against her. She mewed as he allowed it to slide up and down her slit, the moisture pooling there making it glide smoothly over her clit. When he slid back down, she jumped up and wrapped her other leg around his hips, dropping onto his ready shaft.

Spike grabbed the ladder with both hands as she wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed her full weight to settle his cock deeply inside. He felt himself shudder with the effort it took not to come right then and there. Feeling her warmth wrapped tightly around him banished any lingering memories of, or longing for, the former love of his life. He closed his eyes and reveled in the rightness of the feelings pouring through him.

Buffy sighed with relief when she once again felt him buried inside her. The sheer pleasure of feeling him filling her up temporarily made any other activity unnecessary. Tears prickled her eyes as she lost herself in the comfort of his presence. She wondered briefly if he could feel the love flooding her heart and if he could, what he would make of it.

As soon as Spike felt he had himself under control, he began rocking his hips against hers and setting up the friction he knew she was craving. In only a few seconds, she was gasping and panting as she clenched around him, a small orgasm ripping through her body. She felt him smiling against her mouth and she smiled back as she broke the kiss to murmur, “Pretty proud of yourself, huh?”

He laughed softly, releasing one hand from the ladder to hold her hips in place while he pushed into her.

“Do you always cum that easily, luv?” he asked. Her quick response had both thrilled and surprised him.

“I do for you,” she answered, suddenly embarrassed and shy, remembering that to this Spike she was not the familiar lover that her Spike had brought to ecstasy over and over again, but, in many ways, a complete stranger.

Spike almost choked as he found himself suddenly incredibly grateful to his other self for causing this amazing woman to fall in love with him.

 _Don’ know what I did, or why I did it, but I’d do it again in a minute jus’ to have her here makin’ those sounds and movin’ around me like this._

Without the use of his hands to guide her hips, Spike was dependent on her Slayer muscles to help her move up and down on him. As her pace increased and he felt his release approaching, he slid back into vamp face so as to be able to watch her face.

“Come with me, love,” he begged, twisting his hips to nudge the spot inside that was making her gasp and whimper. “Come on, Slayer, come with me… Buffy!”

When he cried out her name as he jerked his hips and spurted into her, she clenched around him and sobbed into his neck, murmuring, “Spike, Spike, Spike.”

For seconds, the only thing preventing them from falling off the ladder and into the filth below was the arm Spike had threaded through the railing. Their bodies were limp; Buffy’s being held up by the vampire’s other arm as she continued to cry into his neck. Spike’s legs were so weak, he could barely maintain his balance on the thin ladder.

As he got his equilibrium back, he realized that the Slayer was still crying and he pushed her away gently so that he could see her face.

“Got say, pet, all this cryin’ isn’t doin’ a whole lot for my ego. Want to let a bloke in on what’s wrong?”

“No… nothing…” she sobbed. “I’m just ha… happy.”

“Oh,” he waited for a few seconds, then pulled her close again. “Think you could find some other way to show it, love? I can’t really say I fancy making you cry – and seems like I’ve done nothing but since I first got here.”

“I’m okay,” she said, letting out a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m sorry. I’m not always this emotional. I promise.”

“ ‘S alright, pet. Have to say I was pretty gobsmacked by that too.” He ran his tongue over the marks on her neck again, causing them both to catch their breath. “I can’t even imagine what we’d be like together with some privacy and a real bed.”

“You have no idea, vampire,” she growled, grabbing his shoulder in her blunt little teeth and biting just hard enough to get his attention. “No idea at all.”

 

 **Chapter Twenty-four**

Once their clothes were back in place, and Buffy had taken another look out of the manhole, they were on their way through the sewers to the house on Revello Drive. A quick dash from the manhole near the Summers’ house to the sheltered front porch, and the two were back inside, safe from the rapidly rising sun.

When Joyce came downstairs for breakfast, she found Spike and Buffy in the kitchen. Buffy had the first aid kit out and was cleaning the wounds left from Spike’s battle with Angel. One eye was swollen partly shut, but his vampire healing had already kicked in and most of what Buffy was doing was as much to make her feel useful as it was to help him.

At her mother’s questioning look, Buffy began to stammer something about “demons” and “vampires”, but Spike just looked at Joyce and said calmly, “Had a bit of a disagreement with the Poof. Think he’s got it sorted out now.”

Joyce nodded, noticing the relaxed and happy expression on her daughter’s face. While Buffy had not had anything to really cause her any trouble since they restored Angel’s soul, she had gone through the long, boring days with a look of wistful longing on her face and a lingering trace of sadness in her voice no matter what she was doing. That look of sadness and longing was gone now, and her mother rejoiced to see her daughter happy again.

The fact that several months ago she hadn’t known that vampires and demons even existed, let alone that her daughter was born to protect the world from them, didn’t stop her from being grateful to the vampire whose arrival had given Buffy some measure of happiness. Although Buffy had not told her mother everything that had happened to her and the people around her, she’d said enough that Joyce knew how rare happiness was in her daughter’s life and if an undead, soulless creature was what it took to provide it, then he had her complete blessing.

She left for work, fighting back the automatic “Mom” comments about behaving themselves while she was gone. As hard as it was to give up her hopes and aspirations for her young daughter, she’d talked with Buffy enough to be very aware that the young woman wearing her teen-aged daughter’s body was a full adult and not likely to concern herself with meeting her mother’s expectations of proper behavior. Instead, Joyce sighed for lost innocence and told them to “have fun and be careful” as she let herself out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 **Somewhere and somewhen else:**

 

Giles glared at Willow with an expression that could only be called thunderous.

“What do you mean, you only wanted her to be happy? Where is she?”

“I, um, I don’t exactly know….” The powerful witch swallowed hard and suddenly felt very young again as Buffy’s former watcher demanded she tell him what had happened to his surrogate daughter.

Willow had awakened that morning, content to know that she’d improved Buffy’s outlook on life, only to find an empty bed when she went into the Slayer’s room. After searching the entire house and grounds without finding a trace of Buffy or even a note, she’d begun to get an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach.

She put off telling anyone her suspicions for as long as she could, but by dinner time when no one had seen or heard from Buffy all day, Willow was forced to conclude there might have been a problem with her spell. Steeling herself for what she knew would be a very unpleasant encounter, she knocked on the door to Giles’ office and entered timidly.

When she saw Dawn glaring at her from the couch, she almost turned and ran out. One look at Willow’s frightened face and the former Key whirled on the older man to demand, “Look at her! Don’t tell me she didn’t do anything! I can see it in her face.”

Giles sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he removed his glasses.

“Willow, is there any chance you know where Buffy has gone? Or that you had anything to do with it?”

His patient question brought her mumbled response of, “I only wanted her to be happy again,” thereby eliciting the display of temper.

“I knew it!” Dawn threw up her hands and began to pace the room on her long legs. “Where did you send her?”

“I… I didn’t send her anywhere. I just did a little spell that was supposed to make her feel like she did when she was sixteen. Before Angel lost his soul, before her mom died, before she died and…”

“And before you yanked her out of heaven,” Dawn snarled.

“She was happy then. I just thought if she could recapture that feeling, she’d be able to go on with her life and stop mourning for Spike. I don’t know what could possibly have gone wrong. I swear!”

Giles could see from the tears in Willow’s eyes that she was sincere and he tried to control his temper.

“All right, Willow. I believe you didn’t intend to send her anywhere – but clearly that has happened. I’m going to consult the coven and see if they have any ideas how we can locate her.”

It was several months later that Giles, Willow and, at her own insistence, Dawn, were gathered in a large room with several of the seers from the coven that worked with the Council of Watchers. They were holding one of Buffy’s sweaters, hoping to be able to trace its owner.

Silence settled over the room as the smell of incense and wax candles pervaded the air. The small group of seers closed their eyes and concentrated on following the faint path of Buffy’s essence. They communed with each other silently, occasionally nodding or shaking their heads, and once twitching in surprise. Just when Dawn felt she would explode with impatience, the lead seer opened her eyes and slumped with a sigh of relief.

Not giving them time to recover at all, Dawn immediately demanded, “Well? Did you find her? Where is she? How do we get her back?”

Shaking her head at the girl’s impatience, the lead seer addressed Giles to report, “She has been sent to another dimension that is several years behind this one. However, we’re not sure how the portal was opened. No one here has that kind of power. Only the PTB can manipulate dimensional time portals like that.”

“So I didn’t do it?” The relief in Willow’s voice was palpable.

“We don’t believe so. It would appear that the Powers That Be used your spell as a catalyst to open the portal and send the Slayer back to her early days in Sunnydale. To what purpose, we can only speculate.”

Willow exhaled and leaned back in her chair, sighing with relief.

“So, she’s happy, then? Is it before or after Spike came to Sunnydale and tried to kill her? Has Angel lost his soul yet?”

“It appears that William the Bloody is indeed in Sunnydale, although he does not appear to be trying to kill her.”

The older woman flushed and quickly moved on.

“As for Angelus, it seems he lost his soul only briefly and now has it back again. Albeit, he does not appear to be in a very good mood at this time.”

“So… that’s it then?” Dawn’s voice trembled. “Buffy’s gone? We can’t get her back?”

The gentle witches looked at her with sympathy.

“It does appear that is the case. If it is any comfort, she seems quite happy now.”

All three seers blushed and cleared their throats simultaneously. When she saw Dawn’s devastation, the older one offered, “You are the Key, you know. If anyone would be able to move between dimensions, it would be you. We can work on that for you and see if we can find a way to harness your power and direct it.”

Dawn nodded her head and looked at them pleadingly. “Yes, please. Even if I can just see her….”

“We will work on that.”

Nodding at the profuse thanks offered by Giles and Willow, the three powerful witches took their leave. Buffy’s remaining family and her best friend went back upstairs and sat in the living room, each lost in his or her thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 **somewhere else….**

Spike came to his senses gradually. At first all he was aware of was that he was alive and seemed to be in more or less one piece. Which was something of a miracle in and of itself, as the last thing he remembered was being swarmed by too many demons to count as Angel and the dragon flew into the side of a building and exploded into flames.

He recalled Illyria standing in front of Gunn’s lifeless body and tossing demons away with both hands. Although the numbers facing her were as large as those attacking Spike, she appeared to be doing her time-warping thing and slowing them down so that she could pick them off one at a time.

 _Good on Blue. I hope she took a thousand of those blighters with her before she went down._

The aching vampire tentatively tried to sit up, only to find himself groaning and dropping back on the peculiar surface beneath him. He would have sworn he was lying on a cloud, if it weren’t for the fact that it was semi-solid and he wasn’t falling through it.

Maybe I’m a ghost again? Ghosts can sit on clouds, can’t they? Bloody hell, can’t I just be dusted and get it over with for once? What do the soddin’ PTB want from me now?

No sooner had that thought crossed his mind, than two very strange-looking people appeared and stood over him.

“This is he? This is the one we’ve gone to all this trouble for?”

“Yes, there is no mistake. This is the One. And we’re not going to all this trouble just for him. You know that.”

“Yes, yes. Quite right. Different dimensions, different outcomes, reward the Slayer, I’ve got it. I still say he doesn’t look like much.”

“Hey! Standin’…er…lyin’ right here, wankers!” Spike struggled to his feet and faced the shocked pair defiantly. They recoiled when the dirty, smoke and blood-covered vampire approached them.

“And what’d you two say about the Slayer? Where is she? She’s alright, isn’t she?”

The two oddly dressed beings looked at each other and then back at him.

“She’s all right. We’ll let you see her shortly. But first we need to explain a few things…”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
 **And back to Sunnydale…**

 

After Joyce had left, Spike and Buffy remained in the kitchen. She tried to ignore the way they obviously felt uncomfortable with each other, and busied herself putting away the first aid supplies. She avoided looking at the vampire; suddenly unsure of herself and wondering why he’d come back so soon.

She was running out of busy-work to keep her occupied when she sensed his presence behind her. He slipped a cool muscular arm around her waist and pulled her back against his chest, nuzzling her neck as he did so.

“Havin’ second thoughts, luv? Wishin’ you’d left me in that crypt for the day while you suss out how you feel about havin’ me back?”

She turned in his embrace and reached up to fasten her lips on his in an extended kiss that promised things he wasn’t sure he wanted. When she finally broke it off, she pulled away slightly and gave him a small smile.

“No second thoughts. I’m just wondering why you’re back so soon and how long you’re going to stay this time.”

“I’m back because… I… bloody hell!” He released her and turned away growling in frustration. “Dru kicked me out for a Chaos demon and I came back here because I knew I could. I knew you’d want me.”

“So you’re here, not because you want me, but because you know I want you. You needed some ego stroking?”

Even as she said the words and felt the hurt and anger building, the parallels to her own life with Spike continued to work their way into her consciousness.

 _This has to be somebody trying to teach me something. It isn’t even subtle, for God’s sake. Do they think I’m stupid?_

Buffy looked up at the ceiling and shocked them both by yelling, “All right, already! I get it! You don’t have to hit me over the head!”

When the vampire stared at her in complete bewilderment, she blushed and looked at the floor, mumbling to herself.

“What the bleedin’ hell was that all about, Slayer? Who were you talkin’ to?”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “But it needed to be said.”

Spike shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat and kicked the side of the counter.

“Look, Slayer. I’m sorry if this isn’t what you thought or what you wanted. I jus’ thought… If you don’t want me here, say so and I’ll leave.”

His stomach clenched as he watched her stricken face and he found himself moving closer to her even as he told himself he didn’t care if he hurt her. She was just a warm body to use until Dru was willing to take him back.

“You… you want to leave already?”

“Didn’t say that, pet. I said if you don’t want me here. If me being here is gonna cause you pain… don’t want to hurt you, luv. Never want to hurt you. I jus’ don’t know if I can be what you want… what you deserve.”

To his dismay, instead of making her feel better, his words caused tears to spring into her eyes and he growled and shook his head.

“Bloody hell, woman. You see? Only been her a little while and I’m already makin’ you cry again. What did I say?”

“Nothing,” she shook her head, laughing and crying at the same time. “You didn’t do anything except to remind me that at your unsouled, evil worst you’re a better person than I am.”

“You are completely daft. You’re startin’ to make Dru look like a poster girl for sanity.” He put his arms around her and planted a kiss on her forehead. “See if any of this sounds familiar. You – Chosen One, saves the world, keeps it safe for puppies and… whatever. Me – evil vampire, kills and eats innocent people. I don’t know what the hell this thing is between us, but it hasn’t changed who or what I am.”

“Not yet,” she sniffled, her words muffled by his leather coat.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You know me.” He growled into her hair, the vibrations sending shivers all through her body. She slid her hands around his back, under the soft leather and tee shirt onto his cool skin. When she had pushed the tee shirt up as far as she could, she fastened her mouth on one nipple and worried it with her teeth and tongue.

Spike groaned and ran his hands down over her ass, pulling her into his rapidly hardening cock.

“Ah, now, that’s cheatin’, luv. We were having a serious conversation here and you’re tryin’ to distract me.”

“Is it working?” She moved her mouth to his other nipple and pulled it into her mouth to suck on it before dropping soft kisses down over his rib cage and into the little hollow beside his hipbone.

“Oh, yeah. It’s workin’” he growled, picking her up and heading unerringly for the stairs. When he reached the top of the stairs, a giggling Buffy nibbling on his neck the whole time, he was just able to grind out, “Which one?” before following her pointing finger into her bedroom and falling onto the bed with her. While she writhed beneath him, he shoved the stuffed animals off the bed with one arm and began tugging at her clothes with the other.

 

 **Chapter Twenty-five**

Spike stared into the pool of clear water, watching himself offering to leave Sunnydale if Buffy wanted it and he could barely keep from jumping into the vision in front of him.

“Are you completely off, you stupid git? She doesn’t want you to leave! She wants you to love her. Argh!”

His inarticulate snarls of rage had the PTB backing away from the furious vampire.

“What the fuck’s the matter with me? Him?”

“He is in a different dimension where things are happening in a way they did not in the one you came from. This Spike is still in love with Drusilla, has no chip, no soul, and barely knows the Slayer. He’s intrigued that she loves him, or her version of him, but he doesn’t know how to reciprocate yet.”

“That’s my Slayer in there? My Buffy?”

He looked at them for verification, even though they had explained several times what he was going to be seeing in the vision pool.

“Yes, as we told you, she has been sent into an alternate dimension with the memories of her own life intact so that she can perhaps alter things and have a happier life.”

“Since when do you lot worry about anyone’s happiness?” he asked suspiciously.

There was a whispered consultation between the two beings before the girl turned to him and said, “An effort is being made to reward the heroes of one dimension, while at the same time preventing some of the same problems from arising in this one. It was determined that the Slayer, if she had someone equal to the task at her side, could make that difference.”

“So, you want us to save the world in the water and if we incidentally make each other happy doin’ it, that’s our bonus?” His lifted eyebrow and the smirk that accompanied it clearly indicated he expected nothing more from them than more manipulation.

“Something like that, yes. It would be a crude way of putting it, but it is essentially correct,” the boy said stiffly.

“Well, I’m a rude, crude vamp, so don’t be getting’ your knickers in a twist about it.”

He looked into the pool again, watching himself carry Buffy up the stairs and into her bedroom. He looked back at the two oddly dressed beings again and asked quietly, “If it’s all about makin’ her happy this time, why isn’t the great poof in there instead of me?”

The girl made an annoyed face and hissed at him, “Would you pay attention? That is not the sixteen-year-old Slayer from this dimension. It is – for lack of a better term – YOUR slayer. She does not want Angelus. She wants you. She has been mourning you for over a year. Until now, all we could do was offer her the version of you occupying this dimension. However, now that you have… changed planes again-“

“That PTB speak for died again?”

She looked momentarily uncomfortable, then said quickly, “You are neither alive nor dead at the moment. Until you decide what you wish to do, you are between planes.”

“I get to decide?” Disbelief was obvious on his face.

“Yes,” the boy broke in angrily. “You can choose to join her in that dimension and assist her to meet whatever dangers may come up, or you can go on to another plane and leave her with that version of you. You must decide soon. We have other matters to attend to.”

Spike looked back down at Buffy’s room, watching himself pulling roughly on her clothes, and running his hands over her body. He watched her touching his face gently, marveled at the love he could see in her eyes as she stared at the Spike pressing her body into the bed.

“Touch her, you stupid git,” he whispered. “She wants you to touch her now. And kiss her. She likes being kissed. Come on you bloody wanker, make it good for her.”

He watched in frustration as his doppleganger made love to his Slayer, knowing she was enjoying it, and yet confident it wasn’t what it should be for her because the vampire with his mouth on her clit didn’t know her body the way he did.

“Send me to her,” he said firmly, never taking his eyes off the couple on the bed. “Send me to her now!”

“Very well,” was the last thing he heard as his world went dark again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy moaned as Spikes talented tongue stroked along her outer folds and teased her into arching off the bed into his mouth. When he fastened his mouth around her clit and began to suck on it, she screamed his name and let the orgasm flow through her body.

Before she had completely recovered from that experience, still a new one for this body, the vampire had surged up her torso and buried himself inside her tightly clenched warmth. She brought her legs around his back and pulled him into her body until she thought they might melt together.

Suddenly his vigorous thrusting was augmented by a slight twist at the end of each stroke. A twist that hit a little bundle of nerves only one man had ever located. As each touch on the spot only Spike knew about brought her closer and closer to another release, she threw her head back and made a keening noise. She ground her pelvis into his, not sure if she was keening from pleasure or from something else.

All she knew was that this felt like her Spike and the emotions that was bringing to the surface threatened to overwhelm her. Squeezing her eyes closed, she surrendered to pure sensation and let it pulse through her, taking her someplace safe and wonderful.

She felt Spike begin to quiver as her muscles tightened around him and knew he was about to join her in a mutually explosive release. Reaching up with her mouth, she fastened her small little teeth on the skin of his throat and bit down as waves of pleasure washed over her. She heard Spike shout, “Buffy!” as he exploded into her. Then his fangs were on her neck and he sent her spiraling into another orgasm as he pulled long draughts of her rich blood into his mouth.

He soon stopped drinking, but remained inside her, cock still buried in her warmth and fangs still embedded in the skin of her throat. Slowly withdrawing his fangs and fading back into his human face, he whispered, “Mine,” as he laved the wounds closed.

“Yours,” she agreed, licking the droplets of blood coming from where she’d bitten his neck. “And you are mine.”

“That I am, love,” he said, raising his head and smiling down into her shocked eyes.

“I love you,” she said, holding his gaze and preparing to hear him tell her he didn’t love her.

“Not as much as I love you,” was the totally unexpected answer.

“Wha-?” Buffy stared at him, taking in the softness of his gaze and the… _soul_?… she could see in there.

“Sp… Spike?” Hope battled with hard-won experience as she watched his eyes fill with tears.

He began to slowly rock his hips, never taking his glistening eyes from hers and the slow comprehension growing there.

“It’s me, Buffy. I’m here. An’ I’m not leavin’. Not for Dru, or the poof, or the soddin’ Powers That Like to Mess With People. I’ll never leave you again. Be here till we’re both dust in the wind.”

“Did I die again? Am I back in Heaven?” she whispered with genuine bewilderment “Aren’t you already dust? Or ashes? Or something?”

“If I’ve got it figured out right – this is about as close to Heaven as either one of us is getting’ for awhile. Seems our talents are needed in this world and the PTB thought we’d do a better job if we were together.”

“You’re real? You’re really here and you’re my Spike?”

She ran her hands over his face, stroking the scar on his eyebrow, running her fingers down his cheekbone and touching his full lower lip. He pulled her finger into his mouth and sucked on it as he assured her, “ ‘M as real as somebody who keeps not dyin’ can be, love. And I’m definitely your Spike. Always was, always will be.”

He gently licked the claim he’d placed on her neck. “And you’re mine, Slayer. No half-arsed marks this time. Want the whole world to see those.”

Throughout their conversation, he’d never stopped the gentle rocking of his hips and that small bit of friction had set up the inevitable urge for more. Suddenly Buffy flexed her muscles and flipped them over so that she was straddling him and squeezing her Slayer muscles around his cock.

“Oh, god, pet, I love it when you do that,” he gasped, thrusting up into her.

“I know you do,” she whispered back, as she slid up and down on him.

When he reached his hands forward and began kneading her breasts while she rode him, she moaned and leaned toward him.

“I missed you so much,” she breathed. “I missed your hands on me, missed the way you kiss me, the way you love me…”

“ ‘M here now, love. I’ll always be here; holdin’ you, touchin’ you, lovin’ you. Never let you go…”

His hands on her waist held her down while he pushed up with his hips, watching her face as she gasped and whimpered her way to her climax. When she collapsed on his chest, her ragged breathing signaling her inability to continue just then, he wrapped his legs around hers and pinned her to his body while he continued to thrust in to her.

The angle of his hips put more friction on her clit and she moaned in his ear as he whispered to her, “Come with me, love. One more time. Come with me, sweetheart.”

“Oh, Spike I can’t…I…”

“Yes, you can, love. I know you can. Come for me, love. Come with me, Buffy.”

“No… I… can’t… couldn’t… possibly… mmmmm… ooooh…. Spike! “

His answering shout as he found his release in her, sent another small thrill through her exhausted body before she went limp on top of him. He held her boneless body cradled in his arms, his breathing as fast and ragged as her own. When he could move again, he shifted her off to the side where she stayed, one leg thrown over his and her head resting on his chest.

For long minutes they were silent, lost in all the possible ramifications of where they were and how they got there. The vampire was immersed in the scent and feel of his slayer. The physical closeness they’d just begun to work their way back to when he’d had to use the power of his soul and the amulet to close the Hellmouth had in no way prepared either of them for such a reunion.

“If the PTB are expecting us to save this world, they’re going to have to give me some time. I don’t think I could stop Xander from eating a doughnut right now.”

The deep chuckle that shook his chest sent a bolt of joy through her heart. She closed her eyes and gave silent thanks to the PTB for allowing them this second chance.

“I’m serious,” she said, with as much energy as she could summon. “I couldn’t stop a minor traffic accident right now, never mind an apocalypse.”

“Yes, you could, love. If you had to, you could.” He spoke with absolute certainty.

“Oh yeah? How do you know that? I might just be limp little Buffy for weeks.”

He chuckled again and pulled her up so that he could plant light kisses on her face and mouth.

“Because I know you, my love. I know you.”

 

The End


End file.
